the king's cage—favorite quotes, no context
(sam) i am a great debater. in fact, some would say i'm a master debater.
(sam) i will master debate liam o'brien as long as it takes until he comes to the realization that i am even more of a furious master debater than him.
(fjord) might as well stack the deck where we can. can i get a "haaay?” (beau) h-a-ay.
(jester) well, kind of, but usually like your eyes are going like this. (nott) there's a lot to see in the world. it's a very amazing place. listen, you might be enjoying this conversation but i am not. (jester) you are nott!
(jester) and sometimes when you're drinking this, you don't look for traps. or when you do, you trigger them. (nott) well, nobody's perfect.
(nott) it's 11:30 somewhere.
(fjord) saw it in this play called impossible mission. it was great.
(beau) the scripture at the front said, "let lie the king's instrument, deathless and detained, until the world ends." (fjord) deathless. (beau) and detained. (nott) well, we're going to make it deathful.
(sam/nott) it's just chains, guys. it's a bike repair shop.
(liam) our dice are haunted tonight.
(obann) now, i'm curious, why do you seek me out? we've not met before and yet you so abruptly interrupt…a meeting? i'm curious, what stake have you in this game? what do you know of me? why have you followed me? (laura/jester) …uhhh. (sam/nott) …several sessions ago, i don't know.
(laura) why did you get two 20s and we're all getting ones?
(liam) so he just bust through reality like the kool-aid man in open air.
(sam) we've got a lollipop, a cat's paw, and a giant baristro or whatever.
(sam) #blessed. (laura) #fuck.
(liam) we do not do well in tombs. historically. (laura) historically.
(marisha) a lid hits him, but we fucking couldn't? (taliesin) he gets hit by the cork from the champagne bottle. (sam) more people die from that than lightning strikes every year.
(marisha) yeah, the magical flying dick is the problem. (travis) i came in for the last sentence and it was a winner.
(travis) when he puts his hands to his mouth, it's never good.
(taliesin) yeah, that's almost a murder a round.
(laura) what if we just keep covering him in cuts and then he just turns into one giant mouth. he's got nothing to stand on at that point. (sam) yeah, that's right, and he could develop gingivitis. (taliesin) cavities, we could give him cavities. (sam) yeah, slowly die of gum disease. (liam) use chains as floss.
(sam) jester lavo-regard.
(laura) oh no, oh no. oh no! (taliesin) ooh, nope, nope. (sam) what was it? (ashley) two. (travis) two? flat two?
(matt) you've killed fiends in previous campaigns. (sam) yeah, but not in this campaign. we're surprised.
(ashley) i'm sorry. i forgot because of the ring of protection i have a plus one, so it was a three instead of a two.
(matt) the creature is not willing.
(jester) snap out of it, yasha. oh no, i hate it.
(laura) why is it so good? why are you rolling so good when you're not being yasha?
(liam) your arms are flexing on the verge of tearing. (marisha/beau) a little turd squeezes out, just a little.
(matt) oh, you're not there, sorry. (ashley) no! (matt) i'm such an asshole, i'm so sorry.
(matt) nott begins to run in a random direction. continues to run forward, hilariously enough. (nott) come on, you fuckers, let's go. what are you waiting for?
(liam) am i the first person to crit myself on the show? (sam) master debater.
(sam) gross, matt. gross. end whispers? oh, this is the worst.












