Course in Life (#bbrae #bbraeweek #brweekdaytwo)
Day Two: Family Hurt/Comfort
Hereâs day two. Hopefully this gets posted on time. Oh well, have some writing to do. Day four is going to be the hardest for me so I want to catch up on it. Love you all!
Disclaimer: I donât own Teen Titans.
They say that a personâs past defines who they are. What theyâre like. What they want to do in their lives. Their course in life in general, can be told from viewing his/her or past.
But for Garfield Mark Logan, AKA Beast Boy, this was anything, but true. As using his past to determine his course in life. Was as unpredictable as the unstable DNA that made up his very being.
As a child, Beast Boy was the son of Mark and Marie Logan. Two of the worldâs most well known biologists and geneticists. Other than that, he only had an uncle for family.
Beast Boy had fair skin, blonde hair, and blue eyes. He had been a carefree kid, who had loved to play in the very jungle his parents studied animals and plants in. He had been normal. He could have grown up normal. Maybe, he could have even become a biologist, or geneticist like his parents before him.
Only, one day, he had strayed too far from his parentâs camp. And came upon a green rabid monkey. And being young and innocent, or possibly stupid, he had tried to pet it.
The monkey had bit him, injecting the deadly incurable virus called Sakutia into his bloodstream. His scream of pain alerted his parents. But by the time his parents had found him, he had been slowly dying on the ground. The green monkey was nowhere in sight.
Out of desperation, his father had concocted a quick serum from animal genes, and injected it into his son in their tent. Both he and his wife praying to god over his shaking body that it would work. After a couple minutes, his heartrate had stabilized. And the fever that had taken him disappeared. They had hugged each other, thinking it had worked.
But no one can cheat fate without any side effects. As they saw to their horror, when their little boyâs skin and hair turned green. Followed by his claws growing from the ends of his fingers. Replacing the fingernails he had before. And canine like fangs replaced several of the teeth in his mouth. One of them sticking out of it on the lower left corner. When he had opened his eyes, they were curious emeralds. And not the blue sapphires theyâd been used to.
From that moment on, Garfield had been different. His course in life changed by one small green monkey. He still could have probably been a biologist, or a geneticist. Even with his newfound appearance.
That is, until his parents had found out about his powers. Of course, they had been intrigued by them, and had started to help him learn how to control them. Using the research they were gathering to try and find a way to cure their son. Given time, they might have been able to find a way to do so. Or at least, give him a better handle over his new powers when he got older.
Then came a day that would never leave his mind. Still didnât, to this day. The day that his course in life was permanently changed from following in his parentâs footsteps for good.
It had been a hot day. His dad had suggested that they go canoeing to get their minds off things. They had borrowed one from the locals. And had been having a grand time going down the river.
Until they had made a wrong turn. That had brought them towards a raging waterfall. Garfield understood his powers enough somewhat to save himself. But not enough to save his parents.
His parents had told them how much they loved him. To not be ashamed of his powers or appearance. And then forced him to turn into a small bird, and fly away. To watch from a distance as the canoe fell, and crashed into the raging water below the waterfall. Heâd spend hours afterwards, trying to find any trace of his parents. Screaming their names over and over again as if theyâd respond.
He never found them though. And had been forced to leave their remains behind in the area of the waterfall.
Years after, his life had continued to be as unpredictable as before. Having to spend two years with an abusive uncle who wanted him dead. Avoiding death too many times from the people his uncle hired to kill him discreetly. The fear he had to live with day by day.
This was followed by his years with the Doom Patrol. Where he found himself a second family in Rita, Steve, Larry, and Cliff. He trained under Steveâs guidance. Wanting to harness his powers to their fullest potential.
Steveâs strictness with him inside and outside of training, however, caused no small feud between the two. As Beast Boy was already working harder than ever to achieve mastery of his powers. Wanting to impress Steve and make him proud of him. While Steve always seemed to be disappointed in him. No matter the leaps and bounds he made in both training, and their fights against the Brotherhood of Evil.
Finally, when Beast Boy had turned into a T Rex. And Steve had the gall to lecture him for saving his teammates. Beast Boy had had enough. And had taken his leave from the Doom Patrol. The second family he had ever known.
When he reentered the world, his course in life seemed to be that of a lone wolf. A single vigilant doomed to be alone in his fight against crime. With him, only the knowledge he had of his powers, the burning memory of his past, and a mask to hide his face from the world.
These were what he brought with him when he met the people who would form the Teen Titans with him. Becoming yet the third family he had ever had. His course in life setting him as part of a team of crime fighters. So different from what his original past had promised him. Yet, something he didnât ever want to change.
But there was still the days, even when the team would celebrate some new villain being taken down, or when a new Titan joining the team, when Beast Boy would hide away in his room. Or some secluded spot in the Tower. As on these days, those memories from his past would be strongest. Both far gone, and recent.
The day his uncle had first touched his skin with a whip. The day he had quit the Doom Patrol. The day his parents had died. The day he had been bitten by the green monkey. The day Terra had first betrayed him and the others. The day he had found out about his inner darkness. The day when a girl that looked like Terra crushed his dreams of ever regaining his best friend. And few others.
They were spread throughout the year. Each one of them. So he had figured that no one noticed the days he was missing. As they were few, and far between.
His course in life finally seemed set. To be part of a vigilante superhero crime fighting squad. Second only to that of the Justice League. To be the comic relief on the team. To have friends. But never someone that could love him. To forever be alone on his darkest of days.
Beast Boy was sitting on the roof of Titans Tower. Looking out towards the setting sun in the distance. A sun bathing the sea in a ring of gold.
In his hand by his side was a crumpled up picture, one of the only material possessions of his original past that he kept. It usually rested in an old shoebox in his room. Under about an inch of dust that collected each year. Only to be taken out on this day.
The picture showed a tropical jungle in the background. A picture of a man and a woman in the middle. Holding a smiling, little, blonde haired, white skinned, overall normal boy on their shoulders. It had been taken the day before the monkey had bit him. The day he had still been normal.
Each year, heâd take out this picture, on the day his parents had died. He didnât know why he did so. As he had spent so many endless hours studying it. That he could even remember the small little ladybug that had been on a leaf behind the little boyâs head inside his mind without looking at the picture.
Yet each year, without fail, he did just that. Pulling out the picture to memorize it all over again in his mind. As if the sight of the picture itself would help give him some sense of peace. That their deaths werenât truly his fault. That his whole life wasnât truly his fault.
But each year, it failed to appease his mind. By the end of the day, heâd still be full of guilt and self-doubt when he went to bed. And then itâd be like his memories took over his dreams. They were always the same for the corresponding day.
Even though he was still watching the sunset, Beast Boy was already mentally preparing himself for the night. When heâd have to watch his parents die all over again inside his mind.
He thought all his friends were still downstairs in the main ops room. Relaxing the slow day of crime away watching some movie. While he sat on the roof and tried to find peace with his past. Even though he knew it would be pointless by the end of the day.
He raised the picture up to eye level again. Letting the light shine on it again from a different angle. Seeing if he could find any new details from the angle of the light.
âAre those your parents?â A gravely voice asked behind him.
He jumped out of shock. Almost falling off the edge of the roof. But still managing to hold on to the picture. Which he promptly put behind his back to hide from view.
âWhat are you talking about Rae?â He said back in a normal voice.
He heard a loud sigh at the nickname. âThat picture in your hand. Were those your parents in it?â
She was looking at him with no emotion in her face. He knew she was being serious with her question. Beast Boy sighed. âYes.â
She nodded her head. âWhen did you lose them?â
He looked at her shocked. And she just shrugged her shoulders. âWhat? Each year, on this day, you come up here to the roof to examine that picture. That leads me to believe theyâre either dead, or they left long ago.â
He relaxed his body. He debated with himself whether or not he should tell her or not.
âIt's⌠complicated.â He decided with for then.
âWhat do you mean?â She asked.
âIâm not entirely sureâŚâ he droned off.
âYou mean youâre not sure if theyâre dead, or still alive somewhere?â
The memory flashed in his mind. Of the canoe being torn to pieces at the bottom of the waterfall. The pool of red that had appeared on the surface above it. There was no doubt his that his parents couldnât have survived. He choked out his next answer.
âNo, I-I know theyâre d-d-dead. Rae. I w-watched it as it h-happened.â
She didnât seem to relax. But her eyes seemed to soften as she sat down next to him on the roof.
âWhat about you tell me about it.â She said in a soft monotone to him. He looked sharply at her.
âWhy should I tell you about what happened to my parents? And why are you so interested in them anyways?â He asked her, being defensive.
She didnât even blink. âLook who youâre talking to Garfield. Iâm pretty sure whatever your parents were like, they wouldnât even come close to mine.â
He blinked in surprise. Remembering the visit he had once with her father. That is hardly a memory youâre not ever going to forget. A shiver went down his spine. âOkay, you win. But why do you want to know about my parents?â He asked her.
She shrugged. âOut of all the others on the team, I know the least about you and your past. Besides the fact that you were with the Doom Patrol for some time. And that your real name is Garfield. Thatâs all I really know about the true you. Besides the fact that you sometimes disappear on certain days of the year.â
âCrap⌠I thought none of the others knew!â "Heh, well sometimes I need my alone days Rae. I canât be the happy jokester full time you know.â He said in a somewhat nervous voice.
Raven shook her head. âGar, I also noticed on these days, you go through a variety of negative emotions. Like today, all youâre feeling is guilt. About a month ago, you were feeling loneliness. And the month before that, betrayal. Some days itâs a mixture of the three.â
His ears fell. âSo what, I donât have my good days sometimes. Big whoop.â
She was staring hard at him now. Making him a little nervous. âBig whoop, you say. Was that what you told me Garfield? When I wanted to be alone in my room to dwell on my broken heart all those years ago.â She said in a cold voice.
He paled. âNo! Why would you think Iâd ever say something like that to you after all that pain that dragon had put you through!â
âThen why wonât you let me help you now! I thought I was your friend Garfield! I thought you considered the Titans to be your family! Why the hell wonât you let us help you out!â She said in a loud monotone.
Beast Boy seemed incapable of speech for a moment. Shocked at her outburst at him. Before he sighed. âI guess Iâve kept this to myself for too long now anyways.â
And so Beast Boy told Raven about his origins. Starting first at his parents, showing her the picture of them so she could have a visual. He told her all about his childhood. His life before being bitten by the monkey. How his parents had saved him, and inadvertently given him his powers. And stopped at the canoe accident. As fear and tears entered his eyes as he brought up the memory.
Raven squeezed his hand. Giving him the courage he needed to continue. He told her everything. Everything that he could tell her. And then he finished. And closed his eyes tight, expecting her to say it was his fault. He was already hurting so much again from explaining the memory so vividly to somebody else. Especially since that someone else was Raven.
Only, he was shocked when he felt a pair of slim arms wrap around him. Bringing him close to the warm body of Raven. But he didnât resist. And allowed Raven to hold him to her, as he returned the embrace. And started shaking as he finally allowed his grief to consume him.
âItâs okay Gar.â She ushered in his ear. âIt wasnât your fault. You couldnât have done anything for them.â
âBut⌠I could have turned into something big⌠*sob* or flew them off the river somehow⌠I could have done something!â He shouted. His voice filled with guilt.
âYou were just a little kid back then⌠no one could blame you for what happened. I wouldnât blame you for it. And the rest of the team here wouldnât blame you either.â
He sniffed. âHow would you know that Rae? Why would you think the others wouldnât blame me? I let my parents-â
She snapped at him. âGar! You did exactly as they told you to do! And saved yourself when they knew you would have died if you stayed with them! Is that what you think your parents would have wanted! To have you blame yourself each year for their choice! Their sacrifice!â
Beast Boy had no reply. Other than to cry harder into his friendâs embrace.
She continued to hold him to her for a few more minutes. Keeping him close while telling him over and over that it hadnât been his fault. He had done all he could. That they died, knowing their son would live on. Until finally, he stopped shaking. As her words seemed to finally touch that memory deep inside him.
He saw the falling canoe again. His parents frightened faces falling through the air. Until his mom had looked at where he was hovering in the air. And just before the canoe had hit the water, a small smile had been on her face.
âThey sacrificed themselves, to save my life⌠and they did it willingly.â
It was as if a huge weight had been lifted off his soul. One of many, but a start nonetheless. As the guilt that had been flowing through his system finally left. And a small smile appeared on his face. A real smile.
Raven finally let him go. Well, at least allowed him to move back a little. As her arms were still kind of around him. Just slack, so they werenât tight on his body anymore.
âYour parents loved you Gar. They loved you enough to sacrifice their own lives to save their kid. Despite his appearance, and his powers.â Raven said softly to him.
âDonât forget his amazingly good looks.â He said. Lifting his eyebrows at her.
Her face was emotionless as she replied. âWeâre having a moment here. Donât ruin it.â
He still had his small smile on. Looking at her with such innocence. That after a minute, she couldnât help it when a small smile graced her face. The sun was just a half disk over the water in the horizon now. Framing her face quite beautifully too the changeling. As he let out a sigh of contentment.
âYou know Rae, I canât imagine the last time I ever felt this good. On this day.â He said in almost a whisper. âI think I donât ever want it to end.â
âWell, you know what I suggest.â She said softly to him. He looked at her, seeing the smirk on her face. âNext time you hit an off day, as you put it. Donât shut yourself out somewhere. Talk it out with me, and let me help you through it.â
His smile grew. âYouâd really do that for me Rae. Youâd want to spend time with me at my worst, and help me through the most painful experiences in my life.â
âIf it means I get to see that smile each day⌠and not having to see you so miserable⌠Then yes.â
He couldnât help it this time when he hugged her. He expected her to tense up. But her arms only tightened themselves around him again. And they just basked in the dying light of the sun. Holding on to each other, as the pain of the day melted away.
Both of them were smiling. As both hugged the person they secretly loved. And who both hated to see when the other was down. This was truly, a moment both would remember for the rest of their lives.
And with that, Beast Boyâs course in life finally set itself on a straight course. A course through the life of a vigilant. Part of the Teen Titans. To help fight against the forces of evil.
Heâd have all his friends alright. But now, he had someone who stood above them all. A person he loved. Who loved him back. Whoâd help to make sure heâd never be alone again.
Now, if only theyâd confess to each other.
