#breakforth

Your favorite character to write this year?

Diluc and Kaeya for sure, with Ayato and Xiao being close runner ups.

The character that gave you the most trouble writing this year?

apart from ocs, probably ayato. that man's skull is impossibly thick, and even when i feel like i've got the hang of it he fights me so hard. all the time.

What’s one pairing you want to explore next year?

hmm...i don't know what the future holds! i'm open to possibilities. i want to write more diluc/childe, especially smut, because they have a delicious dynamic for that. i also want to write more diluc/kaeya/albedo. and i really want to maybe commit to writing a scara/childe fic because my friend and i have been committed to them for months and i have not written fic equivalent to my obsession with them lol. but who knows! maybe something completely different happens.

thanks for the asks :)

Lies, lies that I couldn't see I couldn't see that the liar was me And so I flew away with myself I was the beast all alone in my hell

I’ve been working non stop lately and it was nice to take a break from all my hustling and hang out with God.

The entire weekend was filled with learning, stretching, listening, loving, and coming with an open heart. I came to this conference expecting to receive. I was at the very brim of my cup and barely hanging on and I desperately wanted God to fill me up so that I would overflow with .... I wasn’t sure what I wanted God to bless me with. Overflow me with coffee? I guess that would help me keep awake and have energy to keep trekking on.

But instead, God filled me up with healing. My heart felt broken, the wounds still felt fresh and I was a child that was working hard on building walls and climbing into my own little world. I have been more and more distant with friends and loved ones and I felt content with that.  But that’s not what God asks us to do. He asks us to go out and love. Love everyone. Make everyone you meet a love encounter. Make sure everyone knows that they are called, rightfully so, the beloved. 

Christians pray dangerous prayers - that’s something I always believed. That’s why I’m always careful when I pray to the Lord. Because I know prayers will be answered and God will answer them in the best way possible. I’ve always been safe  with my prayers. I’m a person who likes to have a plan. Someone who looks at all possible outcomes before choosing a path to walk on. People would call me a safe person and I was never offended with that statement.

But this weekend - I prayed what I would call a dangerous prayer.   I said to God “continue to break my heart.”  and if that wasn’t enough I added “break my heart for the things that break yours.” I prayed that prayer throughout the weekend and I’m waiting for the feelings of regret to sink in, but they haven’t. I feel at peace with that prayer. What that prayer means to me, is that I break down my walls. I break my walls down and continue to go out in the world and love so hard that it hurts. It means I’m going to try really hard to see the face of God in the people I encounter. It means I’m going to connect with people, and hear their stories. Stories that will make me smile and shout for joy, and stories that will make me cry and weep. It’s going to be exhausting. I’m going to stumble, fall, be upset, be human, probably will give up too. But that’s just me as a human, and God built us with resilience  - so that we can get back up again and try again and that’s God’s grace.