and THEN i had to explain how capitalism is basically a scam run by 12 billionaires, 5 tech bros, and the ghosts of colonialism. like why am i doing an unpaid ted talk in the middle of flirting. why do i have to cite sources to make you ✨question the system✨ when all i asked was "what’s your love language?"

do men not read anymore??? is critical thinking illegal now??? did we ban nuance and nobody told me??? anyway here’s me doing god’s work in the dms while fully dressed like a bratz doll and drinking my matcha.

So, I open a new post to have tumblr ask me if I want to restore annold draft. Said draft is above.

I only vaguely remember writing this, and if I’m correct, this is from the night I spent awake fretting over having “fucked up” with another dude.

I didn’t fuck up. He texted me a week later and apologized for being such an ass to me that day and that his emotions just weren’t there, but that he wanted to be sure I didn’t blame myself for us ending things.

A month down the road, and we’re on good terms, talking again, I easily found a new person before he even apologized, and my new guy has consistently stuck with me since the day we met.

My point in all of this, because as much as I tell myself when I’m not upset, I should know better when I am, that guys (people in general) can be assholes. They have bad days, things get rough, relationships end, even if nothing has gone “wrong”. But the last thing you should ever do (unless proven otherwise in particular situations) is blame yourself.

This is the 4th guy in the last 6 months I’ve fallen out with. I’m on good terms with all but 1 of them now. It’s all a part of dating, it’s all a part of life, and each one has been a lesson I needed to learn.