#bts!mafia

The first thing that Yoongi noticed as he slowly drifted out of his dream was that the sun was really fucking bright in this room and he was going to have to fix that. Add some darker curtains or something. The second thing he noticed was that Seokjin was still wrapped around him like an octopus and it was actually really nice, something that he wouldn’t mind waking up to every morning. Less nice was the rock hard and impressively large bulge pressed against his ass because he couldn’t do anything about it without coming off as a creep. His body trembled just knowing that Seokjin was this freaking close, with that part nestled against him like it belonged there. Just as he was contemplating if he could get away with rubbing against it at least a little and blame it on a dream, he noticed a third thing. 

There was a crunching sound near his side of the bed, followed by an irritating smacking that sounded like a noisy eater. There was the rustle of a crinkly bag as the sounds continued, annoying Yoongi to the point where he finally cracked his eyes open a little. 

Jimin, Jungkook, and their new little friend Taehyung had lined up three chairs and were currently passing a bag of chips between each other as they stared right at Yoongi like he was a zoo animal on display. Jungkook dusted his hands off and leaned forward to smirk at him once he noticed that he was awake. 

“I never took you for the small spoon,” he teased quietly, raising an eyebrow at the pair on the bed. 

Yoongi swallowed a little in an attempt to wet his sleep dried throat.“You know I sleep with a gun nearby, don’t you?” He rasped, keeping his voice quiet in an attempt to let Seokjin get a little more sleep. 

The three snickered quietly, although apparently not enough as a low whine sounded from the face buried in Yoongi’s hair. 

“Yoooongi. Make the kids go away,” Seokjin grumbled, his voice still thick and deep with slumber. 

“They’re your kids; they don’t listen to me.” 

Jungkook gave a snort of laughter. “Hey, we were just coming by like Yoongi told us to. Plus, I figured you’d want to get home to change into your own clothes and slap on your fifty face creams. I had no idea I’d walk into such a cozy scene. Yoongi, what are your intentions towards my brother?” 

“It’s hyung, you brat. And my intentions are for you to wait in the damned study like everyone else. Jesus Christ, what do I pay Namjoon for if he can’t keep the pests out?” Yoongi huffs as he sits up tiredly, ruffling his hair as he stares down the trio. 

Seokjin follows suit, shuffling up with a groan until he was sitting with his back against the headboard, sporting borrowed pj’s from Namjoon since he’d forgotten to pack any. He smiles sleepily at his brother. 

“We’ll be down in a bit. Kookie, can you round up some food and meet us in Yoongi’s study?” 

“You got it. You need help downstairs?” 

“My ribs don’t feel as bad today. I think Yoongi can handle it.” 

Jungkook raised an eyebrow as he shamelessly looked up and down Yoongi’s torso as if to say This guy? Yoongi flipped him off as Jungkook led his giggling companions out, but not before Jimin snuck his head back in the door once more to snap a photo on his phone. 

“Sorry, Min. You two just look so cute,” he cooed before dashing away. 

And just like that, they were left alone as they listened to the boys stomping and snickering their way down the stairs. Yoongi looked down at his lap, suddenly feeling incredibly shy as he finally processed that he’d just slept in the same bed as Seokjin all night, completely wrapped up in each other - and he’d loved it. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d slept completely through the night, let alone the last time he’d actually just slept with someone. 

He peeks over, finding Seokjin already watching him, his eyes thoughtful and his sleep swollen lips gently smiling. 

“How are you feeling?” Yoongi asks quietly, turning a little to face the other. 

Seokjin hums, his gaze not wavering from Yoongi’s face. 

“I feel alright. I got a good sleep at least since you’re a great bedmate. My arm is still killing me though, and I probably can’t do much with it for a while. Which really sucks since it’s the one I use to jerk off.” 

Yoongi sputters and coughs as Seokjin giggles. 

“Why would you...what the fuck?”

“God, you’re cute when you’re flustered. It never ceases to amaze me how easy you are to rattle. It really makes me want to test how far I can go.” 

“Shut up,” Yoongi glares halfheartedly as Seokjin’s eyes darken and his smile stretches into a grin that promises nothing good. 

“For instance, I could tell you that sleeping next to you made me so hard it hurts and I would love it if you were to help me take care of it.” Yoongi gaped as the words registered and his eyes dropped to Seokjin’s still blanket covered lap. 

The other slowly pulled the blanket away, revealing his tented pajama bottoms to his view. He should look stupid with the borrowed pair of Namjoon’s pajamas sporting little red crabs all over it, but instead it seemed to compliment it - the innocent print an interesting contrast to the otherwise lewd display. It appeared to be every bit as big as it had felt against him, almost intimidatingly so. Leave it Kim Seokjin to be gorgeous and hung. Yoongi gulped and raised his eyes to Seokjin’s face, searching for any sort of sign that he wasn’t being serious. 

“What do you say, Yoongi? You wanna go lock the door and suck me off like a good boy?” Seokjin crooned, his voice suddenly taking on a husky quality that Yoongi felt go straight to his own cock. 

Without saying a word, he slipped out of the covers and slowly walked towards the door, trying not to give away how utterly desperate he felt. He gently closed it and turned the lock before laying his forehead against the door, trying to breathe for a moment. His skin felt tingly, like ants were crawling all over him - a sure sign that his anxiety was acting up - but he was determined not to let it get the better of him. He exhaled shakily then pushed away from the door, striding towards the bed with his own erection obvious. 

He crawled onto the bed and in between Seokjin’s legs quickly, determined to get to work before either he chickened out or Seokjin changed his mind. Just as he got his hand on the waistband of the other’s pants, Seokjin’s hand settled over Yoongi’s to stop him, using it to guide him until he was sitting on his thighs face to face with each other instead. 

“Kiss me?” Seokjin asked, reaching out to cradle Yoongi’s jaw with his uninjured hand. 

“Morning breath,” Yoongi grumbled, blushing under Seokjin’s intense stare.

“I don’t care if you don’t.” 

Fuck it

Yoongi shot forward and smashed his lips onto the other, closing his eyes and grabbing Seokjin’s firm shoulders to steady himself. He knew that he was basically kissing him like he was a terrified middle schooler, but he was so nervous. He didn’t really care though, because Seokjin’s lips were as soft as they looked. He knew that if he asked how they were so soft he would be told the names of twenty different products, so instead of saying anything he simply moaned quietly against them. 

Emboldened by Yoongi’s obvious enjoyment, Seokjin threaded his hand through his hair and pulled him closer, deepening the kiss and lightly trailing his tongue across Yoongi’s bottom lip. He opened up for Seokjin to enter and caress his tongue with his own, neither of them giving a damn that it wasn’t the freshest. Seokjin pulled away slightly to suck Yoongi’s bottom lip into his mouth, nibbling gently before releasing it was a teasing pop. Yoongi was nearly breathless just from the kiss but managed a ragged whine when Seokjin pulled away. His only consolation was that Seokjin looked as fucked out as he felt. 

“No whining, baby. You wanna play more, right? We need to finish up before the brats come looking for us. We can’t take our time today.” 

Yoongi knew he was right, but he also wanted to say fuck them. This was his house and he could do whatever he damn well pleased. 

“Then hurry up and let me suck you,” he growled, reaching a hand down to tug at the other’s pants. 

Seokjin grinned and traced over Yoongi’s pouting lips. 

“You know that you are so sexy like this, right? To the rest of the world, you are this badass and heartless mafia boss whose goons are basically ninjas. The whole city is terrified of you. Yet whenever you're around me you are always stuttering and blushing, and now I have you whining and basically begging for my cock in your throat. I’ve wanted you for so long.” 

Yoongi is stunned, because he’d thought that surely this was just a spur of the moment thing. There was no way that Kim Seokjin could actually like him...

“Get to work, baby boy.”

Seokjin pushes a shoulder down gently and Yoongi rushes to comply, tapping the other to get him to lift up while Yoongi pulled his ridiculous borrowed pajama pants down to mid thigh. Seokjin’s cock slapped against his stomach when he was released from the pants confines, and Yoongi could practically feel his own jaw drop to the floor. 

When he’d felt it earlier, he’d known that Seokjin would be big, but he was easily the largest that Yoongi had ever seen in real life. He wasn’t thick enough to terrify him, but he was very long and already dripping. Yoongi followed the path as a single bead of precum fell from the tip, licking his lips in anticipation. 

Seokjin caught the motion and groaned, grabbing his dick and angling it towards Yoongi. 

“All for you, baby. Come clean me up.” 

Yoongi decided to lie down on his stomach to save his tired muscles then lapped at the offered head. Cum wasn’t the greatest tasting thing, but the fact that this was Seokjin made Yoongi decide this was pure ambrosia. 

He groaned and wrapped his lips around it, hollowing his cheeks as he traveled up and down the length to get it wet. It felt so good in his mouth, heavy and warm against his tongue, so good that he wanted him deeper. He slid down until his nose was nearly buried in Seokjin’s stomach. Once the tip hit the back of his throat, he paused and let it just sit there, surprised he’d managed to get that much without gagging and enjoying the feel of having Seokjin in him. He closed his eyes and groaned, swallowing a little since he knew how good that felt.  

Seokjin hummed and threaded a hand through Yoongi’s hair, stroking softly for a moment before he tugged a bit. 

“Look up at me.” 

Yoongi glanced up and wanted to cum on the spot. Seokjin’s face was steadily growing red, as were the wet lips that had obviously been chewed up while Yoongi had been exploring. His dark eyes were locked with his, pupils blown and heavy with lust. Yoongi hadn’t thought it was possible for Seokjin to be more beautiful, but he’d been proven wrong. In the throes of passion, he was breathtaking. 

“God, you are so pretty like this. I can see my dick bulging out of your throat, and you just look like you belong there. My pretty baby boy loves my dick that much?” 

Yoongi blushes but nods firmly, pulling up a little to grab some air. 

“I’m nearly there, sweetheart. I’m too excited. I’m going to fuck your face a little, okay?” Seokjin asked as the hand in Yoongi’s hair tightened. 

Yoongi quivered with excitement and whined, relaxing his jaw as his eyes pleaded with Seokjin to do whatever he wanted. 

“Pinch me if it gets to be too much.” 

With that said, Seokjin pushed back into Yoongi’s throat, his breathing growing loud and shakey with every shallow thrust. 

Yoongi’s gaze was transfixed on Seokjin’s face, finding he couldn’t look away from the glorious sight. He memorized every bead of sweat, every hushed swear, the way Seokjin’s head feel back in open-mouthed wonder as he grew closer to the end. He loved the way Seokjin was struggling so hard to be quiet, knowing that he was responsible for the way the other was falling apart. 

Yoongi reached underneath himself to clutch at his own erection tightly, trying hard to stave off the climax that was threatening to rise. There was no way he was going to cum just from a blowjob like some amateur. 

“I’m gonna cum, baby. Where do you want me?” Seokjin groaned. Yoongi whined desperately and clutched at Seokjin’s thighs, trying to draw him even deeper into him. 

“Fuck, want it bad, huh? Okay, swallow it all like a good boy.” 

Seokjin’s hand held Yoongi down, but not forcefully enough that he couldn’t get away if he wanted to. He moaned loudly as his head fell back against the headboard, so loud that Yoongi wondered if the other’s had been able to hear. 

Yoongi felt Seokjin slowly spilling down his throat, a bit touching his tongue. As soon as he got a taste, his own body started gently shaking, his stomach tightening as he found himself humping the bed under him. He dug his nails into Seokjin’s thigh and came right into his pants, cringing even as pleasure racked his body. 

He pulled off of Seokjin and breathed heavily he tried to get air back into his abused throat, then buried his face into the blankets in embarrassment. He seriously hadn’t done that since high school. 

“Baby, if you want me to take care of you, then you need to sit up for me.” 

Yoongi mumbled an answer into the blankets, forcing Seokjin to reach over and tug his head to the side. 

“What?”

Yoongi cleared his throat, his face bright red. “No need.” 

Seokjin’s face showed his confusion, furrowing his brows at him. 

“What do you mean no need? You don’t want me to...oh.” 

Seokjin’s frown quickly transformed into a cocky smirk. 

“I see. You are so cute,” Seokjin giggled and played with Yoongi’s ruffled hair. 

“Shut up,” Yoongi grumbled as he sat up on his thighs, trying to wipe the drool on his chin sneakily. 

“In that case, we should probably get down there before they start freaking out.” 

“Yeah, I gotta...uh, take a quick stop,” Yoongi stammered as he slid off the bed and reached out to help Seokjin stand up as the other stuffed himself back into his pants. 

Seokjin grinned cheekily at him, obviously extraordinarily pleased that he’d make Yoongi cream his pants like a teenager. 

“Okay. Go change your pants. I’ll wait for you at the top of the stairs. I don’t trust myself to walk down one-handed.” 

Yoongi huffed but nodded in agreement. They left the room together and Yoongi ran to his own, pulling out a pair of sweat pants and throwing them on with lightning speed. When he rejoined Seokjin, the other looked down at Yoongi’s pants and sighed, as if bemoaning the loss of evidence of his prowess. 

Yoongi rolled his eyes and laced his arm through the other’s to lead him down. Seokjin tugged his closer and pecked his lips, giggling over Yoongi’s shocked expression. 

“Thank you,” Seokjin murmured, tenderly kissing him again. “Also, your mouth tastes like cum so you might want to drink something before talking to the kids.” 

“Oh my god, whose fault is that?” Yoongi grumbled, tugging the other to finally get him walking. Seokjin laughed and finally let Yoongi lead him down without any other delays. Even as they reached the bottom of the stairs and strode over to the study, they didn’t let go of each other. 

As soon as they walked into the study he settled Seokjin into one of his plush armchairs and accepted the steaming coffee that Namjoon had ready and waiting for him. He took a huge gulp, almost sad to lose the evidence that what he’d just done with Seokjin was real. He smacked his lips and sighed dramatically as he settled into his own chair to drink the rest. 

The rest of the boys are all scattered around his office, with the three youngest cozied up together on a couch in the corner of the room and Namjoon sitting in his desk chair with Hoseok on his lap. It was probably the most domestic thing that had ever happened in Yoongi’s entire house, and he felt a twinge of longing as he studied everyone. This was nice, having a room full of people that were just drinking his whole imported coffee supply instead of trying to kill him. People that he actually liked and admired - for the most part. Taehyung was still iffy, but judging by the hickies gracing his throat and the way that Jimin and Jungkook couldn’t keep their hands off of him, he was probably here to stay. 

“So why are we here, Yoongi?” Jungkook finally asks. 

Yoongi is happy that everyone seems ready to get to business instead of the teasing he’d been sure he’d have to listen to. There was no way they hadn’t heard something. 

Yoongi scoffed, “Technically, I only told Jimin and Namjoon to be here. The rest of you invited yourselves.” 

Jungkook shrugs his shoulders. “Sounded important.” 

Yoongi sighs and rubs the back of his neck. “I wanted to propose a partnership. Park, you were calm under pressure, ruthless, and followed directions well. And Taehyung, with your brother gone, any remaining men will be coming to you for leadership.” Yoongi silently chuckled at the obvious cringe Taehyung made over that. He kinda figured the other wasn’t the gang leader type. 

"As you saw, we were able to decimate that gang in no time at all because they were new and untrained, without much in the way of backup or allies. Neither of you seem like the type to thirst for power, so there’s no real reason for you to be trying to run such small gangs all on your own. It would be better to come work with me or Seokjin and have all of our resources and power at your disposal.” 

“Actually,” Seokjin interrupts. “I was thinking of retiring so you’d be working for Jungkook if you didn’t work for Yoongi.” 

Everyone paused at that bit of information, turning to Seokjin curiously. He shrugged and smiled shyly. 

“I’ll still consult when needed, but I have tons of money and I’ve never gotten to do anything fun with it. I was thinking about a couple months out on a yacht. Maybe a little trip around Europe that has less crime and more sightseeing. I’m man enough to admit that nearly dying made me rethink a few things.” 

The reminder of Seokjin’s close call upset Yoongi, but soon enough it was overshadowed by the image of Seokjin on a yacht. His skin sunkissed and practically bared to the entire world since he would probably wear the tiniest scrap of fabric if he wore anything at all. He’d love to see Seokjin traveling too;  could easily picture him happily eating his way all over the world and attending the finest spas they could find. They? Sure enough, Yoongi found himself imagining standing right next to Seokjin through all of it. He wanted to take Seokjin clothes shopping in Paris, buy him pizza in Rome, cover him in jewelry from Dubai. 

He was so in love. 

“I was thinking of taking a break too. Last night exhausted me. I’ve gotten too used to hanging out in my office instead of being out there. It’s better to have a leader that it out there in people’s faces. I’d rather work behind the scenes.” 

“I don’t want to lead the gang though, Jin. I’m happy being the muscle.” 

Taehyung and Jimin both cooed and began groping the now smirking Junkook’s arms as the rest of the room rolled their eyes. 

“Well, if Seokjin is going to be away for however long, and Yoongi and Jungkook don’t want to lead, what are we proposing here?” Namjoon finally says after a few moments of silence. 

Yoongi turns to study his best friend, raising an eyebrow and stroking his chin thoughtfully. 

“I propose we all come together as one huge empire with Namjoon as our leader,” Yoongi finally states, smirking as Namjoon’s jaw drops. The rest of the room is filled with excited rumbling as the rest agree. 

“What? Me? Yoongi, no. I’m not good enough for that,” Namjoon protests, waving his hand around like the very thought was preposterous. 

Yoongi shook his head. “Joon, you’re perfect. You’ve been at my side since the beginning and I wouldn’t have gotten this far without you. You already do most of the boss duties anyway while I work in the comfort of this room. I believe in you. Besides, I’m still going to be around. I just prefer to work in the shadows.” 

“Ohhh, I’ll be a mafia wife. I wonder if I can get on that TV show,” Hoseok croons as he kisses Namjoon’s blushing cheek. 

Seokjin snorts, “I’m certain you have to be married to get on there. I’ve tried.” 

“Oh, that’s not a problem since we are.” 

The room stilled as every head turned to Hoseok. 

“What?” Yoongi asked, gaze flickering between the two, 

“Mmm, yeah. Going on two years now, right babe?” Hoseok snickered. 

Yoongi sighed as Namjoon sheepishly grinned. “Yeah. We, uh...decided to keep it quiet for Hoseok’s safety. Boss, you knew. You were there.” 

Yoongi wracked his memory for a clue. There was that one...no...that couldn’t be it. 

“Wait, you mean that time we went to a music festival and that goth chick wrapped your arms in a rope? I thought you were just being weird and kinky.” 

Hoseok cackled, “No, we just got to talking and it turned out she was ordained so she talked us into letting her do it right there, then we did all the paperwork when we got home. You were drinking that weird strawberry cocktail pretty heavily, so I’m not surprised it’s a little hard to remember. You even signed as a witness.” 

“See,” Yoongi groaned, rubbing a hand down his face. “I don’t even know what’s going on in my own home.” 

“I for one think this is a great idea.” Seokjin smiled at the couple. “Namjoon is fantastic at what he does, and I always admired your work. If my Jungkookie is happier to merge than lead, then you’ll have my support as well. I’ll still want to work and expect my usual cuts, but I’m happy to hand over leadership to you.”

Namjoon observes the group in awe. He turns to the young group on the couch. 

“You’re all alright with this? Even you, Jimin?” 

Jimin shrugs, grinning at Namjoon. 

“It sounds like a great idea. I was struggling on my own. I knew I’d never be able to really go up against either of them, and I’d have to if I wanted to expand.  With the power of all of us together, we’d be unstoppable. Just know that if anyone tries to fuck me over or mess with TaeTae or Kookie, I will bury a bullet in their brain. Got it?” 

Yoongi had a feeling that if he wasn’t so whipped for Seokjin, he’d be incredibly into Park Jimin. It would take a strong man not to be. 

He grinned and nodded at Jimin. “Understood.” 

Yoongi stood up and strode over to the desk, reaching his hand out. 

“Congratulations...boss.” 

Namjoon laughed and accepted the handshake, pumping it enthusiastically as Hoseok slid off him and stood proudly at his side. 

“I’m not dumb enough to think you won’t still be ordering me around.” 

“Eh, I’m old and set in my ways.” Yoongi shrugs, grinning as he sinks back into his seat. 

“Now that this is settled, we should head out. We can work through more details and things later, but I really want to get home to shower and put on my own clothing,” Seokjin sighed as he stood up, the others quickly following suit. 

Yoongi’s heart dropped to his stomach. He was just going to leave without talking about what happened earlier? 

He walked silently with everyone else as they strode towards the entryway. Jungkook gathered Seokjin’s bag and herded his two whatever-they-were towards the car. Hoseok and Namjoon went with them, chattering away. 

Seokjin stood on the final step, sunlight lending him a glow as he smiled tenderly up at Yoongi’s sullen form. He clenched the doorframe tightly, refusing to make more of a fool of himself and run to Seokjin to demand answers and beg for him to love him back. 

“Thank you for everything, Yoongi. You are amazing. I’ll see you later.” Seokjin says softly, blowing him a hand kiss before he turns and joins his brother. 

Hoseok and Namjoon are yelling goodbye and waving off the car while Yoongi stares in silence, watching it disappear from view before he heads back to his study. He slams and locks the door before breaking out a bottle of his favorite whisky and he stays in there for the rest of the day. 

⁑

By the time Yoongi finally breaks, it’s been two days since he’d last seen Seokjin. He’d left him alone the previous day knowing he’d want a chance to sleep in his own bed and maybe go to the hospital. But it was now on day two and Yoongi was suffering. 

He missed Seokjin. He missed taking care of him and sleeping with him and knowing he was okay. He’d even taken to sleeping in the bed he’d used, hoping the scent of him that clung to the sheets would help him sleep. 

He’d gotten a single text from the man letting him know that he’d arrived home safely and that was the last he heard anything. Not even Jungkook has answered any texts. 

Seokjin had certainly hinted that he liked Yoongi, right? He couldn’t have been so pathetic to have dreamed that shit up. 

Yoongi growled and kicked his desk, yelping in pain as his ankle caught the side of it and scratched the skin. Namjoon and Hoseok came running, demanding to know if he was alright, but Yoongi simply stared at the slight wound with an idea forming. 

He grabbed his leather jacket and keys, striding out of the door with steely eyes as he ignores the other two. 

⁑

Kim Seokjin’s front door is an ostentatious windowed wooden thing that looks like it was made for a castle, because of course it is. Yoongi rings the doorbell then bangs on it forcefully, in no mood to be patient. When it’s opened by none other than Seokjin himself, Yoongi’s breath hitches because he’s beautiful and he missed him so fucking much. He’s also really fucking annoyed and the knowing grin that Seokjin is aiming at him isn’t making it better. 

“So I hurt my ankle and I need it looked at, and you ate my food and slept in my house so I figured this would be the perfect time to pay me back and...”

“Yoongi,” Seokjin interrupts with tender eyes and a soft grin. “I missed you too. I was just waiting until I was off the pain meds so you’d believe anything I had to say.” 

Yoongi scoffs, despite the blush heating his cheeks. 

“Now come inside. I can’t let the man I love die from an injured ankle.” 

Yoongi stares at Seokjin in awe, his heart beating wildly as he slowly registers what he’d just heard.

He loves him. Kim Seokjin loves Min Yoongi. 

Seokjin simply watches, an understanding grin growing as he observes Yoongi. He finally takes mercy on the stunned man, lacing his hand in Yoongi’s and ushering him inside the house. 

“I know, baby boy. You love me too. Now, should we go to Italy or France first?” 

⁑

“He would be proud of us,” Yoongi grins at me as he sits in a chair with a stack of letters on his lap. “He’d be so happy with how far we’ve come with little guidance. We’re the best people that could have taken over this business, and I think that’s becoming more and more clear with each passing day.” “I’m still working on categorizing those words for you, but I think we are getting closer to figuring out what really happened to our parents,” I let my legs fall back onto the couch. “Sometimes I have a second pair of eyes look at all we’ve found to see if they can figure out what the connection is. I also have been trying to make sentences and such with the words we’ve found. It’s a fun puzzle, in a strange kind of way.” “What’s gotten you so happy and giddy these past couple of weeks?” Yoongi tilts his head to curiously look at me. “It felt like for a while there you were never going to get out of your funk. Is it because you go to those book club meetings?” I bite the inside of my cheek to keep in a laugh. The times that I tell Yoongi that I am staying back on campus because of the book club are the times that Taehyung and I have been going out on dates to different coffee shops or old bookstores. I have been helping out with the book club as on outsider, though. If Yoongi were to ever call and ask if I was there, the people there would know to lie on my behalf. “Well,” I speak up after the want to laugh has passed. “I don’t have to deal with the Fakes anymore, so that has really taken a weight off of my shoulders. I don’t have to deal with their daily bullshit. I’ve been able to get back to training with Jimin thanks to my wound healing,” I raise my right arm up to check out the light scar on my forearm. “I’m hanging out with people that I actually care about, and who care about me. I may be without parents early in my life, but life is actually turning in a good direction.” “You’re so positive,” Yoongi chuckles, shaking his head as he looks down at the letters on his lap. “I thought you might mention a new boy who’s taken your interest, but I guess you don’t need a significant other to be happy.” My arm drops onto my face to try to cover the blush that is invading. “How could I possibly have a boyfriend when you make it so clear that you’ll scare them away? If a boy even tried to flirt with me you’d have a heart attack, and then kill him once you make it out of the hospital. Besides, I have too much going on in my life to even think about starting a relationship now.” “I have never said that a boy can’t flirt with you,” he scoffs. “I’d just like to meet him, and get a background check from the hackers, and he can’t be from the mansion. Simple requirements.” “You’re doing it again,” I move my arm up to rest on my forehead. “There are plenty of boys in this house that would be just like meeting them at university. I’m a mafia boss, Yoongi. A godmother, in a sense. This is my life just like it is yours. I’m gonna need someone who has been in on the operation just as I have.” “I’m not going to fight with you, Bambi,” Yoongi sighs, shuffling around the letters he’s holding. “Dad and I always wanted you to get out of this profession, but it’s clear that you belong here just like everyone else. You want to be here more than any person I know.” “It’s about fucking time that people realize that women can do all the same things that men do,” I turn my head to look over at my brother. “That’s why I want to be here to be here so bad. There’s a stigma around women in gangs, and especially the mafia. I watch the movies, and I want to be the one that is different. Show to those in the mansion that I can be just as good as my brother counterpart, and show to the outside world that I can lead a big corporation just as good as you.” “You are doing that, Bambi,” Yoongi looks up to lock eyes with me. “People never looked down on you when you were always in the background of operations because you go to school fulltime. People always ask about you, and how you are doing. You are a key component in everything that Bangtan does. You will always be that because Bangtan would be nothing without their badass princess. You keep us all sane, in a way. You give a different point of view to problems, and go out and fight to keep people safe, and are just a lovely human being.” “Why do you act like that isn’t true, though?” I push myself into a sitting position; not once breaking eye contact with my brother. “Why do you act like I am weak?” “Because you’re my damn little sister,” he says like it is the most obvious answer. “When you were born, and I held you in my arms for the first time, I knew that my biggest goal in life would be to protect you. To make sure to keep you out of as much harms way as possible. I treat you different because you are closer to me than any person in this world. If you were gone, my whole life would crumble.” Without a chance to give any thought into my action, I vault off of the couch and rush over to fall onto my brother. He lets out a huff as a breath is forced out of him, but he wraps his arms around me regardless. “I am not going anywhere, Yoongi,” I speak up after I’ve had time to sort out my thoughts. “Not today, not tomorrow, not ever. I am always going to be by your side. I have more than enough people keeping an eye on me to make sure I stay safe. Plus, I wouldn’t go down without a fight,” I giggle. “I’d kick some ass before anyone ever took me down.” Yoongi chuckles, “Of course. I know how skilled you’ve become as a fighter. It’s just now that mom and dad are both gone, I realize just how deadly this job can be. I love you so much, Bambi.” “I love you so much, too,” I wiggle around so that I can comfortably snuggle into my brother’s side. “It’s moments like this that I live for. Just being able to spill our guts to one another.” “I love holding you because it reminds me of the first time I saw you,” Yoongi kisses the top of my head. “You’ll always be the small baby that knew nothing of the world and smiled at me like you knew just who I was. That I was your big brother, and I would always be there to make you smile.” “I didn’t crush the letters too badly, did I?” I giggle as I glance down at the papers on his lap. “They didn’t even cross my mind until now. I just needed to be over here.” “They’re fine,” he tosses the pile of letters onto the floor. “I’ve been reading them for a while now, and I’m just not getting anywhere.” “Sometimes you just have to stop thinking about it for a while and then it will hit you like one of my kicks,” I giggle. “Seriously though, I think we both deserve a break. We should get Jin to make us some comfort food, as tomorrow is going to be stressful. I just know it will be.” “What comfort food do you suggest we have?” Yoongi squishes my sides. “I need something warm to eat.” “I’m sure if we just go to the kitchen and ask Jin to make us some warm comfort food, he’ll do a perfect job.” “That’s one of your favorite places in this whole mansion,” he rubs his hand up and down my back. “You love to chill in the kitchen and just talk the afternoon away with Seokjin.” “Well, he always listens and gives good advice,” I manage to shrug. “And Jin’s hot chocolate can always cheer me up. There’s many other places in the mansion that I love, though.” “You love being right by my side,” Yoongi helps me sit up so he can look me in the eyes. “How about we go get something to eat and then chill watching some show in your room?” “That sounds perfect,” I tenderly smile. “We’ll need a lot of energy for tomorrow. It’s going to be a crazy day.”

********

“It’s been years since I’ve dressed up for Halloween,” I smile as I pull the blue dress of the Mario space princess off the hanger. “My last costume was something basic, like just wearing a onesie out with some of my before-the-mafia friends.” “Too bad you couldn’t go too crazy with a costume, seeing as you have to meet potential business partners,” Sooyoung checks out her Tinkerbell outfit in the many mirrors of my closet. “I like Rosalina’s dress, though. Like, a lot. It’s elegant but shows off your body in just the right way.” Boram giggles, “You two are a crazy duo. There’s just something about the both of you that makes such a perfect friendship.” “You’re our friend too, Boo,” I smile at the young doctor dressed up as a kitten. “You are part of our crazy perfect trio. We are three girls that you don’t want to mess with,” I chuckle. “We love having you around to talk with us because then we can talk about even more boys,” Sooyoung slips her feet into the iconic Tinkerbell flats. “Speaking of boys, Boram, are you still crushing on Taemin?” She has a sly grin on her face as she asks the question. Boram’s face is overcome with a blush in mere seconds, and it seems like the girl is at a loss for words. “Pebble, that was just mean,” I shake my head. “Boram, take some deep breaths. You don’t have to answer that if you don’t want to.” “If she doesn’t want to talk about her crush, then I will talk about mine,” Sooyoung takes a seat on a stool. “Jungkook is a puzzle that I can’t seem to figure out. One minute he seems to be all up for going out on a date, and then the next he’s shutting himself off. I guess that’s just what happens when you’ve been an assassin for so long.” “He’s a little rougher around the edges than most of those within the mansion,” I slip my robe off, quickly shimmering into the blue dress. “There’s nothing you can do other than keep doing what you’re doing. He’ll open up if you care enough about him.” “Has he opened up to you?” Sooyoung motions me over with her index finger. “Other than having to tell his story to join Bangtan, I mean.” I step up to my best friend, turning so she can zip up the back of my dress. “We’ve talked about different things here and there. I’ve been around these boys for many years of my life. They see me as a friend.” “Well, one of them sees you as more than a friend,” Boram can’t help the giggle that escapes her lips. I grin, walking over to a mirror to adjust the sleeves. “Ah, so Doc told you about my relationship with a certain hacker?” “We tell each other everything,” Boram crosses her arms over her chest. “I am as much involved over in the hospital wing as he is. If something is going to happen where you need a doctor, then you are going to need two. That’s just how it works. Minho trusts me enough to know that I won’t talk about your little group of vigilantes.” “We’re not vigilantes,” I turn to look at Boram. “We are just doing a little of extra work that my brother will thank me for in the long run.” “You’re doing it behind his back because you can’t tell him about your relationship with that hacker. Taehyung, right?” I take a deep breath, “Yoongi would never accept that I am dating the boy who watches over me. Not yet. Once I am able to show all the information that we have on my mother, and the Red Wolves, and just what the fuck is going on, I’m sure he’ll be more accepting of the one who I have decided to date.” “Has Mr. Hacker found anything other than your files at the therapist?” Sooyoung adjusts the flower she has in her bun. “Has anyone found out anything other than what we’ve been trying to decipher?” I turn back to the mirror and start messing around with my hair, “Nothing. It’s all dead ends or confusing riddles. I’m still working through what all the hi-lighted words could have in common. Yoongi’s been looking through letters and other documents. Our father’s office was a tomb of secrets, and someone wanted to make sure that us kids would have a hell of a time trying to figure it all out.” I shake my head, trying to clear all the negative thoughts. “Enough talk about this. Aren’t we supposed to be talking about boys?” I smirk over at the girls. “Yes, that’s what I like to hear,” Sooyoung has a giant grin on her face as she clasps her hands together. “Now, Jungkook and I are somewhere between friends and a couple for the moment. Just being able to talk to him more in these last few months has been a dream come true.” “How’s Taemin been, Boram?” I walk over and take a seat on a stool near both girls. Boram shrugs as her cheeks return to their blushing state. “He’s always off doing accounting things, and the times when we would be able to hangout he has to go bartend.” “There has to be a time when you both have downtime,” I nibble on my bottom lip. “In fact, I’ll make it happen when we are looking over the hours for Taemin.” “Oh, you don’t have to do that,” Boram takes a deep breath. “If we aren’t meant to be, then we aren’t meant to be.” “You are so meant to be, Boo,” Sooyoung lifts her feet up to admire her cute slippers. “If it wasn’t for Areum telling Taehyung to put in a good word to Jungkook for me, I’d still be crushing from the sidelines. Friends help other friends, and family looks out for each other.” Boram giggles, “Bangtan is a family of friends.” “So, will you let me change around the bartenders to make sure that Taemin and you can hang out?” I lean towards the girl, grinning like a mad woman. She takes a deep breath, “Yes, I’ll let you change some things around.” “Sweet,” I lean back, satisfaction taking over my face as I stare at the ceiling. “Now, there’s only one boy left to talk about,” Sooyoung taps me with her foot to get me to look at her. “Areum, how is your boyfriend doing?” I feel a light blush rise onto my cheeks, “I don’t know what you are trying to get at, but Taehyung and I are doing just fine. We’ve been going on café or bookstore dates whenever he can sneak away and pick me up from university. He’s over in my room often so that we can work on things in each other’s presence. It’s a very nice relationship. Like none I’ve had before.” “So, are you in love with him?” Sooyoung leans forward. “I can’t believe you,” I shake my head. “He’s listening in on this conversation, and I would not like to talk about my deeper feelings for him where he can hear like this.” “So, you do love him?” Boram tilts her head as she holds back a smile. I sigh, knowing that they’ll keep prodding me until I give a solid answer. “I don’t know. I have this strong feeling within me that wants me to be with him, and touch him, and help him with whatever troubles he has. There’s a strange feeling within me that has me thinking that I knew him before this, but that’s how I feel about you, Sooyoung. Like we had been together before I met you,” I let my head fall so I’m staring down at my lap. “I don’t know.” From my peripheral vision I catch Sooyoung and Boram give each other a look that I can’t read. It’s like they had a split-second conversation about me. “Well, that sounds like love, my dear,” Sooyoung takes a deep breath. “You’re just afraid because you’ve had a relationship end shitty before. Taehyung isn’t like that. He’s not going to hurt you. I’ll make sure of it,” she clenches her fists on her lap. I chuckle, looking up at the only two girls in the world I would share this kind of information with. “We haven’t even kiss,” I can’t help the laugh that explodes from within me. “Holy fucking shit. I may be in love with this boy and we haven’t even kissed. He’s all I could ask for in a person to love, and I can’t even do the most basic action that couples do.” Boram and Sooyoung can’t help but join in on my laughter. It’s these kinds of moments that I live for with my friends. It is like we have forgotten that every day could be our last, and we are living like the young girls that we are. Nothing can get in the way of our joy. Nothing can get in the way of conversations on boys. “If you’re listening right now, Taehyung, I give you permission to kiss my best friend tonight,” Sooyoung is the first to catch her breath. “I can’t believe you just said that,” I groan, placing my head into my hands. “I’m not sure if I want him to be listening right now or not. Either way, I think I want to kiss Taehyungie tonight.” “Then we better get down to the ballroom,” Boram stands up. “A night of fun is ahead of us, girls. Let’s go get it started.”

********

I’ve been standing beside my brother for what feels like an eternity as we greet and speak with present and future business partners. While we both try to talk an equal amount, it is clear that Yoongi has taken over my father’s passion of speech and being in control. He answers all the questions about Bangtan, while I answer the more personal ones. It’s been a sight to see the older businessmen come in wearing basic costumes of sports players or movie stars from their childhood. The younger businessmen take the costume party to heart and have gone all out in popular television characters or superheroes. Yoongi is one of those who has gone with a costume that reflects his age: Naruto. He has the uniform, headband, spiked hair, and facial markings. It’s been interesting having to explain who we are dressed up as to those who our father brought into the organization. “It’s nice to see you, Dr. Sato,” Yoongi’s voice drags me out of my thoughts. “Ah, my old doctor,” I smile at the man dressed as a baseball player and the young man next to him dressed as Superman. “And someone that I feel I’ve seen somewhere.” “This is my son, Reo,” Dr. Sato pats his son on the shoulder. “We actually go to the same university, Areum,” Reo generously bows in my direction. “I’ve had a few classes with you.” “Oh, yes, that’s where I’ve seen you before,” I can’t stop the lie from passing through my lips. “It’s good to see you again. I don’t think we ever formally talked in school.” “No, you were always off with that one group of girls,” Reo steps closer to me as Yoongi begins to talk business with Dr. Sato. “Everyone always thought you were great friends. Until you blew up at them a few weeks ago.” I feel a heat rise onto my cheeks as I remember yelling at the Fakes. “Yeah, well, there’s a lot people don’t know about me.” “I’m really sorry about what happened to your dad. I lost my aunt and uncle to a bad accident, and I was very close with them. My cousins have lived with us ever since.” “I remember reading about that,” I reach up to push my crown back into place. “No one ever prepares you for the loss of a parent, or the loss of anyone close to you. Life is a bitch.” Reo laughs, “They say the same about karma. You sure have had to battle a lot that life has thrown at you, though. I couldn’t imagine what you go through.” I shrug, “It’s only made me stronger. I wouldn’t change my struggles for anything.” “How’s school life been like from the library?” Reo grins as he runs a hand through his hair. “Comfortable and quiet. I get more work done there then when I have to go to class. Might go to online after this semester though. Yoongi’s going to need help running Bangtan. We are co-CEO’s in this venture.” “I’ll miss seeing you at university, then. We should have lunch one day, so that you can stretch your legs and get out of that library.” I politely smile, trying my hardest not to roll my eyes, “Maybe we can figure something out. Just because I don’t go to class doesn’t mean I don’t have a lot of work to do.” “Sorry to interrupt,” Yoongi places his hand on my elbow. “Areum, we’ve been talking to people for hours, we need to go get something to eat.” I feel relief wash over me as I look over at my brother. “Has it really been a couple of hours now? I’m surprised my stomach hasn’t made any grumbling noises yet.” “It was nice talking to you, Areum,” Reo bows at me once again. “Hopefully we’ll see each other around campus.” “Yes, that would be lovely,” I nod at him. Yoongi doesn’t waste any time in dragging me away from the doctor and his son. His next mission is to get us to the buffet tables as soon as possible. “Are you okay, Yoongi?” I furrow my eyebrows together as I look over my brother. “I’m fine,” Yoongi hands me a plate. “It’s you who I’m worried about. I could feel you getting uncomfortable back there. Why didn’t you get my attention and lie to get out of that conversation?” “I was just being polite,” I shrug, starting to pile food onto my plate. “There are some people out there that you just have to deal with. He hadn’t made any big move on me, so I felt like I could handle it. I was just annoyed that he thought I was interested in him.” “So, you don’t feel any romantic feelings for him?” “Not a single romantic feeling,” I can’t help the look of disgust that forms on my face. “He’s definitely not my type. Too goody-two-shoes. I need someone with a bit more character,” I slightly smile as I think of Taehyung. “Good, because I like Dr. Sato, but there’s only so much I can take of his stories about work,” Yoongi lowly chuckles. “I think tonight is going very well.” “They would be so proud of us. Mother and father are looking down on us with big smiles on their faces. I just know it.” “They’ll be even happier when we sit down and eat,” Yoongi motions for me to follow him with the nod of his head. The two of us head to a back table where we will have just enough time to eat before someone calls for us. That’s the life of being the one’s in charge of the biggest organization in Seoul. Yoongi and I don’t talk much once we get seated and start stuffing food into our mouths. It gives me the perfect chance to search the throng of people for my friends. It’s not hard to find Sooyoung in her Tinkerbell outfit, so this has me spotting Jungkook and Taehyung chatting away with her. Jungkook is dressed up as a bunny, making him look a lot more adorable than what he usually does. Taehyung makes my heartrate speed up as his costume is a vampire. To keep the blush off my cheeks, I go back to scanning the room for my friends. I still can’t help but wonder if I’ll ever get some alone time with Taehyung tonight. Seokjin, Namjoon, and Hoseok are off to the side with a clear look at the exit and entrance so they can keep their eye on the guests. Seokjin is in a pumpkin costume that he totally got at the dollar store. Namjoon is dressed up as the popular Kakao Friend Ryan, and it actually fits his personality more than he might realize. Hoseok went with a classic from Star Wars: Luke Skywalker. Another scan over the crowd gets me to spot Boram, Minho, and Taemin. Boram has now put paws on her hands to complete her kitten look, and I must say she’s one of the cutest girls here. Minho looks to be dressed up as a detective of sorts, and Taemin has taken on his friend’s role as doctor. Now if Boram could just stand a little closer to Taemin. “Ah, it’s about time that I find the hosts of this lovely event,” Jimin takes a seat between Yoongi and me. “You look beautiful, baby girl,” he gently pinches my cheek. “Jiminie,” I whine, slapping his hand. “Why do you do this?” Jimin widely smiles so his eyes turn into crescents. He’s gone with a simple dinosaur onesie, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t looking super adorable. “I compliment you because that’s what best friends do,” he taps my nose. “Well you look adorable,” I giggle leaning into the dinosaur boy. “Did you stop by just to talk, or is there something going on?” Yoongi speaks up. “A little bit of both,” Jimin turns to look at my brother. “It’s been a while since the three of us have been able to spend some time together.” “Well, we aren’t in middle school anymore. We don’t walk down the street hand in hand as we head to school. A lot has changed, especially in the past few months.” “We’re all still the best of friends,” I reach over to shove Yoongi’s shoulder. “There’s no reason to get all serious.” “You’re right,” Yoongi let’s out a breath, a tiny smile playing on his lips. “It’s been a long night already, and we’re only halfway through. Bambi and I have talked to so many people that Bangtan is going to continue working with, and those who want to start working with us. With all the work we are still doing trying to find out about our parents, life is going to be busier than ever.” “Speaking of life getting busier, I need to tell you something, Yoongi,” I nibble on my bottom lip as the two boys look at me. “You are not quitting school,” Yoongi and Jimin say in unison. “Areum, I don’t give a fuck how busy Bangtan gets, you will keep going to university until you graduate,” Yoongi glares at me. “I’m not quitting,” I roll my eyes. “The university has an online program where I can take all my required classes in an online setting. That way I can be home, where it’s safe, and have time to help you out with Bangtan. It’s a win-win for everyone.” “You have to admit, she’s pretty much doing that already,” Jimin shrugs. “Might as well make it official to the university.” “We’ll talk about this when it gets closer to deciding what you need to do for the next semester,” Yoongi turns his gaze to Jimin. “Now, what’s going on?” “Hold on,” I lean towards my brother. “We aren’t discussing this later. I have already talked to me advisor to change how I do school. I am taking online classes next semester, and maybe until I graduate. This is my education, you don’t get to decide how I do or don’t do it. Now, Jimin, please, tell us what is wrong?” “There’s nothing wrong,” Jimin pats my knee. “Just some drunk guys that are out in the hall getting ready to brawl, and I thought you’d like to come and teach them a lesson,” he evilly grins at Yoongi. “Just like old times on the playground to the bullies.” Yoongi smirks, and I can see his eyes light up in remembrance, “That sounds like a great way to release some stress.” “Have fun you two,” I giggle, standing up and smoothing out my dress. “Kick some ass for me.” “You aren’t going to come watch,” Jimin winks at me. “Don’t want to see how fucking amazing we are?” “I already know you are,” I pat Jimin’s shoulder. “I have some friends that I would like to catch up with, and I wouldn’t be able to stand by and just watch you two have all the fun.” Yoongi stands up, “You look too pretty to go and get in a fight.” Jimin chuckles, jumping out of his seat. “She’ll fight in anything, so she has other reasons why she doesn’t want to come with us.” I give Jimin a quick look to shut his mouth before he spills anything else. “I’m going to go talk to Sooyoung, my best friend. We have to get back to planning our wedding,” I lightly cross my arms over my stomach. “If Yoongi won’t let me date a boy from the mansion, I’ll date her.” “I doubt she’s moved on from the assassin,” Yoongi walks over to me. “Nice try though, as you’d get my blessing.” “Just go,” I shove the two boys. “That fight isn’t going to wait forever.” Yoongi and Jimin nod before rushing off to go show some idiots that you don’t fight in the Min Mansion. I take a deep breath, turning to face the center of the ballroom. All night there has been music playing, but only the young people have taken the opportunity to dance in the center of the room. If only I could find the one person that I have been wanting to see all day. Then we could slow dance in the crowd of people without the worry of Yoongi seeing us. “Hello babe,” Taehyung’s voice shocks me out of my search for him. “You are looking very sexy this evening. It’s been hard waiting for a chance to come talk to you.” I spin on my heel to see my boyfriend with a loving smile on his face. “How do you think I’ve felt waiting to stop talking to all these people when my boyfriend is off to the side looking so hot?” I grin, reaching out to grab his hand. Up close, Taehyung looks even better dressed up as vampire. The fake fangs look to have been professionally made to fit his mouth, and the small amount of faux dried blood around his mouth is subtle enough to look good. It’s clear that he’s wearing a bit of black eyeshadow to give him age, but it’s the red contact lenses that give him the demonic look. His natural brown hair is slightly messy, and the black clothes with the cape complete the look. “That’s what we get when we can’t tell someone’s brother,” he chuckles, leaning down to kiss the top of my forehead. “How about we go out and slow dance, huh? I’ve been imaging dancing with you all night, and I don’t think I can wait any longer.” “Let’s go then,” I pull Taehyung towards the dance floor. It takes us a couple of minutes to maneuver our way into the center, but it is worth it to dance with my boyfriend. “You sure like keeping an eye on me, don’t you?” I have my arms around his neck, giving me access to mess with the hair at the nape of his neck. For once I am happy that I decided to wear shoes with a decent heel. “Yet, every time I spotted you, you were deep in conversation.” “I can keep a good eye on you without staring at you,” Taehyung has his hands firmly on my hips. “It’s my job to watch you, so I guess you could say I enjoy it.” “It was so annoying when all the young guys would come up to talk to Yoongi and me, and how blatantly they would flirt with me,” I roll my eyes. “That’s something I will not miss once we can go public. I only want to be with you.” “I saw that last guy you were with,” he pulls me closer. “The son of your old doctor. He had this look in his eyes. He likes you, but there was something else.” “Reo,” I feel the name make my stomach clench with anxiety. “He was nice, but just gave me a weird vibe. Like he thinks he should be treating me like we’ve been friends for years, but I just met him.” “It made me so angry that I couldn’t step in and get him to go away,” he rests his forehead on mine. “You’re my babe. My one and only. No one will be with you like I am.” “Tae,” I look up at him through my eyelashes. “Did you hear the conversation I had with Boram and Sooyoung?” My cheeks are burning as I ask the question. “I did,” Taehyung takes in a slow breath. “Even though I knew that you probably didn’t want me to, I couldn’t mute the microphones.” “It’s fine,” I pull my head away, so I have a clear look at his face. “I think that I wanted you to hear more than I hoped you wouldn’t. They would have teased me endlessly whatever I said.” “Did you mean it, though?” Taehyung has become quite serious in the past few moments. “Do you really feel that strongly about me?” I tenderly smiles, “The more I have gotten to know you, the more my feelings for you have grown. I’m so happy that you have entered my life, Taehyungie. You’ve helped me with so much.” “But do you love me?” Taehyung is staring into me with an intensity that I don’t think I have ever had to face. “Areum, I have been watching you for years, and I never thought this day would come where I would be able to hold you in my arms. To cuddle with you. To help you through problems. To have the chance to kiss you. I have been so helplessly in love with you for a long time, and I know that sounds so cliché and cheesy, but it’s the truth. I held it together for so long because I didn’t want you to think I was weird and push me away. I was so afraid of losing you and making your brother mad that I had even talked to you. But damn it, I don’t give a fuck anymore. I am in love with you, Areum.” I feel a few tears sliding down my cheeks, and my mouth has fallen open slightly. “Tae, I…” “Oh babe, I didn’t mean to make you cry,” Taehyung’s face is filled with concern as he wipes the tears off my face. “I’m just done lying to myself, and especially to you.” “They are happy tears,” I giggle as a few more tears escape and fall down my face. “I’ve only ever loved a handful of people in my entire life. They have always been like family to me, but you are different. I never knew if I would be able to love another human being like the way my parents loved each other after my heart was broken for the first time. Until I met you,” I chuckle as the tears keep on flowing. “Damn it, I don’t want to cry. I’m just so happy because I love you too, Taehyung. I love you, and this is just the beginning.” “Take a deep breath babe,” Taehyung shows off his boxy smile as he dries my face with his thumb. “I don’t like seeing you cry, even if this is a happy cry.” I focus on my breathing, so the tears stop flowing down my cheeks. This is not anywhere close to how I imagined this scene happening. After a few moments, I have calmed down and dried my cheeks of the tears. “Good, that’s my girl,” Taehyung kisses my forehead. “Now, there’s one more thing I need to tell you.” “You can kiss me, Tae,” I lovingly smile at my boyfriend, pulling my left hand forward to cup his face. “I really want to kiss you.” “It’s not that,” he tucks some loose hair behind my ear. “I mean, I really want to kiss you, but there’s something important I need to tell you.” “What is it?” I tilt my head to the side in curiosity. “You keep on saying how close you’ve felt to me since that day at the viewing. How you feel like you’ve known me for a lot longer than the few months we’ve been together. Well, I can explain why you feel that way,” he takes a deep breath, slowly releasing it as if to think over his next few words. “We did know each other years ago, right before your mother was murdered. I’m scattered all over your therapist files, so he took your memory of me. All the days we spent together as kids. All the days we spent getting closer and closer. He made you talk about it all, and took me from you. I don’t know why,” he shakes his head. I open my mouth, but I can’t think of a single word to tell the boy that I love so much. Then, like a crash of thunder, I feel my brain release the floodgates on a section of my memories.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

In his mind, the closest thing you had to privacy was that bathroom, other than that, he wanted you to be open with him about everything. It scared him a little when you were by yourself too long. You were in the shower for so long, almost an hour. He knew the injuries you had weren’t good, but they weren’t necessarily severe, you should’ve gotten out so he could change your bandage dressing. You seemed annoyed for some reason. Last night, you had rolled out of his arms and slept at the far end of the bed. You didn’t know but he was awake when you did it and he heard you crying to yourself. He was afraid if you knew he witnessed that you would close yourself off more out of bashfulness. Mentally, he didn’t quite understand where you were. Even though the water turned off, you still hadn’t come out. It was against his better judgment to leave you alone, so, he took it upon himself to check on you. He knocked on the door. 

“Hey, I’m just checking on you, are you okay? You’ve been in there for a while.” He awaited a response but he got nothing. He couldn’t wait here for you to respond. “You’re not responding so I’m coming in.” He gave you a slight warning before opening the door abruptly, hitting your leg that was in its path.

“No, don’t- Ouch!-” You exclaimed, and after that—you sort of...lost it. “Get out! Get out!” You shouted, startling him when he saw you tending to the wound on your arm but instantly reaching down to shield the leg he had just bumped with the edge of the door. 

“What do you want? Can’t you see I was- Just get out!” You pushed the door back and locked it, he tried to open it again but it was just the violent jiggle of the nob.

“What the hell Y/n.” He hit the door, making you flinch upon the sound. “Open the door. Let me help you.” He frowned, you had never done something that snappy before and he made the big mistake of being snappy back. “Are you doing this because you’re insecure? Because I told you that you don’t have to be, there’s no reason to feel like that in front of me. I don’t care how bare you are, I want to, and I will look because I care.” You wondered what that supposed to mean to because for some reason it made anger bubble in your chest. “If this is a pride thing...” He sounded as if you having pride in yourself was something that devalued his use to you. He wanted to be your pride and be strong for you right now, and you didn’t need him to do that right now. You just needed patience and he didn’t get it.

“Please, stop acting like this and open the door.” He threatened, he wondered what he was hoping to gain from this. “Please.” He tried to sound kind but it just sounded like a forced, please.

“No, this door is staying closed until I want to open it because I’m a person too, I can have my own space...” You mumbled more to yourself, knowing that clench in his jaw was probably there, you really could care less though. All you wanted to do was clean up and get yourself together without a microscope on you. It was bad enough that you slept in the same bed, that aspect of your life wasn’t private anymore. Your body was lacerated because of his so-called brother; he didn’t seem that mad at him for what Taehyung did to you. You felt as if you were in an unpleasant state of inner turmoil but you weren’t allowed to show it or you’d be coddled to death. The nightmares didn’t make it better, neither did that insomnia. The images keep coming to the forefront of your mind as you struggle to close your eyes. For 24 hours, no food, no water, and a constant drip of water in the middle of your face. Getting cut from head to toe. How were you supposed to recover from that quickly? A lot was taken from you and you didn’t want your sanity to be next. You had questioned yourself many times. Am I being over dramatic? Is this something I really need to dwell on? Should I be allowed a recovery period or am I supposed to wipe my tears and tough through it? Am I depressed or am I just feeling sorry for myself?—Those were all fair questions that you didn't have answers to.

You really hated this feeling—it was like being naked in the street and forced to expose the astringent bareness of your very being. That’s what it felt like. Jungkook was trying to comfort you but it didn’t seem to work as well as he hoped. You assumed he wasn’t trying to make the situation worse, he wouldn’t do that. But deep, deep down inside, he didn’t know how to care for you and it started to annoy him. You not being okay was starting to get on his nerves. Why weren’t you getting better? When he kissed you and distracted you, it never lasted long enough for you to forget—it was a temporary high that left you even more lost afterward. 

He wanted you to express yourself while at the same time getting over what happened, if only it were as simple as that. It was selfish, he was completely aware of that. But he didn’t know any other way to do this. He had never had a relationship like this before and he didn’t want to screw it up. He had to think hard about this, touching you just made you fidgety and he could take you to another world but you’d right back to reality in time, it would never last.

You heard him murmur something incomprehensible from behind the door and after a few seconds you heard the room door open and close louder than he normally does. He had to get out of this room before he did something reckless. And for some reason, when that door closed, you fell to your knees and stared blankly at your bruised legs. You had sloppily wrapped your arm and despite the pain, you just sat there, unmoving.

Jungkook left the room to go to Taehyung, he had a mouthful to say to him. He bolted down the hall and banged on the room door of that same room you were once in. “I need to talk to you open the door, open the-” 

The door slung open and Taehyung looked at him as if he had lost his mind. “What do you want? I’m in the middle of something.” In the background was a scared, frail-looking kid, sitting anxiously in a chair—Taehyung often interrogated children when necessary. “Can it wait?”

“I need to talk to you.” Jungkook didn’t look like he was going to budge and Taehyung just sighed.

He looked back at the kid in the room. “Stay there.” He instructed kindly before shutting the door behind him. “What do you need?” He looked uninterested.

“I knew you ‘broke’ people but I never saw what they were like after, I’m dealing with what happens after. She’s blowing up for nothing and I blame you.” Taehyung just shook his head at the naivety of Jungkook’s statement. 

“You can blame me all you want, I was doing my job. If Namjoon asked you to find some guy and kill him, you’d do it without question because it’s your job. Don’t hold me to an unfair standard because you sleep with her.” Jungkook furrowed his brows a bit and Taehyung continued. “I don’t know why you’re even bringing this up. If you would’ve left her in this room, I could have taken her through the recovery process gently, but no, you had to be the savior of the day.”

“How would you have helped her recover?!” Jungkook raised his voice, prompting a few pairs of eyes to watch. “You’re the one who messed her up in the first place, why in hell would she want to be helped by you?”

“You don’t know what happens behind these closed doors Jungkook. It’s just me and the other person, like clay in my hands, they’re extremely moldable.” He scoffed. 

“For instance, Hyung wanted to make sure she learned her lesson for running away so, I sure she believes she did this to herself. Subtract me from her memory, it won’t make a difference in who she really blames because her mind is already trained, she believes it was her fault. I wouldn’t be surprised if she started blaming you for it. I mean, you weren’t there and that’s why she ran away and got caught.” Taehyung grinned slightly. 

“I have a feeling that you just don’t know how to deal with the aftermath of the process. Anxiety, depression, nightmares, insomnia, that’s probably what she’s going through and you just don’t understand it so you’re blaming me, that’s understandable.” He was right, given Jungkook’s silence and defensive posture. Taehyung opened the room door so he could go back to continue his job. “I’ll let you in on a little secret that speeds up recovery time immensely, it’s called,” He cracked the door, “patience.”

He shut the door in Jungkook’s face so he could get back to his job. There was no sense in banging on the door until he got a response so he went back to his room. 

When he opened the room door, you were still in the bathroom but it was silent. He hesitantly approached the door, first putting his ear to it. He took a chance and opened the door. You were laying on your side—you had passed out. Due to your lack of proper medical care, he wasn’t that surprised. 

“Oh my God.” He got to his knees and pushed you off of your side to lay on your back. You weren’t sure what happened, but you got dizzy, lightheaded, and hot. You wore a baggy t-shirt and sweats and your forehead glistened with sweat. He picked you up from the bathroom floor and placed you into the middle of the room floor. In a slight panic, he pats your cheek a few times. “Y/n, wake up, come on open your eyes baby, you’re burning up....” He was trying to stay calm and you were slowly coming to. “Can you hear me? You’re overheated, you fainted...” He pushed your hair back from your face. You blinked heavily until you could somewhat see but as soon as you did that, you felt like you were being suffocated. You looked a little estranged but you were trying to get up, wincing and groaning with unsteady breathing.

You felt paralyzingly anxious. “I- I can’t breathe, it’s h-hot...” You managed to sit up and hold your hand over your chest. Your heartbeat was rapidly pounding in your chest and you felt a surge of hot air over your face. “I- I- I can b-breathe, I-...Can’t b-breathe—” You were starting to have a panic attack, hyperventilating and wheezing. It took him by surprise, for a second he was just staring at you, unsure of what to do. You were askance, almost wailing as you felt like you were having an out of body experience, a really bad one.

“Y/n, calm down.” He snapped out of it and grabbed your shoulders, looking you straight in the eye. “Breathe, Y/n, just breathe, slowly.”

“I- I can’t-...” You exclaimed. “I can’t!” 

“Shh, yes you can. Look, look at me, like this,” He inhaled slowly and exhaled even slower, “see? Nice,” He inhaled once again, “and slow.” He exhales. He waited for you to mimic his steady breathing, the tears that formed in your eyes began to stream down your cheeks as you panted. He held your hands until your breathing was suitable and then began to ease you to lay on your back. “Lay back, I need to pull these off ...”

“W- what’re you d-doing?...” You mumbled, looking up at him with a weak gaze. He didn't respond and he ran to the bathroom to come back with a wet washcloth. He knew he needed to get you cooled off and hydrated, so, he placed the cool cloth on your forehead despite your resistance. He had a feeling you were gonna give him hell for this part, oh well. He hooked his hands into the waistband of your pants and started to pull them off. You felt your butt touch the cold floor and you flinched. The crease in your brow made him a bit apprehensive to continue but he proceeded nonetheless.

“No...” You groaned, bringing your hand to his wrist to get him off but he pushed your hand off easily. You opted to pull your leg away from him. “Don’t...” He looked at your completely flushed face and he was sure you were just disoriented. He was literally trying to cool you down but your mind took it as something else...you didn’t think he was trying to?—that’s probably what you thought. Or, you were just shy, and having your pants on made you feel more in control over the situation, it gave you dignity.

“Stop that. You’re overheated, you need to cool down your lower body so your temperature can go down.” He explained. But you weren’t hearing it, you still pulled your legs away and tried to sit up and get away. 

“No, I don’t...” He realized that your face wasn’t just blushed from the heat exhaustion, you were just flustered. “Don’t...L- Leave them on...” 

“Hey...” He had to remember that the fastest route to mental and physical recovery is patience, be patient, be understanding, she’s been through a lot, be gentle, he chanted in his mind. 

“I-” He cleared his throat. “I understand, taking your clothes off in front of others is a little...” He mentally searched for the right words. “It’s a little embarrassing, yeah? I know...but it’s me.” He lightly rubbed your cheek as you tried to push back the tears of abashment and look away. “Hey, you don’t have to cry, it’s okay.” He thumbed away a stray tear and a frown came to your lips, indicating that you were about to start crying or pushing it back. 

“Don’t get yourself upset, I’m not ridiculing what you look like, I love what you look like. You need to trust me, it’s okay...” He soothed, seeing that you didn’t fight him when he began to peel them off of you. And when your bare legs met the cold floor, your body temperature immediately went down and you felt like breathing came easier. You lay there for a good 5 minutes, staring blankly at the ceiling as Jungkook massaged your cramped muscles. 

“I can get up now...” You turned your head to look up at him and before he answered he just inspected your face, making sure you were really okay. He nodded and took the cloth off of your forehead before getting up very slowly to help you to your feet. He acted as a stable foundation for you to help yourself up. You sat on the edge of the bed and your expression was loopy, kind of out of it as you attempted to get yourself back to reality.

“You have nothing to be sorry or embarrassed about, I hope you know that...” He said that suddenly, and you looked up at him, drenched with sweat and fatigue. He had a feeling you felt sorry for some reason but the person who was really sorry was him. “It’s not like you asked for this, you didn’t ask to be here but I want you here, that’s pretty selfish right?” He gave a dejected laugh, one you would hear not out of humor but in an attempt to bring light to the cold situation. “Right?...” He pressed his lips into a flat line. “I-...I don’t know what I’m doing, I’m trying but I don’t think I’m making anything better.” 

“I can’t stand to be in my own body...” You sniffled and you were visually shaking, your voice breaking with every little attempt to speak. “I hate it, I don’t want to be here, I hate this place-...I never did anything to deserve this, I just wanted to go home, that’s all I wanted, wh-” Your voice cracked. “Why did they have to-...” You were starting to get worked up into a frenzy. You held your hands to your face and tried to get yourself together, it started to get exhausting, crying over every little thing because you couldn’t express it in comprehensible words. Without a word, he engulfed you in a warm embrace, wrapping his arms completely around your body as your anxious shuddering refused to seize until he pressed your body closer to him. He held you flush against him, holding the back of your head as you melted into his arms. You kept reliving the psychological torture, you kept seeing it, you kept hearing it...It’s your fault, you did this to yourself, it’s all your fault. It’s my fault.

That’s when he started to hum a soft and slow melody, halting your tears out of surprise. You buried your face against his chest and the soft vibrations from his humming reverberated lovingly against your ear. He stood you up and you were still hugging his torso but you let it go when he took refuge of your waist, urging you to wraps his arms around his neck. His firm arm rested languidly around your waist while he took hold of your hand, holding it up as he began a gentle waltz. “You don’t have to cry, it’s okay...I used to dance with my mom when I was a kid. I’d come home from a bad day of school and she’d turn on some old slow song from the 60s or something and tell me to dance with her because she loved to dance. Knowing I could make her happy by dancing with her made me happy, maybe it’ll work for you?...” He started to sing softly, some old song you had heard many times before.

“Hm...” He nuzzled his face against yours and pressed his lips against your ear. The universe envied the moment you two shared at this very moment. The gentle thump of one heartbeat lulling the other into synchronization. Your love was but honey at the edge of a jar, dripping slowly after it had been poured out.  If he was needy for it he dragged his finger up the side to collect it. That’s how it felt to be fond of you. He looked down at you and you slowly looked up at him, his expression looked so sweet and you knew you looked a mess. Taery eyes, swollen lips, dark circles, with a bruise on your cheek that you knew was obvious. You brought a hand up to your face to cover it and he furrowed his brows a bit, before gently pulling your hand away. “It’s not unsightly Y/n, it’s a part of you that you didn’t ask for but it’s not ugly.”  He pecked the bruise and continued to waltz with you, now moving to the rhythm he set with the melody he sang.

“It feels ugly...” You bit your bottom lip at the thought of what you looked like.

“It’s not...” He sighed. “You look beautiful...I’ll kiss you and your bruises for as long as it takes to make you realize that...” His hand came up to cup your jaw and h dipped down to capture your lips, softly of course. He wasn’t trying to kiss away your problems, but God, it made him feel at peace. Knowing he could feel you just warmed him from the inside out. He tilted your head up and deepened the kiss, he opened wider and poured his heart into it. He had so much passion and love that just seeped out of him and into whatever he could get his hands on. More than often, he got his hands on you. When he heard you becoming winded, he slowly pulled away. “Do you mind when I kiss you like that?” He suddenly confessed. “I never really asked if you wanted to but it feels so right...”

“No, it’s okay...” You mumbled against his chest. “It’s natural...”

“Yeah...We feel something when we do it, you know, the butterflies in your stomach and fuzzy feeling in your chest that travels down to your feet. You seem to like it, it’s like you forget whatever made you upset so-...I don’t know, I guess I like knowing that I can at least make you feel good that way, even if it’s only for a minute...” He admitted finally, why that act of affection or physical touch, in general, seemed to be one of his go-to problem solvers.

“I know it’s selfish, but I can’t help it.” He had stopped dancing and just held you there as he tried to explain himself to you. “I like having someone that’s just mine, all mine...” He smiled, all his. That’s how he felt, and though you cared about him a lot, you were trying to live through this season of your life. 

“Jungkook...” You felt fine, you just couldn’t continue this conversation. “My stomach hurts...” He nodded, understanding that you wanted to rest more because of how physically exhausted you were.

“Lay down, it’s probably the medicine.” Jungkook was already in protective boyfriend mode so he just wanted to make sure you were comfortable and somewhat happy. “Don’t get in bed and stay up for another few hours, you should go ahead and sleep early tonight...” He reached into his nightstand and grabbed the first soft cotton t-shirt he saw. He grabbed the hem of your tear stained shirt to pull it off of you and over your head. He pushed the shirt over your head and you followed suit by pushing your arms through the sleeves before falling back on the bed to retreat under the covers. He followed your actions and got under the covers as well, laying on his side, caging you from the edge of the bed. Be wouldn’t let you sleep near the edge because you fell once, and that’s all it took for him to oppose you sleeping there. You had turned your back to face the wall and he took that as an invitation to spoon with you. This sleeping habit would quickly turn into him crushing you in the middle of the night when he wasn't completely out cold. He learned, entangle your legs and it’s unlikely that you’ll have to change your position. You were trying to connect the dots to his reasoning for telling you not to stay up late when it’s him who goes to sleep last. Suddenly, he turned lay on his back and you took that opportunity to lay closer to the wall but that was easier said than done.

“Come here, lay like this.” He grabbed your wrist to pull you halfway onto him, holding your waist when you sat up to question him. 

“Why?...” You knew the obvious reason why but you still wanted to know why.

“Shh, because...Close your eyes...” He pulled you down so you could rest your head on his chest and trap you in a bear hug. Since you said your stomach was hurting, he decided to rub your back to coax you to sleep. It was warm, he liked feeling the warmth of your whole body close to his, he loved it. His fingers rubbed loving circles and shapes on your back, lulling you into a sweet sleep with the gentle hum of his voice. You bunched his shirt in your fist and let your eyes flutter shut. Jungkook had a distinct scent that filled your nostril with a sense of home. The special part of your relationship was the fact that you two found a home in one another.