#buffyteasers

prompt: dan goes to a bar to relax one night and an annoying woman keeps trying to hit on him. annoyed, he finally tells her he has a husband and waves his ring in her face as proof, but, little did he know, she was a fan (with a ph)

Notes: here’s buffyteasers back from the dead.  i had a shit ton of writer’s block so i decided to stroll through the phanfic prompt page and found a bunch i’d like to write, hopefully those’ll be out soon.  

I’M SO SORRY FOR CHANGING THE PROMPT.  it’s just that once i started writing for the character of maisie i felt like she was too similar to me to make her an annoying person.  also, i thank the internet for the knock knock joke in it.

-

Maisie didn’t know why she had allowed her uni friends to drag her out.  The dim lighting of the club atmosphere drew attention to the mass of people on the dance floor.  They seemed as though they were saying ‘look at us, we’re having fun and you’re just sitting there miserably’.  She pushed herself up from her spot in the corner and began to make her way to the bar.  When she saw who was sitting there she really regretted not having dressed up.

Her brown hair was tied up with a scrunchie in a high ponytail that made her seem like she was in first grade.  She was wearing a pair of black jeans and a graphic t-shirt from Hot Topic.  She wished, for once, to be more like her friends.  They were over on the dance floor, looking beautiful with their curled hair and skin tight dresses.  But they were just having fun.  Maisie was about to meet her idol.  Dan Howell.

He was sat at the bar nursing a beer and watching the dance floor.  Maisie had no drink of her own so she figured it wasn’t a bad idea to head over.  When she got there she ordered a pina coloda from the bar.  Her order was soon placed in front of her and she slid a tenner over to the bartender, mouthing ‘keep the change’.  She turned her gaze towards Dan, “Hey.”  She wished that she sounded like girls in movies do, breathy but sexy.  Instead she sounded a bit like she’d swallowed a hairball.

“Hello,” he said, leaning against the bar and staring into his drink.  Maisie hesitantly took the seat beside him.

“Uh.  Knock knock...?” she asked.

“Who’s there?” Dan asked, amused.

“Art,” she said quickly, glad that she could find a decent joke.

“Art who?” he asked, trying to figure it out himself.

“R2-D2.”

He laughed, “Ahhhh.  I get it... What’s your name?”

“I’m Maisie, uh, Maisie Alice Lewis.”

“Dan,” he responded, simply, a dimple filled smile etched on his face.

Maisie beamed at him, thrilled that she’d made at least a semi-decent impression.  “Would you, uh, would you like to dance?”

Dan’s smile faltered, “Uh, I’d prefer not to.  You seem like a lovely girl and all but I just.  Well, I’m not a very good dancer.”

Maisie’s beam fell, “Oh.  It’s okay, I understand.” She turned away to leave.

Dan grabbed her shoulder, “Really.  I would.  It’s just...”  His voice dropped down to a whisper, “I’m married.”

“OH!” she exclaimed, her gaze dropping to his ring finger where a simple golden ring rested.  “I would never try to separate you and your wife.  I’m so sorry.”

“Husband actually,” he said, cracking a smile.

Maisie looked at him in complete disbelief, her movements slowing, “Husband?”

“You’re not homophobic are you?” he asked warily.

“I.  I know who you are.  And I know who Phil is,” she said, the words coming out rushed and jumbled together.

“Oh,” Dan said, simply.

“Oh,” she responded, softer.

“I, uh, well this is a bit awkward.  But would you mind-?”  Dan didn’t get a chance to finish his sentence because Maisie’s friends had spotted her and whisked her away to the dance floor before he could.

He tried to catch her eye for the rest of the evening and she did likewise, but they were always a moment too slow.

-

song: 1 | 2 | 3  | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | BROKE THE SCALE rly good wow

url: 1 | 2 | 3  | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | BROKE THE SCALE

icon: 1 | 2 | 3  | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | BROKE THE SCALE

theme: 1 | 2 | 3  | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | BROKE THE SCALE

posts: 1 | 2 | 3  | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | BROKE THE SCALE

overall: 1 | 2 | 3  | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | BROKE THE SCALE

following: no but ily | i am now | yes of course | YES YOU’RE FLAWLESS

/tagged/fangirl!dan

Chapter Three: How Many Eyes Do You Have?

Summary: Dan didn’t mean to forget Mother’s Day. Nor did he mean to develop a crush on the adorable boy at the local flower shop. But sometimes things happen and sometimes they crash and burn. (sometimes they blossom into something beautiful -pun intended- but Dan doesn’t know that yet) Or the one where Phil is the cute flowershop boy and Dan’s been giving out way too many bouquets.

On Thursday, Dan went back to the flower shop with the guise of buying PJ flowers for his apartment.  Luckily, Chris wasn't in today so it was just Dan and Phil.  Phil was sitting there sipping a caramel macchiato that had ‘Finn’ written on it in swirly handwriting.

"Good morning, Finn."

"Why hello there..."

"Why hello there...?"

"Why hello there, Dad."

"Kinky," Dan said, raising his eyebrows as if judging Phil.

"No I'm not into that- I mean not to say it's bad.  If you're into it that's fine because you know whatever and who's to say I'd be in your bed.  I mean not like that.  This isn't working well for me.  I should probably shut up," at the end of his small speech Phil was blushing from head to toe.  Dan would be lying if he said it wasn't the most adorable sight he'd ever seen.  Dan laughed, big and loud and Phil seemed relieved.

"Anyway, how can I help you today?" Phil asked.

"I'd like to buy a friend some flowers for their apartment."

"Hmm.. I'd suggest Calla Lilies.  They look pretty and will go with pretty much any furniture and decor."

"So, if the person, hypothetically, had a giant stuffed Pikachu it would go with that?"

Phil laughed, "I dunno.  It probably would, depends on the size."

"That's what she said." Phil blinked at him and Dan could feel the blush rising on his cheeks. "Anyway, how much?"

"That'll be seven pounds."

"Thanks."

"Hey Phil..."

"Yeah?"

"I'll see you around."

-

Dan spent the next five days mentally killing himself for chickening out.  It would've been so easy to just ask him what his number was and then casually suggest a date.  But Dan was stupid and probably the biggest chicken in Manchester.  He decided that no matter what, the next time he saw Phil he would ask him for his number.

-

Asking Phil for his number turned out to be quite a challenge as the next time he saw Phil (surprisingly) was when he was delivering flowers to Louise.  He'd come over to watch Darcy as Louise was going out with Zoe.  He hadn't, however, expected Louise to have Phil as a babysitter as well.  Phil seemed equally surprised.  They both tried to convince her that she could leave just one of them but she wasn't having it.  "Phil, last time I left you alone with Darcy you tried to make pasta and ended up spilling it everywhere and setting some of it on fire.  Dan, last time I left you alone with Darcy you forgot to put the scissors in a high place.  Although I have to admit, short and choppy was a good cut for you."

Dan glared at her, hoping to make his opinion on the topic known.  Phil laughed, "Alright then.  Bye Louise.  We'll keep an eye on her.  Or three!"

"How many eyes do you have?" Dan asked, skeptically.

"Two.  And you have two.  So we have more than enough to have three.  Plus it sounds better."

Dan rolled his eyes.

"Did you know that if you roll your eyes too much they'll fall out?"

"Is that a Northern superstition or a fact?"

"Definitely fact."

"I'm sure," Dan said, stifling a laugh at Phil's solemn expression.

"Let's find the wild elusive Darcy in her natural habitat," Phil called out, loudly.  Dan could hear giggling and then the sound of tiny feet running.

"It's a game we have.  I attempt to find Darcy and she hides as she knows all the best places," Phil whispered, grinning.

Dan laughed, "Terrific."

Then they began to stalk their prey (er.. Darcy).  Phil walked slowly along the walls and Dan created the Mission Impossible music with his mouth, "Dun dun dundun dun dun dundun dun dun dundun dun dun dundun.  Duh duhduh."

Surprisingly enough it took a full twenty minutes for them to find her.  "You know. We're two adults and yet we're incapable of finding a four year old girl."

"That's kind of sad," Phil said, before standing in the middle of the room and putting his hands up. "Okay Darcy, I surrender.  You can come out now."

Darcy came out but what she didn't expect was for Dan to sneak up behind her and scoop her up.  She collapsed into a fit of giggles and when she finally found air pouted at Dan.  "You cwan't do dat.  Pil sad dat.. dat ou suwwendow."

"Uh uh uh.  He actually said that he surrendered.  Not me."

Darcy considered this for a moment before grinning, "Otay."

They then played Hide N' Seek, Tag, Freeze Tag, and Pretty Pretty Princess Dress-Up Board Game.  But alas, like all good things, it had to come to an end.  Louise soon came home and the time came for Dan and Phil to leave.

"Don't be a stranger, Phil.  I haven't seen you in forever."

"I'm sorry!" Phil said, frowning slightly. "I've just been really busy with the shop and our application."

"Well, I wish you two the best of luck, Philip."

"You two?" Dan asked, curiously.

"Me and my partner, Jim."

Dan frowned, Phil and his partner.  'Oh my god,' Dan thought.  'They're filing an adoption form and I've just been flirting with Phil.  God I'm an idiot.'

"Alright, well, I should be going now."