#btb response

Oh my Word, my dearest @winterrasden 💜🥰

What an absolute blessing and delight to hear from you, sweetheart.  You completely bowled me over. My reply took me a bit, not just because I keep stealing glances at your darling Kitty (still recovering from that 😭), but because I needed to re-read and process your words again after I was done mopping myself up off the floor – having melted into a puddle of pure and precious feels the first time around.

You went and did me in with your message.

But in the best and most beautiful way.

You hit me centre-mass, so forgive me if I’m all over the place in my response; I have no emotional Kevlar to defend my heart against the impact of what you wrote. I’ve gotta jump-start things inside my head that went blissfully offline whilst I was in full Floaty Feeling mode. Thank you for evicting me from my head and drop-kicking me into my heart – it’s a beautiful state of aliveness to be moved this way, despite my violent imagery…how else to describe how hard this hit me?

I’m going to try to organise my response…

I know it was like years ago the last I checked in, but I'm like a ghost that keeps visiting my beloveds.

I do so enjoy a good haunting. Thank you, my luv.

How are you? x3 How's your original projects? I don't mean to pry or anything it's just that I remember you suffered a big burnout and I'm worrying about you. ^^" The world is not an overly kind place rn (at least that's how it looks overall to me), so I thought it important to send you something positive.

You are so very, very sweet. Oh yes. A Big Bad Bitch of a Burnout. It’s had me seven times down, but I’m eight times up. Or at least I’m halfway into rising, swinging somewhat blindly as I go. Still, I consider that progress. Consider yourself a hand that's reached out to help steady me.  I mean that more than I can ever adequately express to you.  Thank you for your kindness. Sadly, you’re right…our poor dear world seems far more hostile than hospitable right now. Thank you for being a flame in the dark. Please know that your positivity hasn’t just been received, it will be paid forward.

BtB is still a huge part of my life, I know I told it to you repeatedly and sorry for being boring but it really had a colossal impact on my existence. Without BtB, I wouldn't be here today, I would've given up ages ago.

…I’m so fucking glad you didn’t. Please excuse my potty mouth. Boring? Oh, my luv, I promise you that nothing could be further from the truth. You’re not laying your gold at the feet of an ingrate over here. I treasure and value what you’ve given me with your message. Any writer graced with the blessing of knowing their words and their work helped a reader get through a dark night, or pass through a valley of the shadow? That writer is not the same after. Not if their heart is still operational. You don’t carry on normally after learning that. You can’t. It changes you. If readers only knew how much their words have changed me, helped me, gotten me through the stormlands when I’m seven times down. Your words impact my existence too, luv.

So thank you again for giving me this beautiful story with it's complex and compelling characters and your insanely clever plots, your hauntingly beautiful descriptions and absolutely wild emotional rides.

Goodness, thank YOU for reading it. For giving it sustenance. For giving ME sustenance. Thank you for helping me grow as a writer by engaging with a story that would never have been if not for readers like you, who took it into your head and heart. There is NEVER any guarantee of that. I’m so grateful it resonated with you and mattered to you. That love makes it worth the labour. 🫶🏼 

💓 I feel like you poured a lot of soul into your works and it somehow touched me more than anything I've ever read.

I did, I do…and now I don’t have words in any language to express how insanely moved I am by the fact that what I poured into my work touched you the way it did. That's alchemical and beyond my ken. 🥰

I really hope that life is kind to you and it'll give back what you already gave to a lot of people. Sometimes I have this mood when I just grab a cup of tea and sit down and just enjoy the fact that I can exist in the same world as you. It's really peaceful and comforting.

Thank you for your blessing, which is the right word, because it feels like so much more than a wish. I appreciate it. I also appreciate that my particular strain of madness can bring you some peace and comfort; and it’s a sentiment I echo back to you. Thanks for being here. For not giving up. I raise my tea and toast you, sweetheart.☕️

I'd never get tired of your words when reading so I really wish that one day, you can publish your own books. I'd be there to get my paws on them, hardcover and signed edition I hope.

Ah, from your lips to the gods’ ears, darling! 🩷🙏🏼 Publishing my stories is my intention, my goal, my reason to bloody be. Thank you (immensely) for your patience as I recalibrate and return to myself. I haven’t given up on my original works (nor shall I) and your interest and support in them means absolutely bloody everything!!!

And now....

⬆️ Basically me, reading your message, just about holding my British shit together (maybe)...and then you pull out a three-punch combo: Sweet Rescue-Cat Story + Moving Namesake (😭) + Squee-Inducing Picture....and I'm collapsing like some glass jaw jackass in an embarrassingly swift takedown. BUT CAN YOU BLAME ME? 😹Arrggh!!! That is such a perfect picture, and knowing the context makes it even more hard-hitting. 💕 I'm goo. On the floor. Unmoppable at this stage. Total ruination! 🫠 But bloody happy for it!

Thank you, Winterra.

Now...kindly take responsibility for the blast-radius of feels your impact left behind and accept the shockwave of love and appreciation coming your way! 💕🥰💕