#broken cas

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Summary: After Dean said "You're dead to me", and while they watch the flames of Mary's pyre burn high, Castiel thinks about his releation ship with Dean - during the change of seasons, in an emotionally overloaded way.

Words: 340

Notes: Another sad Destiel-piece to make your heart cry... but I needed to write it from my soul. The idea for it hit me as I took my first steps in the autumn-breeze and realized, that summer is really over now...

Winterhearted

Oh autumn How you overcome me Rubbing your chilly air against my skin Sends shivers down my spine In the rhythm of the bitter truth And I realize for sure That summer is already gone

Leaves speckle lonely tarmac roads After painting colored masterpieces Upon forest’s rawest canvas Fulfilling human eyes with sweet delight Reminding them of nature’s greatness

But who’s left to remind me Why I am still holding on Constantly struggling to redeem When hope is nothing but a word Empty, stolen, washed away In the dictionary of our never ending fights

So when the deep standing sun Shines into my blurry eye light It only makes me freeze And the coldness creeps around me Sealing my faint grace

Welcome, winter of my heart Would you come and knock me down For I deceived the one I love Never will I be whole again And I realize for sure That he's already long gone

And so my deeds fall down on me Like a living shadow It’s the eclipse of my life When you turned your back on me Telling me I’m dead to you Unavoidable and overdue That you smash my heart to pieces And I know it makes me drown In failure’s darkest ruthlessness

Oh autumn How you play your winds around those flames Devouring what is left of her I wished it was me up there Drawn away to nothingness A little chance to burn away The snow that settled on my lonely heartfield

Of course, I don’t believe you’re done Your heart, it cries, it’s screaming for me Your self-destructive violence only shows That you are worth to love Yet I didn’t dare to take the step To bridge the void between us And I see my courage fades away As the seasons changed upon us

Like a flower withered to its death Becoming one with rock and soil The thought of you and me – together at long last Will remain an endless downswing According to my winter-hearted forecast Just another dream of spring.

***

Thank you so much for reading, guys! I know you must be sick of the “You’re dead to me” - thingys... but I couldn’t help it. <3 Don’t kill me.

I’m tagging my poetry-queens and lovely stars: @verobatto-angelxhunter, @all-or-nothing-baby, @galaxy-charm, @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover, @peanutbutterandgrapejelly, @shealynn88, @mishezza, @trenchcoatsandfreckles, @didnt-survive-twist-and-shout, @petrichoravellichor, @destielhoneybee, @demonsofhunting, and @cloverhighfive (haha, I know poems are not really your jam, but here ya go anyway LOL) :D