#brittany garms

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Every writer knows the phrase, “So, when are you gonna write about me?” We’ve all heard it, and we’ve all made those half-hearted promises to immortalize our friends with paper and printer ink. Of course, most everyone forgets those conversations, and when our friends do show up in our work, it is a happy accident – or perhaps an unhappy one.

Brittany Garms: Writer, Director, and Actress in “Natalie Portman: The Musical!”

But Brittany Garms is not most people. Three years ago, the Orange County native joked that she would write a musical for a friend, a comedic epic following the life and times of the girl’s celebrity doppelganger, Natalie Portman. It began with a song, cleverly titled “The 11 o’clock PM Pacific Standard Time Showstopper,” but better known as “I shaved my head for this role.” With friends Frankie Maroney and Tara Pitt collaborating, Garms took this song and built a wild, 90-minute romp of a show: Natalie Portman: The Musical!

The show thrives on sketch-comedy vignettes, each addressing a significant moment in Portman’s career, from being “discovered” as a child in a pizza shop, straight through to her Oscar win for Black Swan. Natalie (played by Tara Pitt) acts as the straight man amid the absurdity around her, through scenes about Star Wars, Sesame Street, and Harvard University. “All the facts are correct,” Garms explained, “We’ve just embellished the whole thing.”

One of the most delightful aspects of the show is its self-referential charm. Garms has no qualms about addressing plot snags or even resorting to plain self-deprecation (at one point, Natalie gestures to the audience and tells her agent, “I don’t think we’ve lived up to their expectations”). Brittany even mocks the idea of musicals themselves; the chorus performs a number bemoaning their underappreciated role in the show, and the finale song has all the elements of a “traditional showstopper,” though the lyrics beg you to ignore the casts’ shortcomings.

And Natalie is not the only celebrity available for your comedic pleasures. Jodie Foster makes an appearance (played by chorus member Lindsay Nesmith, whose vocals practically blew the roof off the theater), and the entire show is (reluctantly) narrated by a brilliantly acted Samuel L. Jackson – because, as Brittany says, “It’s always funny to have one actor who’s pissed to be there.” Malik Aziz’s performance as Jackson is well worth the price of admission (I got chills when he started quoting Pulp Fiction).

Tara Pitt as Natalie Portman

So what are the highlights? Well, there’s the Sesame Street sketch, wherein a scorned puppeteer tells Natalie how he really feels (through his puppet, of course), the Black Swan scene, in which Darren Aronofsky (played by Garms herself) tries to make the film “more marketable,” and the song that started it all, Portman’s (Pitt’s) tender ballad,  “I Shaved My Head for this Role.” All in all, Natalie Portman: The Musical! is a fun, funny adventure into the life of an actress we all thought we knew so well. The show is currently in it’s final weekend at LA’s Chromulume Theater, and I suggest you have a look – you’re sure to have a laugh.