#bruthalia

Hal looks at the other “guests” in Bruce’s room, a ripped guy he thinks might be from southeastern Asia, a woman from the Middle East who looks like she was carved by a master sculpture and a short haired woman who was the physical incarnation of lascivious behavior. He looks at Bruce, “What in God’s name do you see in me? These guys are way out of my league.” “And I’m in your league?” “Well no, but one is a mistake on your part, four is…”

So because I can’t get pole dancing Selina out of my head or hot mess Hal out of it either; Selina, Thalia, Khoa and Hal have a stripper pole off to impress Bruce. Obviously Selina rocks it at first. Thalia started off slow to get used to it but once she gets an idea on how it works, her body is moving on it like no body has any business moving on a pole. Khoa puts Magic Mike and Thunder Down Under to shame. Hal touches the pole, goes for a small spin and launches himself facedown off the stage. The other three understand why Bruce has to tap that.

I know it got retconned and Mar'i is an elseworld (also why did they have Damian marry his niece?) but imagine Talia bringing Damian around when he’s 8-9, Ma’ri being around 5-6 and Helena back when she was Selina’s and Bruce’s daughter being the same age as Damian. Those three would be absolute terrors and I’d love to see a mommy off between Talia and Selina. “Well my son has been handling swords since he was five months old.” “Well my daughter was able to throw her bottle into the sink at four months old.” And then Kori is just, “Ma’ri burped really loud in Dick’s face right before pooping a large amount into her diaper that smelled so bad that he threw up at two months.”