#bromotions

Hank: Aaron Rodgers.

Johnny: Bullshit.

Stats: Who's-

Voodoo: Packers quarterback

Hank: I never told you about it because I was too ashamed.

Johnny: You never told me about it because it never happened.

Hank: Remember when I was earning extra cash as a set medic?

Johnny: Yeah.

Hank: I worked on a commercial for some lame potato chip company, and Aaron Rodgers was in it.

Johnny: Oh, of course he was. Dick.

Hank: Yeah. Anyway, in the commercial, he had to catch a pass from a little kid.

Brian: I love that commercial. That kid's so cute. Read he was a problem on set, though.

Johnny: Where would you read something like that?

Hank: Mmhmm, little shit had an arm. And on the first take, Rodgers wasn't prepared for it. Caught the ball wrong. Dislocated his middle finger on his right hand.

Johnny: His throwing hand?

Hank: Yeah. And if I hadn't popped it back in right then and there, he would have missed the NFC title game when they beat us to go to the Super Bowl.

Johnny: 2010. Holy Shit, you son of a bitch. That little kid actor would have been a goddamn American hero, and you... you ruined it. I can't even look at you right now.

Hank: John, you just saved a man who most certainly has blood on his hands.

Johnny: That has never been proven, but you know what has been proven? You, Henry Isaiah St. Clare-

Brian: Isaiah's your middle name? So regal-

Johnny: Brian. You... cost the Bears the Super Bowl.

Hank: Thank you, Brian. Cutler's knee cost the Bears the Super Bowl, and Jimmy O most certainly has blood on his hands, his arms, his-

Johnny: You don't get to wear Bears gear anymore.

Hank: It has been four years, John.

Johnny: You don't get to wear Bears gear for four years.

Hank: Uh, you don't get to tell me what I get to wear. And another thing, he was nice.

Johnny: You take that back.

Hank: Ellen Degeneres nice.

Johnny: Take it back!

Hank: Nice, nice, nice.

Hank: How much is he paying you?

Johnny: What?

Hank: How much money is he paying you?

Johnny: Nothing.

Hank: How much, John?

Johnny: He was crying, man. Real tears. He was, like, begging. It was sad. I mean, he really likes you.

Hank: How much money?

Johnny: A months rent plus free HBO.

Hank: No Showtime?

Johnny: And Showtime!

Hank: Well, you ain't getting shit, 'cause I ain't calling him.

Johnny: Hey, I told him that I would say something to you, and I said something. I get free rent and cable no matter what you do.

Hank: Fine.

Johnny: Fine.

Hank: Good for you.

Johnny: Good for me.

Hank: Mhmm.

Johnny: It's just, look.I know I said some shit about this guy, but that was probably more about me than it was about him, and I just want you to know that I'm gonna be cool with whoever you choose to drink Gatorade with.

Hank: Oh, screw that. If I'm dating a douchebag, I want you to tell me I'm dating a douchebag.

Johnny: All right, you were dating a douchebag.

Hank: Come on, man. This woman is clearly on her own. You know how hard that can be.

Johnny: Yeah, but why do you get to take her?

Hank: Seniority.

Johnny: Oh, please.

Hank: Reparations.

Johnny: That's why I give you rides to the airport.

Hank: I helped you move into your new place.

Johnny: I gave you pizza and beer.

Scott: Ha! Feels pretty good to be dead.

Stonebridge: You need a hand?

Scott: Nah. It's a work in progress.

Stonebridge: So, where you headed?

Scott: Well, I was gonna take Finn on some historical, cultural, educational trip.

Stonebridge: Ah, which means?

Finn: Vegas, baby!

Stonebridge: I though as much.

Scott: What about you, Mikey? Back on civvy street? What are you gonna do?

Stonebridge: Shit, Damien, I don't have a fucking clue.

Scott: Yeah, well... If you need me, Vegas is that way.

Stonebridge: Yeah, don't worry about it, mate. You're not gonna die here.

Scott: That sounds good, but my lack of ammo, my leg, and my stomach are telling me something different.

Stonebridge: I got movement.

Scott: Fuck. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Faber: Hold your fire!

Stonebridge: White flag.

Scott: You're kidding me. (aims gun at Faber)

Stonebridge: Hey, what are you doing?

Scott: I'm gonna take him out.

Stonebridge: No, don't take him out yet.

Scott: Why is that?

Stonebridge: It's a white flag.

Scott: It's not a white flag situation.

Stonebridge: So, what is it?

Scott: Some guy, happens to be waving something that's white.

Stonebridge: Yeah, we do. But you have to do me a favor, mate. You need to stop bleeding.

Scott: What do they say? Those that live by the sword, die by the fucking thing? It's been a long time coming.

Stonebridge: You really need to conserve your energy.

Scott: Yeah. Relax... You know, the first guy I killed in battle... I was shaking, trembling. I even threw up.

Stonebridge: Yeah.

Scott: When did that stop? When did this all become normal for us, Mikey? Long time coming...

Stonebridge: Maybe not. Cause you're gonna make it through this, huh? You're gonna survive, and you're gonna go home.

Scott: Back to the real life? Paying bills? Mowing the lawn? Stop at a fucking red light?

Stonebridge: (laughs)

Scott: I can't see that happening.

Stonebridge: And being a father to your son.

Scott: After the shit I've done? Sure.

Stonebridge: No. My problem is that you'd happily get us killed without thinking things through.

Scott: What's there to think through, Michael? They killed the boss. They murdered him. You happy about that?

Stonebridge: What part of you thinks I'm happy about that? I'm trying to keep us alive.

Scott: What, by running away like a pair of fucking cowards?

Stonebridge: Call me a coward again one more time, mate, see how that fucking works out for you!

...

Stonebridge: What would he say about our situation? What would the boss tell us to do?

Scott: Fuck off!

Stonebridge: What would he say, Scott?

Scott: Shut up, Michael!

...

Scott: He'd tell us to stop shouting at each other like a couple of school girls. He'd say we're outnumbered. We need an escape route. Passports, cash... He'd tell me that three bullets weren't nearly enough.

Stonebridge: That's pretty much the way I see it, too. Problem is we can't call for backup.

Scott: CIA has hidden weapon caches all over Europe.

Stonebridge: What are you thinking?

Scott: We need to find a phone.

Stonebridge: Well, let's find a phone, then, eh?

Stonebridge: Well, to tell you the truth, I'd rather not get into it with them.

Scott: We hand her over, it's game over. Take her in ourselves, Ridley'll roll out the red carpet.

Stonebridge: Since when has that ever mattered to you?

Scott: It doesn't. Matters to you, though. It's your life, Mikey. I'm willing to screw up a lot of things but not that.