#breaking open

*

Staff ushered them to the tents after they showed their passes and soon came face to face with rest of One Three Hill and several other artists milling about.

“Blaine!” a very enthusiastic Dani greeted him. Blaine barely had time to give her a sheepish smile before she leapt right into his arms. She was just short of vibrating and when they pulled apart, he saw Elliot reaching out for Kurt, messing up his hair after a short embrace.

Kurt batted his hand away and pulled Blaine closer to him where he could offer his hand to Elliot.

“It’s nice to see you,” he greeted politely and hoped his hand wasn’t shaking. Elliot grabbed his hand and pulled him into a one-armed hug.

“You too, man,” Elliot smiled easily, he seemed to do every little thing effortlessly. Blaine returned to Kurt’s side. “And thank you, for giving Kurt back. He has been outrageously busy these last few days.”

Blaine burrowed deeper into Kurt as his boyfriend rolled his eyes.

“I spend too much time with you two as it is, Blaine is just a beautiful, welcome distraction,” he looked into Blaine’s eyes with a teasing glint in his gaze, making him feel warm all over.

“Stop it, you horn dogs – we have a setlist to go over.”

Kurt teared his gaze away from Blaine. “Ugh, Dani! Tell him we’ve gone through it a thousand times; we need to rest until our time’s up.”

The three of them delved into a discussion of setlist and rehearsal time as they walked deeper into the tent, Blaine following awkwardly behind, Kurt’s hand still joined with his.

Seeing Elliot again was like a blow to Blaine’s chest. He could (almost) brush off all the guys at school that tripped over themselves to get Kurt’s attention but Elliot – he was Kurt’s best friend, they got along perfectly. Elliot was funny and smart and cool, he was unfairly handsome, tall and had a head full of thick luscious hair, and Blaine was – he didn’t even want to go there. Blaine couldn’t even begin to measure up to someone like Elliot who – to top it all off, spent a lot of time with Kurt. He didn’t know how long he had left before Kurt realized he would be better off with someone else but he was sure that seeing Blaine and Elliot in the same room wasn’t helping.

Blaine wished he could disappear, find an excuse to get away from their increasingly heated argument and his increasingly loud thoughts. He looked left and right, scanning the place for something to do when a tap on his shoulder made him turn around.

“Marley!”

His shoulders slumped in relief at the sight of his friend in a sundress with tights and a pair of ankle boots, miles away from the dressed down outfits she chose to wear to school, Blaine thought it suited her.

“Told you I’d be here,” Marley smiled sweetly at him before greeting him with a kiss on his cheek and a hand on his arm that told him she was there for him.

He turned to introduce her to the others, noticing a stutter in her step when she went to kiss Dani hello and the girl’s interested glance. Blaine was sure his own smile was splitting his face in half. He would have to ask about it later.

He disentangled his arm from Kurt’s and walked beside Marley to catch up with her, letting the band talk songs and places and cues.

*

The event started with a flurry of activity, a generously sized crowd that cheered for the opening act and Kurt’s tongue down his throat.

Kurt had started by saying that if Blaine didn’t hold him in that exact moment he would combust, he would be unable to go out and perform. Then he had massaged Blaine’s scalp so nicely and when Blaine looked up at him, their lips instantly connected.

They were in a relatively secluded spot, waiting for One Three Hill to be called on stage so Blaine wasn’t as preoccupied as he could have been considering they were moments away from acting rather indecently in public.

“Should I bring the hose?” Elliot’s voice seemed far away; Blaine couldn’t be sure of what was happening around him with the way Kurt sucked on Blaine’s tongue.

“I think they’re sweet,” Dani’s comment was followed by a hearty chuckled from Marley. Blaine blocked their voices and took the time to appreciate his boyfriend’s hands on his waist, bringing them closer together.

At a particularly loud cheer from the crowd they separated, both of their lips bee stung, theirs chest heaving with exertion. Blaine looked around to find the other’s exasperated but gentle faces, Kurt’s beautiful one coming into view. He planted the most chaste of kisses on Blaine’s lips.

“Shit, we’re next,” Elliot grabbed Kurt’s arm and dragged him away from Blaine to get him to the stage. Kurt sent him a cheesy wink before exiting the tent.

Blaine and Marley followed them outside slowly, going to the area next to the stage reserved for guests and staff. They could see the band perfectly, taking their places, nodding to one another before Kurt introduced them and Elliot started them off with a song by A Great Big World.

Blaine made sure they cheered and clapped the loudest after every song, Marley even singing along next to him with her sweet voice. They had a good time, and the even the crowd seemed to like what they saw too.

There were a lot of flashes and whooping. Blaine felt so proud of Kurt – of everyone up there.

Marley teased him gently when the group sang a cheesy love song, leaded mostly by Dani but Kurt had a few lines and he took a few seconds to find Blaine’s eyes and sing to him

“Only you can set my heart on fire.”

When they finished their (much too short, in Blaine’s opinion) setlist it was really no surprise that the crowd cheered loudly and asked for more. Dani, Elliot and Kurt took their vows, let the band do the same, said thanks and skipped down the stage, huge grins and vibrating energy around them.

Kurt beelined for Blaine and hugged him tight, laughing, so pleased and amazed. They re-entered the tent for water and some snacks, Kurt’s arm safely across Blaine’s shoulders. They congratulated each other, raving about every detail. Marley was listening enraptured to a very excited Dani and Blaine’s heart melted.

“After party at mine’s!” hollered Elliot, earning himself high fives and whoops all around. Kurt told him they had more friends in the audience so they would get invited as well. It was natural to celebrate the band’s success.

They were getting ready to leave when Kurt pulled him aside, holding Blaine’s hands.

“I want to celebrate this,” Kurt told him softly, still radiating vibrant energy, but he was calmer now, his body language relaxed and exuding confidence, the way Blaine could only wish to be.

“Then let’s go, I might get overwhelmed, but you deserve it,” Blaine said honestly, he wanted more than anything to support his boyfriend.

“I want to celebrate,” Kurt repeated looking at Blaine with an intensity that had Blaine pinned to the ground. “But I don’t wanna go to Elliot’s place.”

A bell rang in Blaine’s mind, he was trying to understand, he was pretty sure he understood but still, it didn’t make sense even if it did. He waited for Kurt to explain, he could barely move.

“Hey,” Kurt had stopped him before he went into the classroom he was supposed to take his first exam in, took hold of his hands. He had quickly caught up on how anxious Blaine got about everything. “If you know, you know, and if you don’t you can learn from it.” He had looked at Blaine in the eye and cupped his cheek, Blaine had been enthralled. “What’s important is what you learn, what stays with you, the skills you get – the grade doesn’t matter.”

“What if I didn’t learn anything,” Blaine had whispered to him, only half joking.

“We can study more later,” he answered teasingly, with the smallest hint of heat shinning in his eyes.

He had left after planting a sweet kiss on Blaine’s forehead. Blaine had physically felt his heart eyes following Kurt until every other student had gone inside the classroom.

Blaine bit his lip to stop the manic grin that had taken over his face at the memory and took his phone out to text his boyfriend (boyfriend!).

He had barely opened the messaging app when a pair of hands covered his eyes from behind and a wisp of hairspray and Tom Ford enveloped his senses.

“Guess who?” was whispered into his ear. Blaine played along.

“My favorite boyfriend?”

“No – I was a kidnapper, but I’m offended, I thought I was your only boyfriend.”

The floor was swept off his feet as Kurt spun him around with a teasing frown on his lovely face and an indignant huff.

“You are,” Blaine conceded stepping closer into Kurt’s space. He put his arms around his boyfriends’ neck. “You’re also my favorite.”

“I better be,” Kurt muttered before kissing him in the middle of the hall.

They exited the school hand in hand, Kurt rambling excitedly about the concert he had that evening with One Three Hill. Blaine thought he was so cute when he got excited, but he couldn’t help but feel a little apprehension squeeze at his heart at the thought of the concert. He was so happy to see Kurt perform live but his last experience with One Three Hill’s concerts hadn’t been stellar. It would also be the first time he saw Elliot after getting together with Kurt. That wouldn’t be fun at all.

At least this time he had made sure he had emotional support in the form of a friend with him in the audience. Marley wasn’t getting away from this.

The walk to Blaine’s apartment was short. Kurt was almost vibrating with pent up energy and it transferred to Blaine, making him fidgety. They had barely gotten on the elevator when Kurt pulled him into a searing kiss, frantic and deep. Blaine was blindsided by it and he could only open his mouth to allow Kurt to take his mouth as he pleased before the elevator doors opened to his floor.

But it hadn’t been a dream and he (hopefully) wasn’t crazy. Kurt was tangible and real, and he said he wanted Blaine.

His relationship with Kurt was so new, unexpected. Blaine’s mind was still reeling from their first kiss, he was barely processing all the kisses that came after it. And there had been a lot of kisses. A lot.

He couldn’t have enough of Kurt’s mouth on his, their hands roaming, their gasping breaths mingling. It was like a dam being broken and once he started, he didn’t want to stop. 

Luckily, Kurt felt exactly the same. Kurt being his ‘study-buddy’ meant they stayed at Blaine’s and took out all of their schoolwork, books, laptops – laying them all over Blaine’s living room and then forgetting about them to make out until their lips were too sore to continue.

In the week following their first date they didn’t go out anywhere, could barely fit a few hours of actual studying for their exams when they were inevitably getting distracted. Kurt had it easier, most of his presentations and evaluations required practice, not reading the same texts over and over, so he got his work done at school. But Blaine, he had most of his midterms as written tests and when he wasn’t getting eaten alive by Kurt’s talented mouth, he was panicking over every exam, every step in his choreographies, every note on his scales.

It was one of the most stressful weeks of his life, the only light at the end of the tunnel being Kurt– Kurt and his beautiful smiles, reassuring words, searing kisses. His cool, calm demeanor that eased Blaine’s worries long enough for him to absorb the information he needed from his books, to answer every exam question as intelligently as he could.  

Kurt who pressed him down on his couch and took his mouth fervently, coaxing Blaine’s lips open and pushing his tongue inside, effectively making him forget anything school related. In Blaine’s mind there was only Kurt.

“You’re coming to the Central Park gig with me, right?”

Blaine registered the question but could barely make sense of it. Kurt had his hand in Blaine’s hair with a vice-like grip and he was gasping against the sensitive skin of his neck.

“Huh?”

Kurt sat up enough to look at Blaine in the eyes making him let out an embarrassing whimper at the sudden distance. “Central Park. One Three Hill . I’m pretty sure I told you about it.”

He had his eyebrows adorably furrowed and his breathing was labored – because of Blaine, he had done that to Kurt Hummel. He felt proud.

“Of course I’ll go with you,” he rushed, he wanted their lips moving together as soon as he could.

“Awesome,” Kurt smiled, and resumed kissing down Blaine’s neck. “I had already asked Elliot to get you a pass anyway.”

Blaine tensed momentarily at the mention of Elliot but ignored the uneasy feeling that bloomed in his chest and let out one of those little moans that Kurt seemed to like a lot.

Slowly, each one of his sense started functioning properly again. He could hear their labored breathing, the traffic around them; could feel Kurt’s strong chest beneath his palms and Kurt’s arms enveloping him tightly; he could still taste Kurt’s lips on his own, and he saw, more striking than everything else, Kurt’s eyes boring into his, an electrifying blue color surrounded by spiky eyelashes, trying to read him, to figure him out. Maybe Kurt was trying to make sense of everything, like Blaine was struggling to. Maybe Kurt was as incredulous and confused, he had to be. How the two of them made any sense in any world?

“There’s nothing to understand,” Kurt said in the small space between their faces, so soft and sure. Blaine could only hope to have that certainty one day. “I like you.”

He had to be dreaming. Blaine had to be dreaming. He scrunched his eyes shut and took a deep breath. He had to fight every other thought running through his head that told him to get away as fast as he could. Kurt was a good thing, he was a miracle almost. He didn't want to run. He opened his eyes to find Kurt’s beautifully expectant face and tried to be brave. “I– I like you, too.”

Kurt was kissing him again before he could take in the beauty that was Kurt’s inhibited, relieved smile. Blaine clenched Kurt’s shirt tightly in his fists as he was brought closer by the waist. He focused on kissing back, on letting Kurt know without words how much Blaine liked him– wanted him, had wanted him since he first saw him but always thought he couldn’t have.

He could have never imagined a better first kiss, or second, third – or however many Kurt was planting on his lips.

He pulled back slowly, tentative in their last press of lips. He didn’t want to stop, to be away from Kurt’s heat but somebody’s sneeze resounded too loudly beside him. He was brought back to reality, suddenly aware of his surroundings, of being out on the street kissing a boy like his life depended on it.

He stepped out of Kurt’s embrace embarrassed.

“God, Blaine,” Kurt breathed. He had an adorable rosy tint high on his cheeks and his eyes sparkled. He reached for Blaine’s hand and tangled their fingers together, heat trapped between their palms. Blaine’s hand fit perfectly in Kurt’s. “Not so bad for an impromptu first date, right?”

Blaine looked at him wide-eyed.

“This was a date?!”

His embarrassed shock was subdued by Kurt’s tinkling laugh and the kiss he pressed on Blaine’s forehead.

It was like a dream come true to spend his time getting to know him. He knew he could use some new friends, and the distraction from his permanent state of anxiousness over the future was beyond welcome.

Also, he really wanted to be Kurt’s friend.

He went home immediately after saying goodbye to Alessia, going in his head through every item of clothing in his closet. His first thought went to a perfect pair of blue chinos that barely fit him anymore. He sighed, quickening his pace, he really needed to stop eating every sugary treat he could get his hands on or none of his clothes would fit him anymore and that would be tragic.

Once in his apartment, he threw his bag and outerwear on his sofa and ran to his bedroom. He took his time in carefully picking the perfect outfit for an outing with a friend in the city’s autumn weather: a simple yet classic combination of a purple polo with cornflower blue pants neatly rolled at the ankles, a stripped bowtie and his grey parka, perfect for the cooler winds that went through the city after the sunset. Topping everything off with a pair of his trademark boat shoes.

Of course he wasn’t about to return to his Acting 101 wearing all that so he left his outfit laid out on his bed and chose a more comfortable ensemble to put on after he showered.

The thought of skipping crossed his mind but his perfect attendance record at Dalton and a prep school sense of responsibility prohibited him from entertaining that thought for more than a few seconds. Even if he knew he wasn’t going to hear a word his teacher said.

Once in class, he allowed his mind to wander, thinking about what someone like Kurt would want to do on a Monday evening. Blaine didn’t know the city that well to think of places to visit or food to try. Well, no, that was wrong, he did know his food very well. He hoped they wouldn’t go to have dinner though; those blue pants were tight enough as they were.

Time passed more quickly than he could have imagined, and he realized he had spent the lecture daydreaming. The second the teacher told them they could leave Blaine leapt out of his seat, intent on arriving to his house as fast as possible until he remembered he had to wait for Kurt outside school.

He had Kurt’s number, but he wasn’t about to text him, he could wait patiently. No need to seem desperate or clingy.

Kurt arrived when most of his classmates had left the building, greeting some people along the way. Blaine was painfully reminded of how sought out Kurt was at school. He would be just another of hundreds of faces that Kurt had to say hello to out of politeness.

“Are you ready to leave?”

Blaine was blinded by Kurt each time he saw him, had to remind himself to breathe. He quickly nodded.

“Awesome,” Kurt said as he walked down the steps, Blaine following close behind. “Now, I won’t tell you were are we going but I want you to trust me, alright?”

Blaine found himself disarmed by Kurt’s smile. “Of course, but–” he stopped Kurt from taking another step before they walked any further. “I– I kind of have to go to my apartment. I need to change out of these clothes.”

Kurt’s gaze immediately traveled down his body, making heat flare up in Blaine’s cheeks. “You look fine to me,” he said, reducing him to a puddle of goo.

“I– I–” he didn’t know what to say. He had chosen that outfit very carefully. Kurt was quick to catch up on his hesitance.

“It’s alright. We can swing by your apartment Blaine, but believe me, you really do look adorable right now.”

Blaine couldn’t stand looking straight at Kurt’s honest, handsome face. He was always so earnest and beautiful. He sighed in defeat, forgetting all about the clothes he had picked. Jeans and a cardigan from last season would do.

*

It became very clear where they were headed after three blocks walking side by side.

“Really, Kurt? You’re taking me to Times Square at rush hour?” he laughed, though he kept walking. It was an exciting prospect.

“Well, you did say you had only been there once, briefly,” Kurt said pointedly, nudging Blaine’s shoulder with his own. “And it’s a Monday, how bad it could be?”

“I’m guessing pretty bad.”

“You still have to go, take it all in,” Kurt huffed before giving Blaine a smile. “I don’t go too often but it really is beautiful, to stop and see the signs, the people. It reminds me of why I came to New York in the first place.”

Blaine dropped his eyes to the sidewalk. He thought they had to be definitely friends. It made him feel warm all over.

“If you stop to take it all in in the middle of Times Square you’re gonna get hit by every other passerby.”

“True,” Kurt’s laugh was melodious. “But I could hold on to you, they can’t take down both of us.”

He was sure there were fireworks exploding in his heart.

*

Kurt was right, and it was one of the most beautiful sights Blaine had ever seen. The setting sun painting the sky a warm rosy tint, the screens lighting up everything around them, tall buildings wrapping them up in a cosmopolitan embrace.

Blaine was right, and it was packed full of people. The swarm of tourist threatened to separate them but Kurt held onto Blaine’s hand so he wouldn’t get pulled away. It was lucky the cold masked how high Blaine’s body was burning.

Being Kurt’s friend was going to be the wildest ride he had ever been on.

After getting their fair share of photographs and street food they walked back towards NYADA’s campus as Blaine’s apartment was only a few blocks away.

“It’s so lucky you live that close by. It will be less torture not having a commute over an hour long.”

Blaine thought about his dad’s indifferent behavior towards him, his urgency about getting Blaine out of Ohio and out of his life the only reason he had paid for Blaine’s apartment. He didn’t feel lucky at all. Still, he glanced at Kurt and gave him a small smile.

“I guess,” he murmured. He didn’t want to unburden all his traumas in Kurt that soon. He had had so much fun with Kurt, he wouldn’t want to spoil it. He tried to find the words to ask him on another outing in the city, another opportunity to spend time together. Sightseeing was so much more fun when you had someone to share it with.

Blaine’s building came into view, and a feeling of urgency came over him. It was pathetic, but he really wanted to be Kurt’s friend.

Kurt stopped in front of the building’s steps, facing Blaine.

“I really enjoyed myself today, Blaine,” his voice was so earnest and sweet. Blaine didn’t know how to ask him for friendship without sounding more pathetic that he already felt.

“I did too,” he said in a small voice. He couldn’t look at Kurt in the eye. He was so much better than Blaine. Had tons of friends to spend time with. Blaine had nothing to offer him.

“Blaine?”

There were tears swimming in his eyes. Why couldn’t he hold it together until Kurt left?

He liked to entertain those thoughts. Those thought were a welcoming distraction from Blaine’s increasing uneasiness about his college life. He had hoped that after the first month and a half of school he would have been more settled into the life the city had to offer but it was proving to be more difficult than anticipated. He still felt untethered, unprepared, unsure about the future. The loneliness hadn’t faded away, even with Alessia’s quiet companionship or Sam’s calls. He still worried about every single damned thing. His life was still a mess. He wondered where was the perfect life he had been promised by every rom com he had watched as a teenager. Wasn’t it all supposed to be easy after moving to the city of your dreams? Thriving in college, finding your soulmate, working towards your rather accessible goals?

Luckily, classes were only challenging enough for Blaine to really have to give his best without overwhelming him. It would be the icing on the cake that on top of everything else he would be flunking school.

*

He felt more at ease the next time he had class with Kurt. Not perfect, not suddenly at peace with himself, but better. Kurt wasn’t going to laugh at him, he probably wasn’t even going to talk to him at all. Blaine didn’t feel the usual overwhelming pressure that came with sharing the room with an overwhelmingly gorgeous person. Kurt was his acquittance– friend. It wasn’t weird or stalker-ish that Blaine chanced a glance towards him every now and then, especially when Kurt decided to be a spartan and take his shirt off like it was nothing to walk around half-naked for class practice.

“Is that drool?” Alessia asked with mirth in her voice.

Blaine took his eyes off Kurt and glared – playfully – at the girl. She wasn’t completely forgiven for bailing on him at the concert. Except she was. She was too cute, damn her.

“I hope you know I don’t like you right now,” Blaine told her, lifting his sword and planting himself in an offensive stance.

“I do know,” she smiled. “You like Kurt too much to like anyone else.”

“What–”

“You two have shirts, you’re both athenians,” the professor’s voice suddenly boomed beside Blaine. The man grabbed him by the shoulders and pushed him towards the center of the room. “Work with Hummel.”

Blaine came to a halt in front of Kurt. Of a very almost-naked Kurt. A Kurt with very, very nice soft-looking skin and a deliciously defined torso and a pair of very amused eyes.

“Not to sound like a Christian Grey wannabe but you should really stop biting your lip like that,” was Kurt’s greeting. Blaine’s felt his cheek flaming. He wondered why he had to always end up a blushing mess in front of Kurt.

His heart didn’t stop trying to beat out of his chest through his throat the rest of the exercises by Kurt’s side. His bulging biceps were a big, big distraction that led him to almost fall in every combination of moves they practiced.

And that vein, god. That vein that went up through his right shoulder. Blaine had so many thoughts about that vein.

“Blaine?” Kurt called for him. Blaine prayed that Kurt couldn’t tell he was having so many dirty thoughts going through his head.

“Yes?”

“I was asking you how you got Stage Combat? As a freshman? It’s usually an upperclassmen class”

Kurt was so cute with his inquisitive face dripping with sweat. Blaine was so far gone.

He willed himself to focus. “Oh. Madame Tibideaux gave me special permission. It was the elective that fit better with my schedule.”

Kurt was stunned for a second. Sweaty and disheveled was such a good look on him. “She let you choose?”

“Yes?” Blaine didn’t understand Kurt’s disbelief. He had only asked the Dean for a change of class. Kurt remained silent as they went through the motions of attack and defense with their swords and shields.

“You know, Blaine. I saw you at your freshman presentation at the Round Room. You sang beautifully – Cough Syrup – I don’t think anybody at a school full of theater geeks was expecting that.”

Blaine stopped his movements. He didn’t remember Kurt there. Of course he had been too nervous to see beyond Madame Tibideaux’ impassive face.

“I thought you were a star,” Kurt continued. “Madame Tibideaus must have thought so too.”

Kurt gave him one of his sweetest smiles like it was nothing, like Blaine deserved them. He was looking at Blaine with such openness and... admiration? Blaine didn’t know how one person could render him speechless with that much ease.

Blaine let out a relieved breath when Professor Bauman wrapped up the class. Being in Kurt’s presence was hard for him. Small steps, gradual exposure, he could deal with that. Kurt took both their props and took them to the room’s storage, letting Blaine go ahead to retrieve his things.

He saw Alessia waiting for him at the door but before he could go to her, Kurt caught up to him.

“So, Blaine,” he said, hiking his messenger bag higher up his shoulder. “What do you say – when you get out of your next class, we could go for a walk together or– dinner if you want.”

Kurt had this expectant face, like he wished for Blaine to say yes. Blaine didn’t know how Kurt thought he had the ability to say no.

“I know it’s a Monday but the we wouldn’t be out too late if that concerns you.”

“Kurt,” he said with his heart pounding heavily. It didn’t feel like small steps, it felt like a huge leap. “I’d love to.”

Kurt grinned excitedly and instructed Blaine to wait up for him to get him outside campus at five before he dashed out of the classroom, dissapearing in a matter of seconds.

Alessia materialized next to him.

“What was that about?” she asked, curiously studying Blaine’s incredulous face.

“I have no idea.”