I’m 34 now! Depression is striking, but we can’t let that stop us from Making (for long)! Bounder Games has been active for a good 10 years, and we’ve still yet to release a fully-featured game (beyond a simple puzzler, Combo Carts). I have to admit, this is a constant blow to my self-confidence. In 2017, we were jetting all across Europe to show off Armoured Engines. But that steam seemed to run out of our indie dream. Honestly, it’s a struggle somedays to even sit at the computer.
Throughout social media I see developers working whole-hog on their games, so many amazing projects that I want to be excited for. Yet that excitement hurts, poisoned by my own inability to do the same. A toxicity of my own making, something I need to work hard to clear out of my system.
We thought switching to a new project would re-light the fire, and it did for a time. But even that stalled out half-way down the track. The development curve is steep, and I’m somewhat at a loss as to how to surmount it.
That’s not entirely true, I do know what the solution is: "elbow grease". Nothing gets done unless you do it. So I’m gonna keep working through my checklists, one step at a time. That’s the only way anything gets made. I’ll make Version 34 of myself better than the last iterations, if only by the merest of margins. That’s enough.
