All Is Said And Done | Family Life
āAll parents damage their children. It cannot be helped. Youth, like pristine glass, absorbs the prints of its handlers. Some parents smudge, others crack, a few shatter childhoods completely into jagged little pieces, beyond repair.ā - Ā Mitch Albom
T H E Ā Ā F A C T SĀ
⢠The Bertschiās are a family of four; Peter (56), Patricia (52), Sawyer (22), and Imogen (19) ⢠Peter and Patricia may have once loved each other, but after having Sawyer and Imogen they stayed together purely because neither of them wanted custody of the kids ⢠Patricia spends most of her time flying around the world for work and is home for only a few months every year, while Peter lives in Palmdale full time but spends all day at work and travels occasionally to see how his ideas are being implemented world wide ⢠Patricia considers kids to be most closely associated to dolls; they were things you could dress up and play with when you wanted to, but you could also set them aside and ignore them for a time. What she didnāt realize was that unlike dolls, kids didnāt just stop when you werenāt around. ⢠Peter never really wanted kids, but had them because his wife wanted something to do. Not really knowing what to do with kids, when his wife lost interest he didnāt know what to do and hired live-in nannies to take care of the kids until they finished high school. He was raised in a military family and tried to instil the same values and beliefs his father had in his kids. ⢠Both kids, starving for attention and love, did everything in their power to get either parent to stay home for more than a few hours. Imogen aimed for perfection, and Sawyer went for causing trouble. Their parents didnāt respond to either tactic.Ā
T H E Ā S T O R YĀ
As a little girl, Imogen idolized her parents. She grew up believing that in order to have any self-worth, she had to be praised by others and her parents did a lot of praising. Every chance they got they would show off Imogenās musical talent by letting her play the violin at dinner parties for their guestās enjoyment. Everyone would clap afterwards, but Imogenās eyes were glued to her parents. If they werenāt smiling, she didnāt deserve to accept the praise of their friends.Ā
For all the attention Imogen was given, her parents rarely showed her love. Her parents slept in separate rooms and never touched, so growing up she had no real examples of showing someone you care. With both parents spending most of their time outside of the house, one with work and the other work and social events, the two kids were practically raised by the hired help. This could have been a blessing if their nannyās hadnāt been under strict orders to follow house protocol.Ā
Peter Bertschi ran a very strict household, despite rarely living in it. He believed that every action had some kind of punishment. Everything from colouring on the wall, crying in public, doing poorly in classes, or not eating your broccoli was a punishable offence. However, if you did something right, he was never really sure how to handle it. As a result, Patricia Bertschi handled the praise and rarely gave any out to Imogenās older brother, whom she believed could always do better. Sawyer dealt with their father more often than not, and one of the kindest things Peter had ever done for him growing up was a pat on the back once or twice. Typically, Sawyer was being punished.Ā
Despite her good grades in school and growing age, at thirteen her parents still treated her like a small child who couldnāt understandĀ ābig girlā talk. While they encouraged her brother to participate in the dinner conversation that often revolved around world conflicts, they expected Imogen to stay silent, shushing her when she tried to get involved. As they grew older, Sawyer was allowed more freedom to grow while Imogen was stunted. He was allowed to engage in conversations about the business, while she was meant to sit back and look pretty.Ā
For a while Imogen accepted this as the way life was. But then she realized she had opinions and she wanted to be heard. It wasnāt until her father told her she had no right to voice an opinion so different from his own and outright ignored her that she began to get angry. It was this shift in behaviour that ruined Imogenās relationship with her parents. Where she once believed them to all be so close, sheās now rarely invited back home for anything except the holidays and hasnāt actually spoken to her parents since last Christmas.Ā
As a kid, Imogen had loved her parents more than anything and had believed they loved her back just as much. Now, whether or not they loved her as much as she loved them is something she has yet to find out although she thinks she knows the answer.Ā












