#bringit2018

Today I realized, that I have been unintentionally hiding from people.

Specifically, I have been hiding my creative process from them, and it has been preventing me from moving forward with my work and my own practice.

For some reason, I thought that when I create movement, I could only do so when I’m totally alone, and preferably in some kind of cozy studio so that I could “focus” properly. Silence, emptiness, solitude - you can see the formula. But over time, this seemingly rational idea instead lead me to ponder and procrastinate more than I needed to, and create additional imaginary barriers for myself like “not having space” to move and create.

Honestly, I feel like “moving” (when I say move, I mean dance, but the word dance has a ton of stigmas attached to it that I won’t delve into now) in a non-designated public space such as a nightclub, is a bit of a strange act, and it can draw a lot of attention to a person - sometimes very unwanted attention, particularly as a woman.

What I didn’t realize is that there are some magnificent public spaces where few people pass through, but reside in enough of an intersectional open yet private place that individuals won’t bother you, and there is enough “alone” time to focus inward, and make some magic happen - so to speak.

The second thing that I have to note here is the importance of letting go of social stigmas that make one feel uncomfortable when people watch you move. Sure, I’m out here doing some extraordinarily strange stuff, but I am being totally true to what I need and what my body needs, and therefore I don’t really care if you think it’s weird. I’m not looking for attention - in fact quite the opposite - but when individuals break the norm attention is often what they get regardless, and you have to be OK with that.

The third amazing thing about this practice is that it’s totally free - and for a recent graduate with a lineup of new financial responsibilities this realization is a liberating blessing, and could be similar for others on a tight budget, or those who just appreciate saving money on fitness or mindfulness.

I’ve found my space, and it is glorious. It’s outside in a public park surrounded by what might be some of the oldest trees in Seattle. The space is large and enclosed by a fence with a gate, and isn’t often used in the wintering months. Score!

Today I gave my all out there, and it was incredible. A few people passed by on the wooded path next to the space, but I was neither bothered nor gawked at. I was able to warm up, make a phrase of movement, and improvise for about an hour - the kind of routine I truly need in my life right now.

This place, and places like it, are way better than any studio for several reasons:

Truly fresh air - provided by the amazing Pacific Northwest trees and foliage surrounding the area.

Inspiration surrounds you - sounds, sights, and beings (for me it was several crows roosting in the tops of the trees).

Being in public keeps you on your toes - I found myself hyper-focused and more aware of my body without a mirror to confuse or distract me. The focus was internal instead of seeing and judging - myself or others. 

You’re at the mercy of the elements, in a good way - whatever happens outside when you’re out, is something you get to experience viscerally. If the wind blows while you’re moving outside, you can move with it or choose to push against it. If it’s raining you can sweep water with your feet, or flick it with your fingers, or watch it fall quietly. This added elemental level is incredibly meditative, and allows you to be much more involved with the environment you find yourself in. 

You might get Insta-Famous? This is probably my least-favorite reason for doing this, but you never know. If you’re giving it your all, and some random stranger decides to film it and put it on the internet, you’re at the mercy of technological elements as much as you are at the mercy of natural elements. #goforit

The moral of this story is that I am so excited to get out there again, prepared in my rain gear because it’s probably gonna be a wet one.

Also, this is an incredible opportunity for me to continue to learn from myself, a new journey I’m on now that I’m out of school and no one is telling me what’s right or wrong. For me, these are lessons in listening; listening to the wisdom that comes from the inside, that quiet place where creativity simmers and new possibilities lurk. Learning to be bold, and to be OK with people’s opinions about it because I’m doing me, and I hope you will too.