#bts polyamory

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Maybe Hoseok and Yoongi are at Hull beach, or outside the pack’s apartment, hiding out in the car because privacy is hard to come by in the packs apartment (not that any of this is strictly private or secret). Maybe they’re dancing somewhere along the edge of the milky way or luxuriating in Saturn and all his rings. But for all intents and purposes the world disappears outside of the car, outside of Hoseok and Yoongi.

They haven’t been together for that long. Hoseok is still getting used to the feeling of Yoongi’s crooked grin pressed against his, the feeling of Jin’s plush lips, Jimin’s scowl, the flutter of Tae's too pretty to be real eyelashes. Hoseok is still learning how he fits into the pack structure and how to handle 6 different relationships. Who likes what and where, how to say what he likes and setting small boundaries without it feeling overwhelming. It’s a good thing that they’re taking it slow, that Namjoon still asks every time he pushes.

But this- Yoongi- is overwhelming in a good way. Not scary. Never scary.

It’s only been a few months since heavy looks and shared songs became kissing in the back seat of this car and heavy glances over record store aisles and “yeah? Really?” became this constant mischief and adventure. Hoseok and Yoongi have become HoseokandYoongi, the same way that Jimin and Taehyung are JiminandTaehyung. A space between their names is too far apart.

There’s nothing scary here in the polished leather backseat, nothing beyond the fog to the windows and their clothes discarded on the floor of the car, Hoseok’s shoes, and Yoongi’s shoes with their initials doodled on either sole on the floor along with Yoongi’s jeans and Hoseok’s shirt and socks.

That motherfucker, who wears socks during a hook up? Hoseok is so angry he bites Yoongi’s lip about it. The beta makes a noise, deep and satisfied, it feels like winning, it feels like falling.

Is this a hook up or is this making love? It’s hard to decide. The key is still in the ignition and the dull blink of the anti-theft light and the moon outside are the only thing that polish the bodies smooth. Both damp to the touch and sweaty in a way that’s only pleasant if you love the other person. Skin soft in the way that it slips against your teeth as you bite down to keep from making any noise. Not that it matters, not that there’s anyone else to hear but them. Hoseok won’t give Yoongi the satisfaction.

It sort of feels like a competition, to see who can make the other unravel quickest, teeth hands, touch. All of it a symphony with two competing melodies. A moan and a curse and a reward. Yoongi lets out a shaky breath, and their next kiss has Hoseok’s mouth stretched into a smile.  

Maybe Jimin will be unhappy that the inside of his car has been defiled so, with the smell of sex and cum, the sound of moans and the scents that churn- happy. Or maybe he’ll think of it as more of a christening of sorts. A blessing in disguise when he inevitably asks for his keys tomorrow and realize that Yoongi stole them hours before, slid them off the countertop and hid them in his pocket.

Hoseok and Yoongi make a game of this often. Of stealing Jimin’s keys or Namjoon’s (rarely Seokjin’s, because Seokjin’s blue mini coop can hardly take the turns the way that Hoseok wants too and his speakers are all blown out (unfortunately their fault, Yoongi just didn’t know 1990’s German house rock could do that to a car).

Since they don’t have a car of their own between the two of them, they’re doomed to this pickpocketing of keys. It’s just a joke, no real thievery behind it- no real crime in what is freely given. Hoseok’s moans find no other home other than Yoongi’s ear. All Yoongi has to do is send Hoseok a little smile and he knows the game is on.  

Yoongi sucks another mark on Hobi's throat, and it feels so good that Hoseok’s blood just might be carbonated. Was he reaching for his shirt or the beta’s when he reached over his body? It’s hard to know where exactly this began only how it ended. A second batch of cooling release moped up with napkins, the box of not used condoms in the front seat. Here, in this car, Hoseok with his pants half on and unbuttoned, unzipped to the last inch for Yoongi to ricochet around in the very essence of him.

Yoongi is only wearing his boxers and his flannel, unbuttoned all the way to his happy trail that Hoseok nuzzled into only minutes before, pressed his nose to Yoongi’s skin in a way that made Yoongi’s hands shake when he cradled the back of his head. Fingers looping through his red hair. Yoongi’s arched back and Hoseok’s aching jaw.  

Hoseok and Yoongi know all the backroads, all the hidden corners and the places where the cops rarely hang. Little kings of their respective back-alley ways as Hoseok teases (if only he knew how honest those words where).

The backseat of Jimin’s impala is wider in the back then Namjoon’s charger although neither of them have a preference when it comes to this. Jimin’s car might be better for hookups, but Namjoon’s will always be faster and will always rattle just right when you hit 90. Yoongi got up several times halfway through (fucking, making love, making music- whatever you want to call it) to change the song. He fucked with the playlist until Hoseok was trembling and couldn’t bear it. Told him to just fuck it- he’ll listen to the whole album if it means Yoongi stays where Hoseok needs him. If he keeps that pressure, that sweet glide of wet against sensitive until they both unravel.

Now, Hoseok’s eyelashes flutter as Yoongi diligently works to leave a hickey that the whole pack will see against his throat. A Yoongi shaped bruise, blue and purple first. Then pink, and finally yellow as it fades. A hickey or a sunrise. Hoseok has maybe a dozen others on the rest of his body from everyone else.  

It’s very very hard to not want to claim a new packmate in this way (or the right way with a knot and thorough breeding) the possessive instincts caused a new submissive pup are all but a typhon for the pack alpha and pack omega to weather. It’s even harder since they’ve decided that Hoseok should be treated with restraint and delicacy. He’s a bit skittish sometimes. Liable to run away with Yoongi if anyone pushes too much, says I love you too early, or all but dooms him to guard the nest while the omega’s have their fun.  It’s a bit, overwhelming to suddenly be the new packmate, the new plaything.

Hickey’s are an easy way to sate their instincts and also reinforce one new truth. Hoseok is theirs. Hoseok is in their pack. Finally, after so many months of nearly being a wayward alpha that slipped through the cracks. Hoseok has a place where he is wanted, where he is loved, and yet this is the only mark that matters. Deep down- Hoseok knows this. Yoongi knows this. They just don’t say it.  

Until now. This is the first time Hoseok tells Yoongi what he means to him. I figured I should probably show you the first before I show you the last.

Yoongi’s teeth dig into a particularly sensitive spot, and Hoseok jumps. Yoongi laughs, and it sounds a little ragged. Hoseok clamps a hand over his throat and brings it away. He’s not bloody, which is a fucking surprise. “What are you trying to do- like fucking bite me?”

“Maybe. You’d let me.” Hoseok scoffs. Because the idea of him actually biting Hoseok and leaving a mating mark is about as likely as Jimin leaving Tae. Something like that just wouldn’t happen. It can’t. The universe would combust or something.  

Hoseok doesn’t challenge the fact, only the thought of it thought. Yoongi settles back down, both of them lying hip over hip, Hoseok curled half on top. His heart still hammers but mellows out. Being with Yoongi- making him cum, always feels so fucking good that Hoseok can hardly stand the feeling of his own pleasure. It’s too distracting.

“Do you ever wish that you could?’” Hoseok pulls back, hands symmetrical curves on Yoongi’s pectorals. “That like, beta’s could mate?” One of Yoongi’s hands circles Hoseok’s wrist, the bones there, fingertip rubbing for no reason other than to feel the healthy jut of Hoseok’s wrist.

“Maybe.” Yoongi stares through the ceiling, to the foggy smudges of stars above. The cold light of the winter stars, spring now soon. “I think it’s the belonging to someone I’d like you know? Like Jimin and Tae they’re so-” Yoongi makes a deep satisfied noise in his throat. “I never really had that, growing up- a friend who knew me you know.”

“Besides Seokjin.”

Yoongi snorts. “Seokjin’s not a friend, he’s a fucking calamity.”

Just this morning Seokjin watched Jin effortlessly convinces both Jungkook and Namjoon that cleaning up was totally something that was their idea, and that they were happy to do it. Hoseok grins. “Yeah. He’s sort of amazing.”

Yoongi hums, agreeing. “Do you believe what they say? That I really can’t give a mating bite?”

Hoseok shrugs, straddling Yoongi. Bending over him, brought in by his gravity and the coldness of the car and the promise of love and body heat. It’s an interesting question- so much of life is that. Alpha’s and omega’s, heats, and ruts. And the eventual ending to every relationship and pair. Two souls become one.

Hoseok strokes Yoongi’s cheek, not looking at him, just up at the stars. Maybe if he’d been looking- he’d have caught Yoongi’s look, eyelashes fluttering, lips bitten.

“Honestly, I think it’s probably all bullshit.” The world doesn’t fall apart outside. Hoseok’s breathing does not stop now that he’s shattered the status quo. Yoongi’s eyes are so dark- they catch every bit of Hoseok’s light and reflects back at him. Speaking so openly, so simply everything that Yoongi’s ever wanted to hear for his whole life. He shimmies, settling between Yoongi’s body and the stiff leather of the backseat. Seeking warmth just as much as he’s seeking closeness. Yoongi has to grip around his waist to keep from falling off.

“I think that if you could really belong to only one person it would like- threaten the status quo or something. Kind of like with Jimin and Tae. Or with Jungkook and Jin.” Or me and Tae, or me and Namjoon. Or any of us. Hoseok doesn’t say. If two alpha’s or two omega’s can love the way an alpha and omega can- then what use is the rest of it all? Yoongi has always been aware that his standard- the pack or nothing else, has also threatened that same status quo.

Sexuality is so hard to think about when it comes to shit like this. The pack alpha and Hoseok talk about it a lot when they’re not making out or when they’re not making out with everyone else. Kissing Joonie is still something that Hoseok is getting used to 4 months into this. Getting used to having a pack alpha and someone who tells him “love you, please be safe. I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to you.”

Hoseok still remembers the warm hopeful shock of realizing Namjoon meant it.

Neither of them thought of themselves as gay before the pack. Alpha’s and alpha’s being together…Hoseok is beginning to think that there’s a lot there that society just can’t quantify. Hoseok never thought he’d like giving up control to someone again, but Namjoon makes it so easy. It hardly feels like giving up anything at all- its almost feels like receiving.

Hoseok looks across the backseat at Yoongi.

Yoongi grins, and his teeth catch the light. Almost pearlescent. “You talk like a conspiracy theory.”

Hoseok grins. “Tell the moth man I said hi.” Yoongi pushes, and Hoseok almost ends up on the floor, hooks his fingers behind his shoulders to keep from tumbling.

There was an incident a few weeks ago that’s been on all of their minds. While it’s not a sin for a male beta and a male alpha to fuck around, and with omega’s and omega’s it fits every alpha’s wet dream, with alpha and alpha relationship, the juxtaposition of love and sin is more tenuous.

That is to say, Jimin came home with a black eye and a pair of bruised hands last Monday. He had to contend with the concern of Namjoon and the wrath of Seokjin (not an enviable position). He’d been tight lipped about what had happened and Tae had that same hollowed look as usual and no one had to wonder too hard. Was it a sneered insult in Tae's direction? Did their held hands get a dirty look? Had they been asked to leave from the restaurant after a patron made a complaint? It’s not the first time that some asshole has said something to both of them- and it won’t be the last.

It's the same alpha phobia they’ve had to deal with for their whole lives. The others don’t have to deal with it nearly as much, since it’s fine if two boy omega’s kiss or if one of them is an alpha. Jin kissing Hoseok barely rases anyone’s radar, no one ever says a single thing about who Yoongi pulls in close.

But that’s not the kind of privilege that Jimin and Tae get, or Hoseok and Namjoon, or Seokjin and Jungkook (though they’re more likely to get gears instead of insults) but if any of the alphas want to be affectionate in public- then there is always the risk of it going south. It doesn’t happen all that regularly, because their area of the country is generally pretty tolerant. People are just a whole lot less likely to say anything because Namjoon looks like the type to punch their teeth out and Jimin actually is. Jimin too if paired with any of the others- is feminine and pretty enough to look like an omega.

Until they get a whiff of him that is. Jimin’s scent might be sweet, but it still reeks of alpha.

Jimin and Tae look different together. Hoseok can’t put his finger on it but when Jimin and Tae stand together, they look like dandelions pushing up through concrete, like a butterfly in winter. Something beautiful, but something other. They draw attention without meaning too. It doesn’t matter how mutely Tae dresses or how far apart they stand. People can smell the queerness on them from a mile away.  

Yoongi and Jin talk about it sometimes (Yoongi says they talked about it more when they just got together). Debating whether they were the target of random acts of hatred because they’re queer or if it’s because Jimin’s brain doesn’t work the way a normal person’s does and Tae is kind of hopelessly invested in every lovely thing that exists in the world. That kind of innocence and earnestness isn’t something that society lets live long. They’ve decided it’s a toss-up really. There’s no reason to beat a dead horse into the ground, let alone one that won’t drink where it’s led.

It won’t make either of them more accepted. And it doesn’t fucking matter. Jimin and Tae have everything they need inside the safe four walls and four rooms of the apartment. Just like all the others.

Hoseok considers Yoongi’s words, voice hushed with the reverence of it. “Yeah, it’s kind of ridiculous how on the same page they are.” Neither of them says that it sucks that they can’t be in love and be seen too. Maybe it doesn’t matter to them the same way it used too. Jimin hasn’t gone to church in years- and a lot of the alpha/alpha phobia in the world comes from there. Tae never will set foot in hallowed ground again.

“Or Jin and Namjoon.”

“I’m not sure Jin and Namjoon are the same,” Hoseok smiles, he’s only recently gotten used to truly teasing Namjoon and Jin the way the rest of them do. It makes Yoongi feel light every time he does it. “I think love is just something Jin subjects him too.”

“Oh, but he fucking loves it,” beside them, their phones light up with texts from the pack alpha. His ears must be itching. “Don’t ever let Namjoon forget he came in 5 seconds flat the first time they ever hooked up” Hoseok chokes and Yoongi smiles. “I was literally on the other side of the bed, they made me watch and listen, can you believe their audacity?”

“5 seconds huh? You think it would take me that long?”

“6 maybe, 10 if you don’t smile.”

Hoseok shoves him back this time. Blushing furiously. “Shut up.” On the car seat in front, Hoseok’s phone lights up with a text from their pack alpha.

King Joonie: 12:41: If you guys are drag racing again there will be hell to pay. I’m going to give you one hour to come home.

King Joonie: 12:41: Don’t make me sick Jimin on you.

Hoseok and Namjoon don’t do more than kiss and nip, bite, and wrestle. As far as alpha flirting goes- Hoseok is woefully inexperienced. He knows the whole pack is being careful with him, mindful of where his too heavy heart and bruised brain is still healing. Everyone in the pack is a good teacher. Jimin had even given him a thumbs up at the hickey on the pack alpha’s neck, Tae even flashed a quick “nice” in his direction.

Alpha’s are all a little obsessed with the neck thing, it comes down to the mating. Marks probably. To mark someone there, to put lips to where teeth could sink through tendon- is such an intimate thing. It goes against every instinct to allow someone at your throat as an alpha- but going against instincts can feel very very good Hoseok is learning. How to bow and bend and submit in a way he’d never thought he’d enjoy.

Such is the case of every alpha that finds themselves in a pack but not pack alpha. Hoseok doesn’t often let himself think of the time before when he was pack alpha- since meeting Namjoon- he’s not sure he even was pack alpha. At least not in the same way that Namjoon is.

Shifting below Yoongi, Hoseok decides that he very much enjoys his position.

Yoongi can feel Namjoon’s ire from here, but Hoseok knows better than the rest of them that he likes to feel hassled sometimes, that he needs a reason to settle and corral his pack. Call it a herding instinct- but it makes Namjoon feel important and needed when they act out like this. It’s all a game. Everything in the pack is a bit of push and a lot of pull.

Hoseok sits up. Yoongi can hardly see him, startled across his lap. Shirt pulling away from his collarbones in the grey light of the quarter moon.

“You could belong to me you know. If you wanted too. Mating bite or not.”

“Hoseokie-”

“I mean it, we don’t have to get rings or anything, or like- bite each other. I’m not trying to like- fuck up your soul or anything.” He looks too young and honest for words like this, straddling Yoongi’s lap. But Yoongi knows he’s anything but. “We can just promise and it will still mean just as much.”

They can’t, and it won’t. Yoongi knows this and yet, can’t take his eyes off of Hobi. The pack has their primary partners, Jimin and Tae, Namjoon, and Jin.

Yoongi noticed that when Hoseok first came to stay, that he’d always look at Jungkook a little longer than the others and always linger with him just a little bit. There are some things that they still do together like their runs in the morning. where Hoseok looks after him and their one-on-one little special time (like when Yoongi and Jin cook together, or when Jimin stays up to talk to Namjoon, or when Jin decides that he wants Tae to read to him while he naps. like this- Yoongi and Hoseok’s car time that is sometimes Jimin and Yoongi’s car time too).

Yoongi knows without Hoseok saying it that he’d been a little disappointed to learn that Jungkook had no intention of ever having a mate. His illness being one reason and his personality the other. Why doom someone to a dead mating mark you know? Jungkook’s life expectancy has never been long and he’s not cruel.

The youngest omega doesn’t like to think of himself as any more in love with any of them then he is the other. While Jimin will always love Tae a bit more than he loves the others, and Namjoon and Jin will always be clandestine, Jungkook belongs to no one and therefore everyone.

Yoongi will never belong to anyone either, Yoongi will always be wanted by everyone but never have an anchor point.

Yoongi brings his hand up to Hoseok’s mouth. Smile playing on the edge of it. Thumb pinning in one of Hoseok’s dimples. And Hoseok can tell thinks thinks he’s joking. Like a kid believing in shooting stars and Santa clause, Hoseok keeps talking, rambling. “I mean it, we don’t have to even tell the others, we can just agree to belong to each other, right? Like that’s a thing we could do if we wanted too.” Hoseok isn’t able to keep from smiling. Rambling now.

“Just like that? Or should we write up fucking rules or something?”

“Okay- I get to choose the playlist, you get to listen.”

“Oh bullshit-”

“-We can go song for song then.” Yoongi smiles at the ceiling, quirking his eyebrows at Hoseok’s airy expression, smile slack, eyes fucked a little because Yoongi has always been a little too good in bed. He thanks Seokjin for that.

Yoongi keeps his hand in Hoseok’s auburn hair pulling him back down. “Lie down before you float through the ceiling.”

“I’m not high. You know I don’t get high anymore.” Hoseok has been completely drug free since college, since them. He wobbles and wants sometimes, but that’s the same as any addiction. (Yoongi included).

“I know just still-”

“No bite? You mean it.”

“No bite. I always mean it.” And Hoseok can’t help but think, that they wouldn’t need it anyways. Hoseok already belongs to Yoongi in every way that matters.

Hoseok curls up on Yoongi’s shoulder, their phones screen side down, the fog receding breath by breath, and the stars aren’t just foggy blobs anymore, but real pinpricks of light.

“Hey Yoongi?”

“Yeah.”

“You know we’d love you even if you weren’t a beta, right? Like that doesn’t matter to us. That’s not why we want you here.”

“I know” but there’s an edge to Yoongi’s voice, a sadness to his eyes when Hoseok turns and looks. Hoseok can tell he doesn’t really believe him and can’t stand it. He tries to sit up, but Yoongi just keeps him pressed to his chest with a strong hand around his back. Yoongi’s body heat is too delicious to pull away from. “I know alright. I know. I just need to hear it sometimes.”

“You let me know when you need me to say it and I will.”

“Alright. Fucking god.” The silence settles, and Yoongi’s eyes fluttered close. With one arm around Hoseok’s back and the other across his waist, nestled all close. Yoongi’s chest rises, and Hoseok feels like he’s a ship at sea. Yoongi thinks there isn’t a person on this earth that would take him away from this spot at this moment. Yoongi thinks that he’d enjoy being Hoseok’s forever very very much.  But even in that moment, guilt turning in his stomach, Yoongi cannot shake the feeling that all of this, is bound to end.

“Yoongi?”

“Yeah?”

“Can you change the song?”

“Oh, my fucking god-”

Outside, the stars continue to twinkle. Hoseok thinks that consequences or not, a bite from Yoongi would be probably be worth it. Would a too strong mating mark really be that big of a deal? He thinks as Yoongi reaches into the front seat to fuck with the radio. Flipping song to song, quicker than he can hear the first note of every song.

Hoseok closes his eyes and breathes.

~-~

(The Pack, Now)

When the door closes and Yoongi is free of their apartment, there is only one sentence on the pack alpha’s tongue.

His pack mates will make excuses for Namjoon’s behavior later, as you often make excuses for someone you love for speaking out of turn. They’ll say that he was tired from staying up the night before and that work stress was getting to him. That he’d accidentally left a few of his brain cells back at the operating table.

Anything to wish away what he says as a moment of stupidity.

As he hears the beta shuffle off down the hallway Namjoon slumps against the doorframe exhausted. But he’s smiling from ear to ear, not realizing what he’s saying when he turns to his pack and speaks from his heart. It’s a fault of his or maybe a virtue. You can decide.

Honest Namjoon. Honest pack alpha. Namjoon has always been incredibly transparent with his emotions, why wonder what he’s thinking when you can just ask and be sure he’s telling the truth? For what it’s worth, Namjoon is the only person in this story who will never verbally lie.

But that’s not the only kind of deception a person can partake in.

“So, what I’m guessing is that his omega is probably going to be a part of our pack one day? Right?”

Just like with Jimin’s interjection the previous night, this is met with more than a few shouts and squawks of indignation. Tae takes a book of his from the table and hits him (albeit gently) on the arm. Above all others- Jin’s scathing glare actually burns, and Namjoon feels himself grow like sheepish.

Namjoon tries to get it under control. “I mean like, we’re probably going to have to get used to her right? Like platonically.”

Jin bristles, hair standing on end. Absolutely taking none of Namjoon’s bullshit. “I can’t believe you-”

Namjoon takes a shaky step forward, smile faltering as he realizes Jin isn’t quite on the same page as he is. “Jinnie, Yoongi’s back- he really came back-” Hoseok scoffs, and Namjoon and Jin look at him- Hoseok abruptly looks away, standing from the table and pushing his chair in with a too hard push that makes the chair squeak horribly against the floor.

“Yeah, and his freeloader literally shoved Jin hyung today.” Namjoon recoils at the venom in Hoseok’s voice. Staring off and away because Hoseok cannot look at people when he’s angry. Even Jimin looks up at Hobi abruptly.

Jin finds himself waving Hoseok off, making a flippant hand movement so that the others don’t react. “It was mostly justified.” He admits. Glaring back at Namjoon knowingly who shuffles closer like a puppy whose been kicked. Jin doesn’t give him the satisfaction of pushing him away when his hands tantalizing the pack omega’s waist. “I think we all know I can get out of hand.”

“And yet it’s wrong if I do?” It’s neither purely a teasing tone or a real question that comes from Namjoon’s mouth, fingers inching down Jin’s waist. It’s tense and yet the general mood in the room is lightyears lighter compared to what it was a day or even a week ago. There is a brightness there, and Namjoon won’t pretend it’s from anything other than Yoongi. Hoseok’s hands are so tight on the back of the chair that his knuckles are white. White noise buzzing in his ear.

“Out of hand is applied to things like jokes that land wrong or overactions, Not implying that strangers will one day be a part of my pack.”

Namjoon hums, and continues to let his hand inch south ward. Jin jumps, and across the room Tae is leaning close to Jimin, something of a smile on his face but the true contents of his look (either grin or grimace) hid by Jimin’s ruffled blonde hair. Hoseok shuts off the big light and Jungkook tries to catch his gaze from the table but Hoseok refuses it.

When he scratches his tummy, he yanks his shirt up just a little. Jin’s eyes follow it. His eyes are shadowed, darker. “Hoseokie-”

His eyes loose that edge when he turns to Jin. “It’s alright. I’m alright.” Jin laces his fingers with Hoseok and steps away.

“Namjoon don’t say that shit if you don’t fucking mean it, you set my pups on edge when you talk like that.”

Namjoon splutters, but Jungkook steps up beside Jin and Hoseok too. “Yeah, you’re clearly delirious from beta pheromones, we’re going to bed.”

Jin drags Hoseok off with a hand around his wrist, and an arm around Jungkook’s wrist. pulling the other omega away from the alpha (who obviously doesn’t understand the necessary evil of proper timing). He thinks he hears something that sounds suspiciously like “not a brain cell in that big head of his” but Namjoon can’t be sure. 

Taehyung grips Namjoon’s shoulders, fingers drumming in a rhythm along his shoulders. Giving him a little shake, playful. Although Jimin shakes his head and rolls his eyes at Namjoon’s words nothing can dim Namjoon’s smile. The glow will last for a good few hours more. The whole year really. For the first time in a long time, Namjoon is full of hope.  

“You need to sleep,” Taehyung says.

“I feel like I’m already dreaming.”

 Taehyung hums, eyelashes fluttering, but he doesn’t disagree. Jimin taps his fingers on the table. Looking at them with an unreadable expression on his face, watching as Taehyung gets on his tippy toes to kiss Namjoon’s temple.

They can feel Jimin’s eyes on them. Unlike Hoseok- Jimin never once looks away.

~-~

Tae and Jimin linger in the bathroom, as they almost always do, so used to getting ready for bed together that they move as one. Each of them pee once before flushing, Tae doses out toothpaste to his and Jimin’s brushes, yellow and green. Tae zips up Jimin’s fly. Tae spits, Jimin spits, and then they rinse out the bowl. Not knocking elbows because Tae is just as aware of Jimin as he is of his own body. Checking the nape of Jimin’s neck to make sure that Jin remembered to cut out the tag of this shirt.

“Do you want to go over there again tomorrow?” Tae asks, making eye contact with Jimin in the mirror. “For Jungkook?” Tae adds, eyes wide and unblinking. Tae watches his expression carefully, because Jimin is always the type to do things for his packmates and not necessarily because he wants too. You have to watch him carefully to tell.

Jimin taps his toothbrush three times against the sink. And for the first time- he’s not thinking of any packmate when he replies.

“Yeah, I think I do.”

~-~

Namjoon isn’t lying.  

The integration of you and Yoongi back into Namjoon’s pack will be a slow and arduous one if it happens at all. There is a lot of bad blood, a lot of hurt on both sides. Which is as understandable as it is a shame. It would be ideal if they could strike some balance as most pack’s do with a beta. Amazing if they could just move to a house down the street or if Yoongi could just have the occasional sleepover at the apartment. Splitting time between the two groups. That’s how most packs would function in a situation like this.

But you and Yoongi cannot function that way. Namjoon just doesn’t understand the why behind that yet. But don’t worry. One day, he certainly will.

But Namjoon isn't lying, he didn't mean it that way. Swears.

He whispers the words to Jimin again after everyone’s gone to bed. begging to be believed. Jin noticeably gives him the cold shoulder on the other side of the nest, wrapped tight with Hobi a barrier between him and Namjoon (and the future they can all feel coming). Jungkook’s dead to the world, star fished and snoring softly in the middle of the bed, occupying the most space. 6 people in one bed never feels quite comfortable. But the pack make due with two queen beds pushed up against each other and a specially designed mattress topper to make it feel like a California king.

Maybe next paycheck. Namjoon always promises himself that, but somehow- the other bills always seem to mount.

Namjoon doesn’t mind, he knows Jin will get over what Namjoon said eventually. Forgiveness runs pretty freely between both of them, even more between everyone in the pack. They’ve always been the pack alpha and pack omega. They run this show, and just because they disagree this once doesn’t mean anything. 

Taehyung spoons Jimin, and the two of them watch their alpha as he speaks his words, hushed, to not wake up the others. It’s at times like this that Namjoon remembers he’s only the leader of their pack by name, by choice. These people around him, his family. Who have chosen him just as much as he chooses them.

“You’ve met her, do you think she’ll cause issues?”

“No.” Jimin says, although Namjoon can tell he’s not being completely honest.

“We’re already a pack of 7, what’s one more?” Namjoon’s heart always has room for one more. Jimin pushes himself up from the bed, dark boxers shifting and pulling taught. Namjoon has had several years to get used to Jimin. To get used to the spark of attraction that he never thought he could feel for another alpha. But Namjoon still has to swallow it back sometimes.

“Joonie, you can’t talk like that flippantly.”

Namjoon’s elbows rest on his knees, maybe its insomnia that keeps him awake, maybe it’s the fact that Namjoon hardly gets to spend an hour awake with the pack a day if he’s lucky- that keeps him from going to sleep so easily. Namjoon and Jimin often stay up late just to get a few more minutes like this.

“If it gets us Yoongi, I’m not sure any of us should care. For Jungkook’s sake.” Across the nest, Jungkook breathes, unaware he’s being discussed, his pretty dark hair curling over his forehead, long eyelashes silhouetted against his skin. “It doesn’t need to be romantic, that wasn’t what I was implying.”

Jimin splays his fingers, pretty in the darkness. Pale skin gleaming in the moonlight. “See, that’s why Jin hyung got mad, I think Jinnie hyung was just upset that you didn’t like- wait to ask hyung. Adding a person to a pack this large isn’t straightforward, it takes time,” they all know that- it takes years upon years and years really. Courting and dates and discussions of boundaries. It’s not just some casual thing you can drop into conversation, let alone before you meet them.

As much as Jimin is want to admit it, Namjoon is acting a bit too much like the classic pack alpha. Any packmate will do so long as they’re an omega.

It’s not just that. Namjoon glances at where Hoseok is curled. And can’t help but think- It happened so easily the last time, and also by Yoongi’s choice.  

Namjoon wants Yoongi back into their lives the same way he was, he wants it so bad it’s keeping him up. Imagining them living together and cohabitating and all of that domestic bliss again. It would be better for all of them. For Jungkook’s seizures, for the coldness of Jin across the bed. for Hobi who needs Yoongi like a plant needs water.

He’s so dark of a silhouette that Namjoon can only see the curl of his hair over his ear, not his open eyes staring blankly into the darkness, not his teeth worrying away at his lower lip wondering if he should let the others know he’s listening in. 

Hoseok wishes he was anywhere but there really.

One of the worst parts of love is that sometimes you care so much for a person that you become blind to what you yourself want. Namjoon wonders if he wants this because he wants it- or if he wants it for his pack. Namjoon is willing to do anything to get Yoongi back, including accept a stranger.

She’s an omega, how dangerous could she really be?

Jimin yawns, snuggling deeper into Taehyung’s arms. He looks unselfconscious at his smallness next to Tae. Jimin has always loved being the little spoon. Both of them are oblivious to the inner turmoil of their pack alpha.

“And besides, we don’t even know her yet.”

“You’ve seen her the most out of any of us. What’s your opinion of her? Could she be dangerous?" 

That’s more like it. A pack alpha should at the very least be checking if a new person is safe for his pack mates to be around. Even if it makes Jimin stiffen a little, because in all reality- it feels more like they’re the ones who are unsafe for you and Yoongi. Just like the first time Jimin met you, the idea that you might be a threat is the silliest of them all.

"She’s-” Jimin breaks off, sighs, and folds his arms behind his head. Thinking of Tae at 6, at 13, then at 17 when they were kicked out of their respective houses. Thinks of the way he had looked at him when they first realized that it was just the two of them against the world, and how you’d looked at Yoongi an awful lot like that. Jimin can’t help but feel some sense of camaraderie with you. An unwilling sense of understanding.

Even if you are a rich fucker who can afford a house like that.

“She’s…damaged. She had a mating mark but like a dead one.”

Namjoon shoots up into a sitting position, grabbing Jimin by the waist and moving him closer. Jostling both Jungkook who whines softly, smacking his lips and turning over into Jin’s warmth. His tone scathing in the darkness. “What? You didn’t mention that. Jin didn’t say anything either!”

“Ah, I’m not sure he noticed? There was kind of a lot going on.”

Yoongi and his projects. Across the bed, Hoseok shifts just imperceptibly. Blinking rapidly at the new information. But there's nothing that either of them can say. Mating marks are kind of all in. You get what you get and you don't get upset.

Namjoon doesn’t say anything. Opens and closes his mouth several times. Jimin for the life of him cannot imagine what he’s thinking. If it’s curiosity or surprise that has him speechless. People with dead mating marks usually don't survive their predicament for long and if Yoongi's...attached himself to one in some way the risks to his mental well being far outweigh any physical risks.

He’s silent for long enough that Jimin tries to get him to sit back down on the bed with a hand on his hip. Namjoon lets him hook an elbow around his waist. When Namjoon looks down at Jimin, his stomach does a little delighted twist and Namjoon knows it has nothing to do with the idea of a dead mating mark and everything to do with one of his usually dominant alphas tilting his head to the side to bear his throat.  

“Do you think that changes things?”

Namjoon sits back on the edge of the bed, has one hand in another. Takes a second before finally confessing. “I’m not sure. I don’t know.” Jimin sighs, trailing his nose up and down the back of Namjoon’s neck.

Namjoon might actually not be all knowing, but Jimin cannot remember Namjoon actually ever confessing it before. An inert bomb is still a bomb. And a gun without a bullet in the cartage is still a gun. Jimin’s not sure what difference a dead mating mark makes. It certainly takes any anger out of their back sails. But Namjoon’s silence is still unnerving. Almost more unnerving than hearing you speak today.

Jimin pulls at Namjoon’s shoulder, making him lie back down. His hand stays there on his neck and his pulse tips higher. Jimin looks very very pretty in the shadows leaning over Namjoon’s body to whisper. Mindful of their other sleeping packmates around them. Namjoon feels so soft and full that he thinks he might grow fat on this nameless feeling. The flutter of Jimin’s eyelashes against his cheek and the way his lips wrap around words so beautiful it’s quite literally breathtaking.  

“She seemed really scared of something hyung, just like- in general. I don’t know what about but-” if there is any sentence that can immediately light a reaction in an alpha’s heart- it’s the idea of an omega feeling unsafe. Namjoon hums, and Jimin’s eyes sharpen as does his tone. “Don’t.”

But Namjoon’s curiosity is already perked, as is his good nature. Jimin knows how he feels. Lessons written in Namjoon’s childhood. A house full of shouting, a house where omega’s we’re meant to cower, where fear meant respect and a bowed head was owed and not earned. Namjoon is concerned because of experience, not the principle.

There is nothing quite like a scared omega to peek an alpha’s interest.

“I’m not.” Jimin eyes him like he doesn’t quite believe him. Jimin can tell he's trying, but his scent- usual mellow coffee, is fluffing sweeter. curious.

It is the duty of a pack alpha, to make all omega’s and alpha’s feel safe in their presence. To guide and to protect. To provide and prove.

Namjoon lies in bed, turning over everything again and again, trying to find a solution that inevitably evades him.

They sleep after that, say there I love you’s like a period at the end of a sentence to a difficult day. Jimin settles back down. Both him and Namjoon between the rest of the pack and the door. Namjoon’s hand smooths up and down Jimin’s back until his breath evens out.

A few minutes later Hoseok gets up from the nest and goes to the bathroom. He does not return until morning.

~-~

(20 years prior, Jimin)

The sun is burning much too hot for the end of September- although the children in the schoolyard would never think to comment on it. Too busy chasing after kickballs like small brightly color planets and shouting ‘tag you’re it!” as loud as they can. Every inch of happiness accompanied by little feet pattering across the parking lot like the first fallen leaves of autumn. The cold hasn’t hit them yet. 

The woods wait at the edge of the playground, an impenetrable fortress of green. Full of spiky bushes and icky things. Snakes and piles and piles of kudzu vine. Big deer with velvet ankles come bloody, and the errant laugh of a coyote in the distance. Here, where civilization is butted right up against the edge of the wilderness, safety is carefully cultivated within chain link fences.

Anything to keep the fun in and the fear out.

Two children sit on the swings apart from all the rest. The chains are rusty and squeaky but no less loved. Jimin loves to watch the forest move. He loves to watch the trees blur like faraway monsters dancing. Lifting their silvery leaves to the wind and showing their undersides, almost like dancing. It will only be a few short weeks until they crumble into October yellow. And Jimin hates it every year, wishes the green would stay all year round.

Tae knows Jimin likes it so that’s where they always sit, side by side like this at recess.

Tae is pretty sure that there are dragons in the woods. Elusive. With scales the same color as the leaves. They must be good at blending in, because 6-year-old Tae always comes up empty handed. Sometimes, when no one is looking, Tae and Jimin slip through a hole in the chain link fence and go looking for monsters. Most of the time they come up empty handed.

Most of the time.

For today however, Jimin smiles down at his light-up shoes as he listens to Tae talk. Tae can talk and talk for hours, on the buss, on the swings, in the hallway or in class until the teacher yells at him to stop. Even then Jimin can see the words bubbling up through him all the way through his body, his foot and leg moving restlessly. It’s okay though, because Tae does enough talking for the both of them. And around Tae, Jimin can be as quiet as he wants and no one complains.

Jimin likes hearing Tae talk, there is very little about 6-year-old Taehyung that 6-year-old Jimin doesn’t like.

Today, Jimin uses the opportunity of Tae talking to study him as he often does. Jimin can’t get enough of it. Tae looks handsome as usual in his Pokémon tee-shirt. His green shoelaces, his band aids criss crossing his knees. His chubby cheeks already belying the beauty that he’ll have when he’s older. Jimin can see it, can feel the pitter-patter of his heart in response to it.

He might not know what love is yet, but he’s learning.

Tae sways the way that trees do at a distance, his movements all graceful. He knows Tae will be beautiful when he’s older the same way he knows his parents are going to get divorced one day; his mother spends hours in the bathroom, plying and stretching and picking at the barely forming wrinkles on her face.

Aphrodite has a way of letting you know when she’s there, whether in admiration or in indifference.

Tae has told Jimin the Greek myths time and time again; he likes the tale of Achilles the best. But Jimin can’t read yet so Tae reads to him, Jimin always asks to hear the tale of Orpheus because that’s Tae’s favorite.

Jimin and Taehyung aren’t JiminandTaehyung yet, they won’t be for a few years more. But for now, Jimin watches Tae talk about his most recent favorite book. Cupids touch in every little blink of his long dark eyelashes against his sandy cheek.

“And then he just like- pulled him from the dragon’s mouth right before it could snap shut. It was kind of gross to read but I promise Minnie it was so romantic!” 

Tae says it like it’s quite possibly the best thing. Like he’s just said, “I’ve won the lottery” or “I’ve saved the last fruit snack package for you” or, “my mom and your mom said we can move into the same room, we spend so much time with each other anyway, why should we dream in separate places when you are my dream?”

(Although the first is equally as unlikely as the last. Jimin and Taehyung’s parents continue to be a thorn in their sides and only let them have sleepovers twice a week during the school year.)

Even at this age, Jimin knows what Tae likes most. And it’s romance.

“You like reading a lot of books like that” Jimin comments, “books where the alpha’s a boy and the omega’s a boy.” Tae’s eyes are mini smiles when he glances up, drawing what looks to be a dragon’s tooth in the dirt with the edge of his shoe. An arc back and forth.

Back and forth.

“Really?”

Jimin doesn’t say anything, doesn’t say what he wants, struggling with his words the same way he always does (the same way that has his teachers exchanging pitying glances.)

“Do you like boys?” he blurts, and when Tae looks up, his cheeks are their normal color, not ruddy or pink like cupid might have kissed his skin. Not like Jimin who feels his cheeks flaming. “-Because I was thinking the other day when you asked me if I had a crush on any of the girls in class, and I think I like boys. Like omega boys or alpha boys just- boys.”

“Oh,” Tae says. “that’s okay, I think I like boys too.”

“If you present as an omega, I’ll protect you like a dragon.”

“You’re already a dragon.”

Jimin grins, pumps his legs a bit faster. “Wanna see me fly!?” Jimin hurls himself. Let’s go. Falls through the air, light up shoes flashing like fire.

Pups often talk about sexuality this way; primary gender doesn’t matter as much until puberty hits and secondary sex presentation takes place. If you’re not a beta, no one knows really what to do with you until then if you’re a boy. Girls have it harder, weak until they’re not. Omega’s until they’re alpha’s. It’s a good thing that neither of them are girls, because growing a dick at 16 would be quite the traumatic event.

But both of them being boys, does cause a bit of a grey area. A bit of a what if. Because Taehyung and Jimin are only doomed if both of them present as alpha’s or if both of them present as omega’s. They need to present as one of each.  

Taehyung’s mind dips, pulse hammering like the bounce of a round kickball. Racing thoughts thinking thoughts of ‘he doesn’t like girls. But that’s okay because Taehyung can be a boy if Jimin wants a boy.’ and Jimin’s mind gathers up thoughts of omega Tae and alpha Jimin and casts them in a Greek myth. Tae the omega in a pretty purple skirt- back when boy omegas didn’t dress like boys yet. And Jimin hums, satisfied by his daydream.

Later that night when his mother makes him pray (because Jimin’s mother is always making him do that) Jimin asks very very sincerely, as honestly as a 6-year-old can muster.

He perches with his elbows buried deep in his lightning McQueen bedspread and whispers his small hopes to the heavens above. Starts that shine in all their coldness and give away nothing easy to the boy below.

“Dear god. I’ve been thinking; I’ve got in mind some improvements you could make:

If you have a choice make me an alpha and Taetae an omega. Whatever you do, don’t make us the same please.” Even at six years old, Jimin is very polite when he wants to be. “I want to have him with me for a long long time, and they’ll separate us if we’re the same. So please- if you do exist- make us different.”

There wasn’t anything divine in that little bedroom, nothing to hear Jimin’s wish. The wishes of children often go unanswered.

But I guess in a wicked way, God insisted.

~-~

Notes:

Slowly incorporating more location based data for bily reminding you guys that it takes place in an actual town that actually exists. As well as the pack’s cars you know like I have to have models and years picked out. Which is tough because I really don’t want to date bily but it feels inevitable in the second version. 

I felt really strongly reading back bily that we needed to see yoongi and hoseok before the m/c and I feel like the scene at the beginning adds context to their relationship in a necessary way, I hope it feels like it matters to you guys as much as I want it to matter to me. 

Lowkey love yoongi calling seokjin a calamity, like I just know he’d kick his feet and bite his lip if he heard yoongi say that. I think it speaks to the context of their relationship. 

Also the part where hoseok talks about doing drugs might eventually be taken out (in my mind it was mostly X because that is by far the worst drug i’ve ever tried, like dang out of all the highs i've had that was the one that was the least worth it)

Thinking about namjoona and jimin’s relationship in bily and how they understand each other as alpha’s and how they talk about what it’s like to be alpha’s together and love their pack completely like- it’s so cute? They’re being so cute together even if they’re talking about a lot of things. Also thinking of how the pack don’t really understand each other through these chapters but its very clear how much they’re trying to understand each other and how love is effort and that’s the kind of thing I’m trying to show with bily. 

I also changed the way that the scenes about jimin and tae fit, I think that this is the right place to show their flashback to them being 6 but I’m not sure and im very open to suggestions if it feels like this doesn’t work. 

The line at the very end of “in a wicked way god insisted” is probably one of my favorite lines of the whole series. i wonder if it looses it’s power being here vs right before tae comes out to the pack, but you can be the judge of that. I’ve been thinking a lot about the pace of bily and the fact that the second ‘book’ in a sense, will focus on tae and…lots of sex and smutt. And I feel like- I need to introduce it here vs later because then it won’t make sense. But then I think that maybe there’s only so much you can do in a single book. 

I know it’s like- a shame when writers/authors put too much of themselves into stories, especially in published works- but tae is so me when I was a kid, when I tell you all I wanted to do was talk about stories with people and I didn’t care who I talked to I just wanted to talk. 

Crumble 

@purpleyoonn

BTS x Reader, polyamory, weight issues / eating disorder, breeding kink

You had decided to make a change, not realizing your men would notice. The consequences bring to light your own insecurities, with which the boys decide it’s time you realize how precious you are to them.

Ethereal 

@purpleyoonn

BTS x Reader, mafia au, dragon BTS, human Reader, polyamory

After leaving your home in need of a fresh start, you open a bookstore with the hopes that the words you read could bring you solace. You never realized that the books you loved would bring you home instead.

A Bond Made of Love

@purpleyoonn

BTS x Reader, idol au, hybrid Reader, polyamory

Your last owner had almost beaten you to death, leaving you at the very shelter he had adopted you from. This time, two tall men walk in, immediately drawn to you as you rested in your small cage. You couldn’t help but become attached, just hoping you wouldn’t be abandoned once again by the idols you grow to love.

Boyfriend for Hire 

@remedyx

BTS x Reader, contract dating to real dating, father issues

Unsatisfied with your life was an understatement. Being under the thumb of your father can have that effect. He wanted someone capable of running the company, but you wanted to pursue your passion. Countless unwanted blind dates and the threat of losing your freedom drives you to seek help from a group of individuals you'd least expected. 

Masked Miracles 

@remedyx

BTS x Reader, hybrid au, hybrid trafficking, undercover police officer Reader, mating, Yoongi centered

It wasn't supposed to happen this way. A quick in and out. Infiltrate and bring down a hybrid trafficking ring. Saving lives while we're at it. But things hardly ever go to plan. And being locked in with seven hybrids that meant more to me than victims forced into a life they didn't deserve was definitely not according to the plan. 

Lessons

@trivia-yandere

Jungkook x Reader x Namjoon, Reader is Namjoon’s girlfriend, sensory deprivation

when jungkook asks namjoon for advice on oral sex, he wasn't expecting his hyung to physically show him - you being on the receiving end of it. 

Your soulmark showed up when you were twelve; you even remember the exact moment. You were in your advanced world history course, learning about the fall of the Ottoman Empire and the specific impact it had on North Africa when you felt the immense burning on your left forearm, directly under your palm over your main artery. 

You remember crying out in pain, a sob breaking past your lips as you fall back into your chair, toppling back and hitting your head on the ground. You remember your classmates trying to help you, but your teacher’s words held everyone back. 

“It’s the soul burn initiating.” You remember freezing, despite the burning pain, and moving your hand away from your forearm, only for a line of foreign letters to stare back at you, blacker than the night sky without stars shining down.

The intensity with which you stared at your soulmark was nothing compared to the loneliness you began to feel as more than one line of letters began to appear, the burning intensifying until you promptly fainted from the pain. 

Then you woke up in the hospital, hooked up to fluids and receiving a visit from a Soul Specialist who specialized in multiple soul bonds. She was there to comfort you, to give you pamphlets and tell you how they identified your soulmarks to be Korean, that you were likely the youngest, given the intensity of the soul burn you felt when your marks came in. 

You were a rarity, having multiple bonds. Three bonds were an uncommon occurrence, but having seven was a one-in-a-million statistic. Your mom was handed a card with her number on it, in case you felt anymore burning in your marks, or if one of them disappeared, which you wouldn’t know the significance of until you were nearly 16. 

You remember the looks of disbelief changing to looks of disgust as you grew older. The way some family members would tell you that you didn’t deserve that many people to love you. That you weren’t important enough for it. And you remember the way your mother would defend you despite everything. 

And you remember how she was the one to push you to find your soulbonds when you turned eighteen, fresh out of high school from your small little mountain town. It would take you another almost six years before you were able to meet them, the burning in your arm leading you to them; the black, slowly turning, silver soulmarks the closer you were to them in proximity. 

You remember your first glance at two of them, in a shopping mall of all places. You didn’t get a glance at their faces, only at the way they also clutched their forearms, panic and alarm shown through their eyes as they looked down at you clutching your own in pain. 

It would take another day for you to meet the rest of your soulmates and activate your bond. You couldn’t believe your eyes when you stared up at the faces of BTS, your soulmates, in the middle of their living room after you were taken home from the hospital after fainting at the touch of your first soulmate. 

That was over two years ago and nothing could have made you happier than the way they looked at you; so much love and adoration in their eyes. You never would have thought you would meet them, but now you wish you looked for them sooner. 

-*-*-

You couldn’t help but to stare down at the invitation again, lost in your memories of the last family wedding you went to with your mother before she passed away. You sat towards the corner of the room, against the wall as you watched the DJ play another love song and asked for all the “lovely soulbonds” in the room to get up and dance. 

You were in the middle of the deepest depression you had ever experienced and couldn’t fight the amount of loneliness and despair you felt after coming back from yet another discussion of why your soulmates wouldn’t want you by one of your random great aunts. Your grandma had come and sat with you, held your hands and made you cry all in one sentence. 

“Your soul was split into eight because the fates new how much love you had to give.” 

That was the first time your view on your soulmates had changed, that you felt worthy of the names imprinted on your skin. 

“What are you thinking about, baby?” Jimin’s asked as you felt his arms wrap around your middle, leaning his chin on your shoulder after giving a soft kiss to your neck. 

“Just thinking about the last time I went to a wedding.” You whispered, still caught in your memories. Your soulmates new all about your history of depression and didn’t treat you any differently because of it. 

In the words of Taehyung, “That just means we are meant to be there for you and give you all the love you deserve.” 

And they did, every second of every day. 

“Well, this time, you need to make time for seven soul dances, don’t you?” You could practically feel the grin on his lips as he kisses your naked shoulder, his hand messing with the top of your towel. 

“Jimin, we don’t have time to mess around right now. Our lovely little soulmate needs to finish getting ready, as do the rest of us. We only have about an hour before we need to leave.” Namjoon makes his way in from the bathroom, catching you and Jimin by the dresser. 

“Yes, Sir.” You and Jimin’s voices mesh together, mischievous looks aimed at your older soulmate knowing what the title does to him. The look in his eyes only lets you know just what punishment you were going to receive when you got back to the hotel later. 

Once everyone was ready, you made your way downstairs to the reception hall, decorated in light blue and white almost resembling what Cinderella’s wedding would resemble. You held Jin’s hand as you walked up to the small table by the entryway, folded pieces of paper organized on the table with names and table numbers. 

Your table was just you and your boys, the eight of you found yourself in the almost front and center, feet away from the long table where the bride, your cousin, and her soulmate would be sitting with their wedding parties. 

You knew why. Despite your family’s belief before you found your soulmates, once they found out you were bonded to seven extremely famous and rich men, their views changed. Now you were the favorite cousin, favorite niece. The one they always called when something went wrong and they needed money. 

“We could always just kidnap your grandma and go have dinner somewhere nice.” Jungkook leaned over and whispered in your ear, holding your hand so that you didn’t continue to pick at your nail beds. You didn’t even realize they were bleeding until he held them, using one of the napkins from the table to gently wipe the blood away. 

The boys, despite only meeting your grandma a couple of times, fell in love with her the moment they met. She had slapped Jimin with her purse when he didn’t pull your chair out for you. Apparently, all the boys needed was to see Jimin get hit before they loved someone. 

“Yeah, baby. Just say the words. Or even hit Jimin with your purse.” That earned Yoongi his own slap from the offended man. 

As nice as that sounded, dinner with the loves of your life and your beloved grandma, you knew you needed to be here. Even if you may not have wanted to come in the first place. You needed at least one good memory from a wedding that wasn’t your own. You needed to fight your own anxiety and bad memories. 

You needed to create new ones. 

Jungkook and Hobi both held your hand as the ceremony proceeded, squeezing every so often when your own grip tightened with anxiety. Weddings were a source of anxiety for you as it was the one place where all your depressive thoughts stemmed from. Just having them here, holding your hands and whispering sweet things into your ear was already a huge help to you. 

The real anxiety inducing moment was when the ceremony ended and the reception started, giving your family the perfect moment to rain down comment upon comment about your soulbonds. 

“You know, we used to think her marks were drawn on.”

“I told her before that she would never meet her soulmates and now look at her!”

“We always used to joke that her soulbond was a prank by the fates. I mean, seven soulmates. That never happens.”

“It’s a good thing her marks were real, or she’d be alone after her mom died.” 

That last comment was the last straw for you and your soulmates. Your older cousin, even if only by a couple of months, was always the one who started the jokes about your soulmarks. Even once dousing your arm in alcohol to “reveal the skin underneath”. 

You could vaguely hear the DJ announcing a soul dance and then the soft beat of another love song when Yoongi’s cold voice broke through his scarily calm demeanor. 

“Don’t ever speak about her mother again. Our soulmate has been through enough without you bringing in her mom as an offhanded comment.” Despite English being his second language, he was surprisingly good at coming up with amazing comebacks and defensive statements. 

“Now, if you don’t mind, we’re going to go and dance with our lovely soulmate and shower her with the love and affection her family should have shown her.” Jungkook finished Yoongi’s words, his piercings and tattoo’s coming off incredibly intimidating to your religious cousin. 

Taehyung led you onto the dancefloor first, right on the edge where your soulmates could stand next to you both. He cupped your cheeks, holding you close as he wiped away your slow-falling tears. 

“None of that. I want your next memory of a wedding to be a beautiful one, filled with the love of your soulmates. I want you to remember our touch, how we held you close and sang into your ear.” Taehyung was passionate in his beliefs, and it was hard to shake his mind when he believed in something, no matter how powerful that belief was. It was one of the reasons you loved him.