fuck, i’m stupid. will keep you posted should that ever change.

#dc comics#dc#batman#dc universe#bruce wayne#tim drake#batfam#batfamily#dick grayson#dc fanart



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fuck, i’m stupid. will keep you posted should that ever change.

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Do you ever make plans and get really excited and end by saying, “it’ll be just like the old times!” And then afterward, realize: “I hated the old times. Why the fuck did I just agree to that?”
So, to summarize: I took a couple art classes as extras because I love creating and if I had to do a class, might as well, right? Overall, I've really enjoyed it, actually, even though it was only centered on drawing what is seen. Once I got used to drawing from sight, it was actually pretty easy to work along those lines, seeing things as shapes and colors in relation to each other.
I'm afraid that I'm becoming too dependent on sight, though. If I'm having trouble sketching something out, I find myself wishing I had a reference picture now and I feel like my imagination is slowing dying out. This was one of my biggest fears whenever I thought about being taught how to be creative. And it's coming true. Help.
In other semi-related news: just submitted a 1,000 word story I had to do for lit class. not only did I have to gather the courage to share writing, I also have a portion of my grade riding on it. I just felt the ground disappear below my feet. not that amazing of a feeling, it turns out. Let's just hope she likes slightly strange, slightly stream-of-consciousness stories? *paces back and forth* (Going to be a long night. If anyone wants to distract me from work and worry with a chat, I'm up for it.)
explained to a niece and nephew that snow came from a witch who was granted powers by the third brightest star in this particular universe.
Their father, who should know better by now, asked (skeptically) where that information came from. "Classified by the supernova alliance act," I explained. Next lesson involves aliens and human testing.
Yes, it's my hope that people will just be grateful that I don't want to have children. (Hey, at least I left out the part where the witch won it in a game of roulette.)
"Not everyone is a social butterfly, Mr. Reese. For some of us, human interaction is difficult."
"Not calling it ‘human interaction’ might help."
This Person of Interest quote I heard the other day is perfect for my awkward trudge through learning to be around regular people.
One time (it happens so infrequently that I can pinpoint it) I had a perfectly normal and lengthy conversation with someone. I was able to calmly exchange intelligent thought without spazzing or completely blanking/locking up as always. I left the room after that and did a brief happy dance and strode happily down the hall, not because of the subject matter or person, but because I was so proud of myself for carrying on a conversation.
I grabbed my ex-roommate later and excitedly announced. "I did something normal! Can I have a gold star on my chart?"
--And that notion of "normal" gets completely negated by my reaction. way2go.

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Day 1 starting art project that will receive a grade: Ahh! Can’t do it! I don’t even know how to start!
Day 2: All right, I think I’m getting the hang of it. Hey, I can do this!
Day 3: Nooo! I hate it. Let me start over!!
Day 4: *on floor*
critique day - teacher: oh, it looks so effortless!
HAHAHAhaha….’-‘
She also said, “You have a beautiful spirit that reveals itself in your drawings.” I was just disappointed. Artist types are known for being intuitive. I was hoping she would see that my spirit is as crooked as my drawings.
When the people who haven't talked to me in a long time because they do not like me suddenly text acting all cheery, I get suspicious.
"How are you?"
Why?! Why do you want to know?! Are you trying to figure out my coordinates to give to the snipers?
(But I just usually say, "Wonderful. And you?" because that's more socially acceptable. you know.)
Since I know someone is dying to hear about my random life moments, here are a few collections. Not particularly funny or important, but I just thought I'd let people know I'm alive. By the way, for blacklisting purposes, I will start tagging my random life moments with "BS Symphony"
A classmate said something that reminded me of Welcome to Night Vale. So, I asked him if he ever listened to it.
"Okay, stop right there. You have a tumblr, don't you?"
--Really? That easily placed? I feel caught.
The hard part was when he asked me what it was. "Uh... well..."
How do you describe it?
----
Told a classmate good morning. This person, who is always grumpy, flatly responded, “There’s nothing good about it.” Sometimes I like to act like an annoying optimist to these people just to see what happens. I draw sick satisfaction from it. “Well, the apocalypse didn’t happen. Sun still rose. I haven’t seen one zombie - today.” “What about when you looked in the mirror?” I… Deserved that. Possibly accurate as well. Don’t mess with non morning people. This is the earliest class I’ve taken and none of us are morning people. That’s why we rely so heavily on music.
Art teacher was looking for music suggestions to play while we work.
Classmate: "[prevaricators], you were here first. What would you choose?"
*looks at grey rainy weather outside and my lack of coffee mug* "Oh. Um. REM, Queen, or The Freelance Whales?" Go ahead, judge. I was quickly trying to think of something that would help my mood.
"Yeeeaa, I don't know any of those." Turns to teacher. "How about something chill?"
"Chill? Oh, I found a playlist called electronic chill. Let's try that?"
Electronic and chill seem like two different ideas. I don't know what qualifies as chill, let alone an electronic version, but that was a dark day for all of us.
One day, a classmate plugged in his device because our teacher left us without music. A person's music can say a lot about someone -- and there are some things I could have gone without knowing.
But then he played Gorillaz and all is forgiven. Who knew one could feel so powerful while scribbling?
----
A relative of mine has also taken from this teacher. When I finally admitted the relation, she was delighted. "Are all of your siblings talented and thinkers, then?"
"I guess so. Almost all of them are artistic in some way. It's difficult to live up to."
"Nah. Well, your mom must be doing something right."
I hummed in thought and smiled a little. It felt wry, but it probably didn't appear that way. I thought it was an interesting idea because artists aren't typically known for having pleasant childhoods. But I nodded and said, "Yea" because, at this point, who can say.