#buries self

A letter of appreciation. Since Milky I think it’s a good thing to thank the people around me. Some people has done this before and I think this will be my turn. I will not deactivate I just wanna thank everyone for everything. 

I have been rping for almost 5 years now? or 4? I’m not really sure. My very first muse was Paruru who was known as harukaanon and so many other urls up to @parurux and finally @parurx I made a come back because of some precious people kept telling me too. To be honest when I started rping I did not know Paruru very much so I was just going with the flow. I don’t even know how to rp and what to write or how to approach people. It just all happened. but I was glad. I met really incredible people but somehow some of them are not here anymore. 

I’d like to thank @yugo-anon @mayuyuxai @mxttsv@juri-anon @gxrara @etvrnxty​ @stvrrynight​ @inoopuccino-rp​ @naachanxgao​ @xkuu​ @sayamiru​ Some of these blogs are inactive now. I do hope that they will see this but I’d want to thank everyone for staying from the beginning up to the end. I know i forgot some people and somehow I don’t know to tag the others can someone tell Cota nee that she’s here. @cota lol and some other TMB people. of course tmb people took really good care of me @cross @emjay and my marius @amber WHY IS EVERYBODY MISSING I’M SOBBING 

Then I made a Milky! account! which is not this Milky but @mxlkii​ she’s kinda au and I was only active at some point but i met the best sayamilky pairing which is @nanvmirxkii​and @guitcrist​

Now, I’m finally here. when I first came here I WAS VERY HESITANT. So many things has changed uwu then i met @akixmanatsu​and make @nakajimx​came here. lol i’m very sorry. I am responsible for everything. and of course I met @solarxis​my current rp partner which i really really love please come back to me. Sorry for always putting pressure on i love youyouyou thanks for everything. this cutie too @jxnishi​ and this cutie @aeiovr​of course, I’d like to thank all of the ones that I recently meet even though we haven’t really talked much it’s been a pleasure for me. Please continue to take care of me and the ones who i really want to approach but i’m still very hesitant. Maybe in the future?

 @mvtsui​ // @inookays​// @tamamxri​ // @bakaleya-buddies​ // @minegishix​// @ymdxrys​ // @operasono​// @massu-gu​ // @tomomixai​​ // @ikutatomaxanon​// @xtaitai​// @spiritmuseinc​ // @kanateixrp // @yukoreh // @kireikaix// @lucyfxr //  @etherealxve // @ykvrki // @asystolica // @himexdere // @notwintails

special mention to @maiynx my ririnz!! hello my rp besty! it’s been so many years since we started rping. Time flies by nee? Please continue to support me and I’ll continue to support you with all my might. It sad that some people have left already tho and i could not even mention the other’s anymore but I hope somehow I can tell them how I appreciated their presence. 

before i forget there is also @sayaka-yamamotoshe’s not an rp blog but i love her. she watched senbatsu with me and thank you for all the long talks we have.

To everyone thank you for the memories and let’s make new memories together! It’s my first time making this don’t judge me! uwu and to the other people around me. Sorry i did not tag others cause i’m very very hesitant rn. I am not a confident being. Lolol. Gomen gomen

                              ▓ ✖ SEND [ lucille’d ]

Tobin wants her to come home, but he doesn’t understand that this place isn’t home to her anymore… Never was, really.When Morgan brings her in on the back of the horse there isn’t much they can do without Denise. But there are more than enough who know good first aid to get the bullets out and put in a few haphazard stitches.She wants to go back to her own house, but Morgan doesn’t quite trust her to be on her own. Even if she tells him she’s not going to pull the stitches out. The painkillers rob her of her appetite but the way people look at her now is enough to make her sick anyway.

Then it comes.

She can hear it from the room she shuts herself in upstairs in Morgan’s house. He’s near enough to the gate that she can see it when the convoy pulls in. Someone told her they’d gone with Maggie to Hilltop, and she was expecting another person to be coming back with them. BUT, GOD. NOT THIS MANY.Carol digs new holes into her palms with the way she clasps the rosary between them, hunched against the wall beneath the window muttering between fingers that won’t be still.She can hear them going through the stores down the street, can hear Morgan fumbling with the lock she’s placed on the door - even if for a moment she doesn’t quite believe it’s him.They stay hidden for the growling speech that gets spun from the top of another RV. A thick set man clad in leather wielding something — yes, a BASEBALL BAT.  

There’s only two thoughts in her mind:              Number one: So that’s NEGAN.              Number two: WHOSE BLOOD IS THAT.

She mumbles it to him with feverish breaths. And as soon as they’re gone Morgan leaves her side. Leaves her, now standing, staring out the window with a panicked stare contorting her features as she frantically tries to count the thin masses. Who didn’t come back. WHO DIDN’T COME BACK.

Her beads wrapped too tightly round her fist, Carol pulls a coat over her slinged arm with a dull hand as she almost trips over her own feet coming down the stairs. It’s barely been a day but it feels like she hasn’t set foot out of that room in a week. The front door stands open with Morgan visible in the middle of the street talking to Rick. Carol can’t remember a time where he’s looked this, this…                             They’re losing everything. 

When he spots her he catches the bandages and the dying look in her eyes, but the recognition flickers away into something darker. His face goes heavy as he carefully makes his way up the porch steps to her.   “ Carol — ”   Maggie has a bundle. Glenn is with her.   “ Carol, I’m… ”   Someone is getting Daryl into the infirmary. Where’s… Where’s —   “ We couldn’t stop him… ”Where is she. The realisation must be sinking into her face as he puts a hand on her shoulder. Johnny Cash. Food in the woods. Hunting. Baking. Shooting lessons.    “ I’m sorry — ”   Talking about their fathers. Talking about Ed and not lying about it. Learning all her sisters names. Feeling like they could say it all without breaking apart.  Breathing.   “ I’m sorry ”  She was proud. She was proud. She never said it, did she? Never told her…

          “ Dee… ”

She looks at him when she says it. Empty eyes and voice hollow as her name falls out for probably the last time, and Rick’s face seems to cave in on itself as his eyes drop away. Unable to look at her. Then her own eyes move, shift to the street before them. Morgan waiting on the pavement, Rick just in the corner of her vision. People hold each other and hover and move to houses and the infirmiry. Some people even smile. Glad to be home. To be safe.  Except they aren’t, are they?  And the three of them, static in the motion. Life goes on. It always has. It always will.