Journaling isn’t my thing. Tried it three times on different platforms, but it’s still a no. This was worth documenting.. maybe. 

Google can’t even tell me what the hell is wrong with my mother. Growing up she gave me hell and I was her punching bag. I left and thought problem was fucking solved. I saved my own money and moved out with two weeks worth of clothes. Three years, ma. We were doing so well for three years. Why did you have to come in and  fuck it up?

She fucking tracked me down and yelled at me over the phone. For what though? I haven’t asked for anything. I cut them off. Shit I haven’t interacted with them since high school. I could have been dead for all they know. They could have gone with that story for all I care. 

But apparently we have different definitions of “mistake” and “fuck you”. And my personal favorite “I can’t wait for you to get the hell out of my house”. But I forgot that we have an image to uphold and that’s supposed to be important. Wonder what lie they came up with to impress the family and who ever else is pretending to give a shit.

Oh, right. The kicker. In the middle of that mess of a call, she dropped the bomb that she had an affair. I’m still trying to figure out why. Why as is in why I would give a fuck. But apparently she had a kid with some random dude in Toronto. Now she wants me to meet them and see if they want anything from her or even know of her existence.

I’m still laughing because why the fuck would I do that? I don’t owe her anything. Maybe they’re crazy like she is. I’m don’t wanna get involved in that drama. 

What is your name? Do you have a nickname? “ Dietrich. Before you get any ideas, only Lizzie can call me that. For the rest of you, stick to Michael or Mikey. I guess Mike is okay too. ”

What is your hair color? Eye color? “ Brown hair and blue eyes. ”

Who are your friends and family? Who do you surround herself with? Who are you closest to? Who do you wish you were closest to? “ Are they still considered family if I don’t celebrate Christmas with them? That’s what I thought so we’ll skip them. I have a couple of friends and I’d say that Lizzie knows me the best. Um, I’m fine with the way things are now.. ”

Where were you born? Have you lived anywhere other than Toronto. “ I was born and raised in Oakville, but I visited Toronto a lot when I was growing up.”

What is your biggest fear? Who have you told this to? Who would you never tell this to? “ Shit, I can’t do heights or needles so one of those. I’m pretty sure Stasi knows about the heights thing, but I think that’s it. Uh, I wouldn’t want anyone else knowing? ”

Do you have a secret? “ Who doesn’t? ”

What makes you laugh out loud? “ Funny things? ”

Have you been in love? Had a broken heart? “ Fuck love, honestly. And, I don’t get my heart broken. Ever. ”

What’s in your refrigerator right now? On your bedroom floor? On your nightstand? In your garbage can? “ What the hell? Get out of here. I’m not hiding dead bodies if that’s what you think. ”

When you think of your childhood kitchen, what smell do you associate with it? Sauerkraut? Oatmeal cookies? Paint? “ Cookies. Definitely cookies. ”

You’re doing intense spring cleaning. What is easy for you to throw out? What is difficult for you to part with? Why? “ Trash and expired food are easy to throw out. I keep everything else I guess? ”

It’s Saturday at noon. What are you doing? “ Teaching swim lessons or going to the gym. Or I’m eating. ”

When and where were you the happiest? “  Sleeping or eating when I’m alone - unless someone’s paying for my food. ”

What is it that you most dislike? “  Nosy people. ”

Which living person do you most despise? “  My ex from senior year is pretty high up on that list. Maybe her. ”

What is your greatest regret? “  No regrets. Maybe the thing with Addie. ”

Where would you like to live? “  Somewhere in Europe, I guess. ”

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself? “  Normally I’d say nothing, but I guess if I were anyone else I’d say something like I don’t like how I don’t trust anyone - almost anyone. ”

What is the trait you most deplore in others? “  When they’re so nosy and want to know everything about you. Like, shit, I’m not even famous. Go away. ”

On what occasions do you lie? “  There need to be specific occasions are needed for that? ”