#breathestretchflow

“Optimist: Someone who figures that taking a step backward after taking a step forward is not a disaster, it’s a cha-cha.”― Robert Brault

We were gathered at one end of the rink as Elin was describing the next pattern. Take off on left outside edge, cross over at 6 o’clock, and then hold to your starting point, cross over, and then glide forward again towards 6 o’clock to start the next circle.  As she was describing it, she quipped “I so love this pattern. I always want to forge forward but it reminds me that sometimes it’s two steps forward and one step back.”  

And I glanced around to see if anyone else heard it...right there in the freezing cold rink, the truth bomb.  Did anyone else hear it explode?

Looking back at my life thus far, as I often do, I notice a pattern of events and feelings resembling the activity on an EKG monitor.  I’m the mother of an autistic teenager and countless times we’ve reached milestones, only to see what looks like regression three months later.  My journey teaches me that growth is rarely linear and often does not happen in any predictable way.  For every peak, there’s been a valley. For every leap forward, there’s been a stumble backward—sometimes just an inch, and other times, what seems like miles.  We’re given the message every single day in both subtle and not-so subtle ways that we need to always be moving forward in life; that we need to keep our eyes focused on the destination, process be damned.

But just as tides ebb and flow, there is a continual back-and-forth movement in the trajectory of our lives.  Our best-laid plans can fall short or, for whatever reason, not come to fruition. Taking a step back periodically is a natural and sometimes necessary component of life. It can help us replenish and build the inner strength and courage to meet life circumstances. The key to our growth as human beings is the ability to welcome the backward movements when they come—as they inevitably will—and learn from them, rather than allow discouragement to stifle our spirit and motivation.Despite the bad rap “the past” gets, it will always be an integral part of who we are. While the world tells us to be ever fixated on getting there, I wonder if this mindset actually hinders growth. I wonder if the time is better spent focusing on developing the inner skills to navigate these timeless currents, and recognize that they’re part of the growth process, not a departure from it.

As I glide backwards to my starting point on my exhale, I admit to myself that the journey we are on is long.  A road with many turns, patches through dark so black that your soul begins to lose faith in the sun. I know my legs will burn from the hills I must climb and the weariness of seasons of unrest.  And I also know that this is part of the process of growth. It’s here. It’s here where we discover magic. It’s here where life happens, one breath at a time.