#brindleby

Speedpaint of Finch, Passerine and Sparrow, I hope you enjoy!

Journal of Passerine Abbernant, year 976 Post Seperation

To be read only by my successor

1/22

If you are reading this, hopefully it means that the oracle was correct, and 203 years have passed between the writing of this document and the time of my death, when I will succumb to heart failure on the eve before the full moon.

I have yet to take on the full responsibilities of my new role, given the 10 day mourning period between my instatement and the passing of the previous sayer, one Carnelian Zapodidae. As I’m sure you’ve noticed through your time at the academy (unless you are not my successor, in which case I kindly ask you to return this account to where you’ve found it), there is very little in the means of interaction between sayers, leaving little room for guidance. Given that I will be dead before you take my place, I have decided to keep this journal as a means of circumventing that fact.

As things stand, my official inauguration is in one week. The circumstances required for the change are a bit difficult, given that my heritage renders amputation impossible. This leaves only the choice of sacrificing one of my senses. I’ve found a bit of a work around for this step, finding that the standards allow me to sacrifice just my depth perception instead of both eyes. This part of the change will be difficult, as it’s one I must complete alone, but it’s much easier than trying to fully remove my own eardrums or vocal cords in exchange. My younger siblings, Finch and Sparrow, have been especially anxious about this step. I’ve asked the oracle to keep an eye on them while I recover.

1/29

It’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s too loud it’s

2/03

No one told me it would be this much, not even the oracle. I haven’t spoken to her since I started, though, so maybe she can only see what she would see? Look into later. I haven’t left my room since I became connected. Every noise and feeling is amplified through thousands of ears and eyes and hands, my entire body feels red and raw and it’s too loud far too loud there is a bird singing on the opposite side of the forest and I can hear him, it deafens me, the feet of the townsfolk upon the saplings and ivy of our woods is a thousand tiny needles upon my stomach and I can hear them whispering about me I can hear it

Sparrow came to check up on me and I had to tell them to leave, their voice was so loud and no matter how much I try to block out the sounds and sights and smells and feelings they come back tenfold, i can feel the vibrations on the earth, the water in our roots my roots the forest’s roots, i think i’m going to go crazy. How do i see and hear from plants when they have no eyes or ears? Needs further clarification.

My one saving grace for this has been Elliot, he is quiet and gentle and his scales are cool on my overheated hands. If this is my mourning period and you do not have a pet you should get one, preferably a snake.

2/15

You’ll have to forgive the state of the previous two entries. I considered redacting them entirely, but felt it best that you enter that particular transition period with more warning than I did. Although I still have not left the quarters that have been passed down from sayer to sayer, I have managed to at least leave my bedroom - it’s a very tidy kitchen, I’m sure Finch will want to make use of it when I’m accepting visitors. My fever has cooled substantially today; I may try going outside.

Update; bad idea, take smaller steps.

3/01

Finch and Sparrow were less than pleased to see the state of my eye, or rather the scars around where it used to be. It appears my stitching work was somewhat lacking. They’ve had the kind people of our hospital take over what remains of the healing process, namely trying to remove the small amounts of infection that have laid home there. The nurse did note that it’s far less than she would have expected, though - whether that is luck or a perk of my new connection, I am not yet sure.

3/05

Now that I’m accepting visitors again, Finch and Sparrow have been switching off shifts to stay with me overnight. Though it’s thoroughly unnecessary, I won’t deny that their worry for me is heartwarming. That being said, I seem to have given Finch a bit of a scare - they came into my room while I was asleep to bring me a fresh bandage and found me sleeping with my remaining eye wide open. They say that I must have been having a nightmare, since I was rambling quite a bit in my sleep, although they didn’t catch specifics. Since Sparrow notes that they’ve heard talking from my room at night, I’m going to work on the assumption that this is a nightly occurrence - I’ll have one of them record my words once they’ve both calmed down a bit.

Edit; reading back through my notes, it’s worth mentioning that my sleep schedule has changed drastically. At this point, 2 years after this entry, I typically require 8-10 hours of sleep once a week. Late nights are a wonder for efficiency when you can use them correctly, and it’s a unique feeling to find yourself wide awake when the world is at rest. The tallest spire on the city walls has a great spot for stargazing, if you can bully the guard on shift out of it. Finch is usually the one in that spot, so it hasn’t been too difficult.

3/07

I went outside today. There were a good deal of whispers when the townsfolk thought I was out of earshot, though ‘out of my earshot’ doesn’t seem to exist anymore, at least not inside the bounds of the surrounding ten miles. Pleasantly, most of them were more worried for my well being than particularly mean-spirited. Though, I do envy the way Finch and Sparrow walk among them like part of their own.

As someone who attended the academy, I suspect you understand the feeling. Even before being nominated and connected with the heart, we’re a bit of an urban legend. Though the academy is not very forthcoming to the social aspects of childhood through early adulthood, I suggest you do what you can to make a few close friends. They still have one weekend a month where you’re free to leave campus, I presume? Use it. I spent most of mine studying.

4/13

I’m starting to remember what I did all of this for.

A young boy went missing, outside the walls. Obviously I can’t leave the city limits anymore, but I saw him. I was able to send the search party to his exact location, where he’d gotten lost picking blueberries. Seeing him returned to his mothers was a wonderful feeling. Definitely one I like better than the paperwork aspects of this job, though city maintenance is what keeps this from happening more often.

Still, though. It’s nice to feel like a guardian rather than a beureucrat. 

5/09

It appears my new connection has boosted more than my immune system (though I haven’t had as much as a runny nose since my fever cleared). Sparrow came over the other night and pitched quite a fit about the state of my cabinets; everything was months out of date, and I hadn’t even noticed. It made me realize, I haven’t really cared to eat since them and Finch stopped staying with me every night. This wasn’t exactly what Sparrow wanted to hear, I spent a good twenty minutes in that kitchen listening to their scolding. 

However, this next bit did lead to an interesting discovery: in some attempt to prove that my habits were weakening me, even if I did not realize it, Sparrow challenged me to an arm wrestle. The trial didn’t exactly go as planned, I wrenched their arm clean out of its socket before we could truly begin. The heart seems to be boosting my physical strength as of late, even if I do owe Sparrow a thorough apology. I am glad it was them, though. They carry just as much displacer blood as I do, and I can’t help but think of how ugly the situation would have been with any of the townsfolk.

6/15

That idiot, that idiot that idiot!

I knew I never should have let Finch join the guard. Mother was a fool to ever let them leave the city walls, I told her it was looking for trouble I told her! I’m putting in a formal rejection for Sparrow’s application for the guard tonight. They’ll be just as good inside the walls as out.

That idiot! They’re one of two people I’ve been telling about what this means, how it is to be the sayer and what I’ve seen and heard, and they try to hide this from me! 

*the remaining parts of the page have been blacked out with heavy ink, and the next two pages have been ripped from the binding*

6/18

Finch and I have both taken some time to cool down, though there’s still an animosity between us. Since they’ve done nothing strictly illegal, and the fact remains that they’re of an age where the goings on of their day to day life are no longer my concern, I have, for now, agreed to drop the subject. Though they have been warned that the second I have reason to believe this matter concerns the safety of the city, I will be personally taking measures to eliminate the threat. In the meantime, I will be keeping an especially close eye on their patrols.

I include this passage, however personal, because it felt relevant to warn you of this sort of situation, where you may be pulled between your duties as a leader and your duties as a person. I will add to this entry when I have clear cut advice for this scenario.

10/01

This is the first hunting season since my innauguration.

With all the power the heart has granted me, there was precious little I could do. The roots do not call to me the way they usually do when I try to prevent these atrocities. I can’t help but feel that my own cowardice is to blame.

Finch tells me that the city walls always feel tighter during this time of year, and I’m inclined to agree. Not that they could actually move, of course; the branches that weave the walls would only be able to be moved by me, if anyone, and my attempts to enlarge the city have proved unfruitful. My guess is that the roots are too deep and too old for me to transport in any meaningful way.

The space does feel smaller, though.

10/09

Fights keep breaking out, I’m losing my head trying to break them all up at once. With everyone crammed within the walls until it’s safe to come out again, tempers and rations are short. Things will get better when this time ends.

10/18

A young man has been captured by the hunters.

He was a naga around Sparrow’s age, from one of the outer villages outside of the walls. Casualties during hunting season are not uncommon, but there’s been more uproar about a monster in their prime being successfully culled. There’s nothing I can do for him now. His relatives are urging me to organize a rescue mission, but how can I send anyone else into that kind of danger? It’s doubtful he’s even still alive to save.

I’ve made it very clear that, even if conditions within the city walls are not ideal this time of year, evacuations from the outer villages are not optional. I fear we may have to start turning people away at the gates soon, though; we’ve run out of places for folk to sleep.

10/31

Hunting season is over. I have never felt such relief in my life

11/03

Something strange happened today. I was set to organize a funeral for one of the few bodies we were able to recover from hunting season, when the topic of what to do with it came up. When the family started to discuss cremation, I found myself upset beyond reason.

Burials are traditional in our culture, of course, but I never believed I had any strong opinions on what others did with their dead. Reason or no, at that moment I felt absolutely outraged that this man's body would go anywhere other than back into the earth.

I owe the family a thorough apology. I’ve asked Sparrow to conduct matters concerning the dead until I figure this out.

1/01

I’ve found out what’s been happening to the monsters the hunters take away.

I cannot let the people know they’re still alive. They’ll demand we rescue them, no matter the cost, and still the cost will be too much.

Speed paint of Fennel! Hope you like it!

Eep!

WIP of Fennel in his Monster form! Enjoy!!

The idiots in color! From left to right we have Finch, Passerine, and Sparrow, all of which are dumb fucks in distinctly different flavors