#bumble be errors

I think humans get a little big for their britches when we talk about being oh-so different from other animals. When we talk about how humans have intricate burial rituals and sex for pleasure and all that. About how we have complex emotions and grief and fun.

I was just viscerally reminded of the time my (transmasc) best friend’s (cis) boyfriend asked me, without any irony, which brands of soap could be used INSIDE my best friend’s mancave. [vagina.]

Putting aside the fact that he really just asked me to advise him about my best friend’s snatch -

Listen. Listen. [brings the mic real close]

THERE ARE NO SOAPS THAT ARE SAFE TO GO INSIDE YOUR GODDAMN COOTER.

They don’t exist. Summer’s Eve does not go inside, it goes on the hairy bits. Even douches shouldn’t technically go inside there, because they ruin that delicate microbiome. Don’t put soap in your vagina. It fuckin burns like hell to boot.

Turns out if you’re tired and out of breath and sleep and pain meds don’t fix that you may have spent the last like. Two years? eating just a little less iron than you actually need

She started out by wishing me a happy early birthday, confirmed my info, and ends with such a casual “happy pride month! :)”

I - The only pride flag on my person is a nonbinary keychain on my wallet.

Like granted I’m dressed like a Michigan dad in summer in jorts, a t shirt, and a baseball cap but like BRO, COME ON

Because tbh they were a BEAST satyrs were MADE to be bards and idk why it’s not one of the suggested races for them. They get proficientcy with the pan flute, they get vicious mockery as an extra cantrip, etc.

Sorrel wasn’t actually meant to be a beast, I was dm’ing and because I was brand new to it I rolled them up to help the party out with context via the bardic knowledge ability. They were my storyteller that guided the party because they wanted to start at level 5 instead of level 1 and wanted to skip the early part of the rise of tihamat campaign.

Anyways I had a co-dm that controlled the PVP sections (I made the maps and placed the minis and everything else) and because I had vicious mockery as a cantrip he asked me if I wanted to just start telling my enemies cursed shit whenever I used it or discordant whispers, the higher level version of the spell.

So Sorrel became not only one of the main damage dealers almost exclusively by telling enemies shit like “you are genetically similar to potatoes” and “your bones are always wet”, they also sort of just canonically wandered along behind the rest of the party occasionally receiving info they regularly tried to disregard like a hyperactive unsocialized Cassandra