#bvrnished

I’ve Been Tagged Rules: i just copied and pasted this from WCs blog idk Last beverage: jizzzzzzz Last phone call: a 1-800-STEEMER Last text message: texting S-O-S to 93420 to support an irrelevant cause last time you cried: every day in the shower 

Dated someone twice: nah i hit it and quit it Been cheated on: i cheated on myself with a guy Kissed someone and regretted it: once i kissed a dog on the head and the dog tasted like grapes Lost someone special: yup Been depressed: no Been drunk and threw up: 5 min ago Drinking: hurhurhur

I’m about to: FUCK SHIT UP Listening to: myself sobbing in the shower Waiting for: myself to finish crying in the shower LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS: blue, black, sex

IN 2014 HAVE YOU…
Made a new friend: no  Fallen out of love: i fell IN love with sex Laughed until you cried: i cried so much that i started laughing Met someone who changed you: yes, my vibrator Found out who your true friends are: yes, and I HAVE FIVE OF THEM WORTH MENTIONING EVEN THOUGH 6 EXIST Found out someone was talking about you: no, but that might be because i'm always the one talking about other people behind their back. #trustissues #ineedtofeelimportant #soirelayalltheinformation #psychoanalysis #hashtag Kissed anyone on your Facebook friends list: gee i can't wait for my first kiss! it's gonna be real magical How many people on your Facebook friends list do you know in real life: all of the above First best friend: my ego. we've been growing together and inseparable <3

YOUR FUTURE Want kids: HAHAHA no Get married: noo Career: half of us want to be an engineer, the other half something to do with literature or bio the half writing this has no fucking clue  

WHICH IS BETTER Lips or eyes: eyes Hugs or kisses: i'll give both up and take the fucks 
Shorter or taller: taller Older or younger: older Romantic or spontaneous: seriously as long as he's human imdown  
Nice stomach or nice arms: ABS  Sensitive or loud: HUMAN IS MY TYPE Hook-up or relationship: hook-up. need you ask? Trouble-maker or hesitant: well, i'm not sure! i would have a lot of fun with a trouble-maker, cuz we'd do dumb shit together.  but I'm already enough of a badassmothafucka so i might want hesitant. actually jk if a guy is hesitant he'd HESITATE before fucking my brains out so yeah. trouble-maker

HAVE YOU EVER… Kissed a stranger: no, but i've avoided a stranger's gaze because the eyes are the window to the soul and i'm afraid of what they might see! Drank hard liquor: no Lost glasses/contacts: NO CUZ HALF OF US DONT HAVE THEM AND HALF OF US KEEPS IT AT HOME AND WOULD RATHER SQUINT AND MAKE STUPID HAND GESTURES SO HOW CAN YOULOSE SOMETHING THAT YOU NEVER REALLY USE Sex on first date: uh i wouldn't have a first date after having sex once, no Broke someone’s heart: no one i hook up with has a heart (nor do i) Been arrested: no but IM STILL A BADASS Turned someone down: i have no standards. once i saw a goat and i considered...but i had just showered and that happens so rarely i decided not to go with the goat Cried when someone died: yes Fallen for a friend: i tripped a friend and said friend fell flat on her face hahahahaha is that what we're talking about

DO YOU BELIEVE IN Yourself: yes Miracles: no 
Love at first sight: no 
Heaven: fuck no Santa Claus: fuck no Kiss on the first date: you kids got the order messed up Angels: fuck no