It’s 04.19 am. I can‘t describe how much i love you and that‘s the reason why i‘ll let you go. you‘re always in my heart. Maybe this is a moment where u don’t need me in your life or you just found someone who‘s just better than me, that’s „okay“. I just wanted to be happy with you and i‘m fighting with myself not to be so stupid when you‘re with me because you said that i should stop overthinking everything and make something good of this situation. I‘m really working for it, for our love and maybe someday we can settle down and be happy. I see so many good things in all of this because i’m no longer that negative bitch and i just wanna wait.. with you .. i‘m trying hard not to show you anything because i wanna protect myself for the emotional breakdown. I don’t want you to come closer.. because i fear that you hurt me like the girl before you .. maybe u don’t see the good things in all of this and that i‘m trying hard not to be so stupid and annoying.. but i do .. maybe i need to much time for everything but it will be better sometimes. Please believe in it too, just a little bit and maybe someday we can be happy too.. i‘m trying hard and someday you‘ll see it too and everything is okay. Please wait for it too.. and let me love you all day. I‘ve never found a home in one person before. So you can come back home ... i‘ll wait for you. If a part of you still wants me.. show me. Maybe with a little sign or just one word, but show me. This is a hard time for me and i need something to hold me.. maybe a sign that you still want me in your life. You can punch me in the face if this will be your sign....but please give me one.
