Brainhack: How to deal when you have Wasted All Your Time
Duke Here. Iâve been adulting with ADHD for a few years now, so I figured Iâd share some tips for when you just Wasted A Ton Of Time You Shouldnât Have Wasted/Generally Screwed things up.Â
Not to be too Neurotypical here, but I find that mindset can actually help a good deal.
No, not âPositive Thinkingâ. If youâve got two days to do something that should have taken two weeks, no amount of smiling and looking on the bright side is going to help you. The key isnât optimism, itâs stubbornness.Â
Step 1: Accept that the Task is important. Seems simple, but itâs not. Often, when youâve Wasted All Your Time, itâs easy to say âAh well, I guess this thing isnât happeningâ, and you have to fight against the urge to say âThis isnât worth doing at this pointâ. So, step 1 is to make sure The Thing is worth doing (This could be a very short step), get that shit over with right away. Also, itâs very possible that, at this point, The Thing just ISNâT worth doing. The rest of this process is not a pleasant one, and you shouldnât put yourself through it for something thatâs not important. So, weigh the pros and cons, and decide, once and for all, Does This Thing Need to Happen?
If you have a big pile of things to do, this is where you start cutting. Order them by priority, and anything that doesnât make the cut gets left behind.Â
Step 2: Start from the Present. Sometimes you need to get things done without enough time to do them properly. Sometimes this is your fault, sometimes it is not. But, at this point, WHY you ended up in this situation is NOT IMPORTANT. You may have spent the last four hours watching Youtube videos about Ducks, but from this point forward, youâre trying to achieve your goal. Take all that guilt and shame and put it away for now. Youâre not dismissing it, youâre just dealing with it later. Imagine that you are blameless. Approach the problem as if there was literally NOTHING you could have done to avoid your exact current situation. Because it doesnât matter. If you passed step 1, then it means that doing the thing is more important than kicking yourself.Â
If at any point you find yourself spiraling out of productivity, restart from this step.Â
Step 3: Fulfill your needs. This can be done concurrently with Steps 1, 2, and 4. Those steps are primarily Mental, while this is mostly a rote physical step. Take a shower, go for a quick walk outside, eat a sandwich, straighten up your room. Anything urges or distractions that will be nagging at you moving forwards should be cleared up. Itâs tempting to dive right in, but spending ten-fifteen minutes taking care of yourself now will save you time later. Eating now means youâre not constantly debating about whether or not you can afford to eat later. Taking a shower now means not feeling miserable and disgusting later.
Step 4: Identify the Ideal Outcome. If youâve really Screwed Up that thoroughly, chances are you canât achieve your initial goals. Thatâs fine, the important thing is that you get the best result possible from this point forwards. Letâs say you were planning to bake two cakes. Well, One cake is better than no cakes, a bad Essay is better than no essay. If a Bad Essay is the best you can do, then thatâs what youâre doing. At this point, you need to set aside any thoughts of pride or ego. You might be turning in a flaming pile of garbage, but itâs the Best Dumpster Inferno you could manage at this point.Â
Step 5: Count your Spoons. If youâre in this situation, thereâs a good chance that you have a limited amount of energy to work with. Caffeine and Spite will only get you so far. You may be tempted to think that you can go past your limits, that you are an unstoppable productivity machine capable of overpowering the limits of this weak flesh by sheer willpower alone, but thatâs Ego talking, and as we established in step 3, there is no room for Ego here. Certainly youâll be pushing yourself, but it doesnât help anybody if you crash and burn halfway through the project. Donât count on all-nighters if you know you canât pull them.
Think of it as assessing what resources you have available. If youâre writing a paper, and you know you can work for four hours straight, thatâs a resource. If you have a friend willing to help you with editing, thatâs a resource. If you know that by treating yourself to a milkshake, you can keep yourself motivated and focused, Thatâs a Resource. Know yourself, so you know what you can do. Â
Step 6: Make your Plan: Now that you have your goals and your resources, make your plan. Donât make it too elaborate, with the pressure on, there can be a temptation to try to precisely plan things out, but that can just lead to you wasting time. You may be tempted to try to make A Perfect Plan, but thatâs just Ego talking, itâs another way to procrastinate. Get the plan whipped up quickly and get to work.
Step 7: Execute the Plan. Get to work, do the shit that needs doing. If you find yourself in the zone, ride that as long as possible. Otherwise, when you feel a natural break point, take a minute to recharge. Get some water, change your music, gaze wistfully out the window.Â
Donât underestimate the power of the Placebo Effect here. Iâve been constantly saying âDonât let your Ego get in the wayâ, well, let your Ego run free. If you think you work better with classical music, a mug of tea, or your lucky scarf, do that.Â
If you ever get knocked off track, reset to Step 2. You should be able to rush through the other steps pretty quickly, so this wonât waste too much time.Â
Step 8: Accept your work. Perfect is the enemy of good. Especially in a situation where you have multiple tasks youâre trying to complete, itâs important that you recognize when you are finished, not only so that you stop polishing and actually do whatever you need to do to finalize the project, but for your mental state. Accepting that a project is flawed but done is important. If you donât do that, then the project will be forever incomplete in your mind, which goes nowhere good.
Step 9: Present your work. Whatever you have done, thatâs what youâve done.  Turn in the project, whatever form that takes, and own it. Donât try to weasel into âWell it would be better if X hadnât happenedâ. You did what you could, be proud of that.Â
Step 10: Learn your Lessons. Now that you are done, you can take all that useless guilt and shame you boxed away in step 2 and deal with it. Why did you end up in that situation? What could you have done better? If you have a disability/mental illness that contributed, make sure you factor that in, not as a personal failing, but as an obstacle to overcome.
Iâll stick to my personal experiences with ADHD. If I wasted time because I decided to play video games for six hours, THATâS a personal failing, and the lesson learned is âDonât do that, Dipshitâ.Â
If I wasted time because I ended up browsing Reddit for six hours, thatâs probably a symptom. I know that, if given a chance, Iâll waste six hours on Reddit. So, the lesson is to avoid giving myself that chance. Unplug from the internet, get a friend to check in on you every so often and make sure youâre working. If it helps to work in a public place like a library, do that.Â
Sometimes you donât get any important lessons from this step, but thatâs a key part of this too. If you learned lessons, then you know that you can do better next time. If you donât learn any lessons, then you did nothing wrong, and shouldnât be kicking yourself over this mess. Â