#britishstarr

Hey, no problem, I’m glad to explain things to folks who are confused, and not just looking to play White Knight in my inbox. 

This is a bit of a tangent, but related to this situation, I think: it’s really gross when people try to avoid blame/dodge anger by saying things like “I almost had a panic attack due to your anger (from when I was mean to you), you are cruel and to blame for my anxiety!”, which is what Admirall-halsey and her friends did.

Here’s my deal: people have anxiety. Anxiety sucks. But you can’t then use your anxiety/depression/suicidal thoughts as a “get out of jail free” card when you are an abusive asshole. Because here’s a fact: anxious/depressed/suicidal people can also be abusive assholes. The two are not mutually exclusive. And sometimes, abusive assholes try to use their anxiety/depression/suicidal thoughts as an excuse for why they are assholes, or should not be held accountable for their asshole actions. Avoiding responsibility is also an asshole thing to do!

But sometimes, people get into this headspace where they think, “my friend did a bad thing, but they have anxiety! They shouldn’t be called out on it, because it will make them feel anxious!”, and that is a huge misunderstanding of the situation at hand, and a huge disservice to their friend. 

Because when you say “hey, you have anxiety, so I won’t call you out or say what you did was wrong,” you’re basically saying “I’m going to cripple you in all of your future social interactions by not holding you to the same basic common decency standards that everyone else is held to.”

If someone has anxiety, that doesn’t mean we should mock that, or imply they are weaker for that, or purposefully try to trigger it; that’s equally an asshole thing to do. But on the opposite side of the spectrum, you can’t preemptively absolve them from all wrongdoing by nature of their mental state. You can’t claim “help, I’m almost having a panic attack!” to try and avoid taking responsibility for your actions, because that makes you a Gigantic Asshole.

Cowards can't handle it when people stand up for themselves.