I just wanted this feeling to just disappear as soon as you left me hanging, but somehow I ended up stuck... stuck in this rut of everlasting purgatory of emotion. The more time goes, the more I realized how much I meant to you... it wasn't that much. Such big, profound words... but the outcome... your actions proved opposite… opposite of those words you swore meant something… those words I bite my tongue down and pressed my lips tight to not utter… but I did, for you… I did…

I typed and kept typing all these e-mails to you.. maybe 5? And nothing... I was nothing to you. I called it, I knew that it was too good to be true... I wasn't your person as I allowed you to be mine... You said it first, you said you meant it. I trusted your feelings. I trusted you. I let you in. In an instance, just like that... you left me with my heart in my hands as i had offered it... openly. Open to the elements, unprotected, all because I allowed myself to believe you would protect it.

I sit here, waiting for time to pass, waiting for time to heal and recover this heart back into my chest. It's really been a rough month... so much has gone down... I'm just waiting to hit bottom so I can start my climb back up... this foundation has so many cracks already... I'm just so tired... This is my crutch... I give it all... My results come back negative.

I need to stop lying to myself, I need to stop hoping, if you wanted me... you wouldn't have let me go so easily... you let me go so easily... I gave it all to you so easily... I'm such a fool, I keep fooling myself. I keep putting myself in this repeat cycle... I need to let you go, just as easily as you let me slip through your fingers...

I wasn't enough for you... My life story... I'm not enough for anyone... I'm just done with this... Never will I put myself out there like that again...