#bottom commodus

Notes: Basically, this is a recreation of the scene where Commodus almost kisses Lucilla, but in this version, it's his brother, the reader. This is low key the first time I've written smut, so sorry if it sucks but I tried to be kind of vague on purpose because it's all supposed to kind of feel like a dream anyway. If you don't want to read the smut, just stop right before it and you'll just have a cute little bit of fluff! I know this one's a little strange, but I think it's cute. If you don't like it, don't read it!

Part Two- Out Now!

Brotherly Love Part One: My Whole World

Warnings: 18+, vague-ish smut, some angst I guess, incest (it's Commodus, what do you expect?)

You were very worried about Commodus. Since your father’s death, he had been off, more so than usual. You had tried to be there for him, but things felt different now. He pushed you away even more than usual. Your concern for him caused you to walk through the echoing halls to his quarters. When you entered, you saw that he was sitting on his bed, looking quite serious and like he was thinking far too much for his own good.

“Commodus,” you said relatively quietly.

“Do you remember what our father said once?” He asked you, absorbed by his thoughts. “It’s a dream… a frightful dream… life is. Do you think that’s true?”

“I don’t know,” you responded without much thought. Your thoughts were about Commodus and how to get him out of his head, which was a quite dangerous place. He looked slightly under you.

“I think it is,” he only whispered. “And I have only you to share it with.”

Your heart began to beat faster as you came to sit closely beside him on his bed. You looked at him, trying to gauge what he meant by his words. He gently rested his head in the crook of your neck and you rested your head against the top of his, feeling the warmth of him against your neck. You rather enjoyed the tender moments with him like this. You wondered if he could hear the quickened beating of your heart. Did he know it beat only for him?

After a few moments, Commodus took you by surprise when he began to bring his hand up to your chest and lean back onto the bed, taking you with him. You laid on the cool sheets as he hovered over your chest, his hand gently touching it, and moving up to your neck then your chin, and finally, your lips. His fingers softly brushed your lips as your heart fluttered. He tenderly played with your lips and you were speechless. His fingers moved to the slight opening of your mouth.

“Open your mouth,” he barely whispered.

This hadn’t been the first time you two had shared an intimate moment not usually shared by brothers, but this felt different, more intentional. Sure, you had held him countless times as he wept or simply for the sake of being close. You had kissed him to bring him comfort, but never on his beautiful lips. All of your previous encounters with Commodus were just something that happened; they had no planning or objective. This, however, was different. You remembered the shame you had felt when your father had caught you and Commodus in a moment like this. You heard his voice in the back of your head, telling you that it was wrong to be that way with your brother, to love him that way. You had always loved him that way, and you had always been afraid of it. It made you feel like a freak of nature. Not only were you attracted to someone of the same sex, but he also happened to be your brother. You knew that it was wrong to everyone else, but as much as you had tried to feel that your relationship with Commodus was wrong, nothing had ever felt so right and comforting as his embrace, his kiss to your forehead that you wished was somewhere else, his gentle touch on a warm night. You both loved each other so much and when you were together like this, you could simply feel all that love radiating off of each other. How could that ever be wrong?

Despite the unsure thoughts running through your head, you knew your feelings for him and you obeyed him, parting your lips more than before. He softly dipped his fingers into your mouth, slightly touching your tongue and inner lips. He slowly removed his fingers from your mouth, bringing them into his own, tasting you. You felt your blood pump hard. He moved his hand to softly touch your cheek, bringing himself closer to you. He nearly kissed you, then gently rested his head in the crook of your neck again, tenderly touching the other side of your neck with his hand.. Your lips had never been so close to his and you longed for them to be ever closer. You brought one of your hands to gently hold his back, and the other to hold the back of his neck. Then, you brought your lips to his forehead, slowly kissing it. You were telling him that you wanted this, too. You knew he wouldn’t go too far without knowing that you desired it, too.

Commodus raised his head and his beautiful, icy eyes met yours. They had never looked so warm. You invited him with your eyes, and even though you appeared slightly frightened, he knew what you were asking. He slowly brought his lips close to yours, then paused, perhaps still unsure if it was okay to kiss you there. You raised your head and closed the gap yourself, joining the two of you in a soft kiss. It felt better than you had ever imagined it would. His hand raised from your neck to your cheek and you brought your hand to cup his face, his curly hair slightly tickling your fingers. You felt as if in a dream, for you had dreamed about moments like this many times.

Commodus began to intensify the kiss and pushed your head back down to the bed with the power of his kiss. He shifted so that his body was completely on top of yours, undoubtedly feeling your arousal as you felt his. You felt filthy, being so aroused for your brother, but at least you weren’t the only one. You attempted to quiet those thoughts of shame as you tenderly stroked your hand through his hair and face. The touches you and him shared lost their gentility and became more passionate. After several moments, Commodus broke the kiss abruptly, only withdrawing slightly, and looked up at you. You both realized the few tears that had begun to run down each of your faces. You had both waited so long for this moment.

You smiled at him, feeling more tears come, and he smiled, gently laughing as he hugged you close, his head beside yours. You also let out a little chuckle, embracing him even closer. You felt hot tears run from his face to your neck. He placed a kiss there and then more. His lips traveled lower, to your chest, and you held his head as he did this. Eventually, he could not kiss and farther down until he removed the clothing there. He gently and nervously grabbed the fabric and looked up at you, asking you if he could.

“May I?” Commodus quietly asked.

“Of course, love,” you responded with a small smile. He was always so adorable.

He carefully removed your toga and you brought your hands to him and he allowed you to remove his. Each of you admired the other man’s body for a moment before you flipped him onto his bed, now on top of him. You kissed him, first gently, then hard. Both of you were becoming more certain of your actions, more intentional. You eventually broke the kiss, and Commodus softly whined.

“Y/n,” he softly pleaded. “Please.”

You smiled and you readied yourself at his entrance after spitting on your hand to lubricate.

“Ready?” You asked him.

He nodded and you pushed yourself in, filling him perfectly. You both let out heavy sighs as you gave him a few moments to adjust. You assumed this was his first time this way, so you wanted to be sure that he was comfortable. Meanwhile, you drew him into a passionate, yet somewhat sloppy kiss. You could feel his desire, his need.

“Are you ready, darling?” You asked him tenderly.

“Yes, please, Y/n,” he responded breathlessly.

You began to move slowly at first, being very careful with him. You didn’t want to scare him away. He brought his beautiful hands to your back, holding onto your strong frame. He let out soft moans as you worked your way sweetly in and out. He brought a hand to the side of your face and pulled you so that your lips were mere hairs apart.

“I love you,” he told you, his warm breath spreading across your lips.

“I love you, too, Commodus,” you replied before tenderly capturing his lips in another kiss. How had you resisted this for so long? In this beautiful moment, you weren’t sure if you’d be able to go more than a minute without kissing him. You felt your arousal grow as you continued to kiss his sweet, beautifully curved lips. You quickened your pace ever so slightly and Commodus began to let out more breathless moans and gentle whines. These lovely sounds brought you ever closer to release and you grunted softly. You had each of you dreamed of this for so many years, and you both knew neither of you would last long. You gradually fastened the pace, making sure with every move that Commodus was all right, searching his angelic face for any signs of pain or discomfort. Instead, you found only pleasure and joy, his tears dried upon his smooth skin.

Soon, it became clear that both of you were nearing your ends, and your movements became sloppier and more desperate. Commodus firmly gripped your shoulders, whining so sweetly as you brought your hand down to pleasure him. Your other hand strongly held his back, helping him to feel secure, a feeling not common for him, and nonexistent with anyone but you. Again, you sharply brought him into a hot kiss, and both of you let go at that moment. You broke the kiss and both released blissed moans and sighs as you rode out your highs together, feeling each other’s heavy breaths.

Your head fell next to his and your hot breath warmed his neck and shoulder slightly. You ceased your movements and laid still with Commodus. You brought your arms around him to embrace him firmly, placing a kiss between his neck and shoulder. You felt his chest rise and fall quickly against yours, which followed a similar rhythm.

You held him like that for a moment before pulling away slightly to look at him. He once again had some tears streaming down his face. You became aware of a few on yours as well.

“Oh, Commodus, love, did I hurt you?” You asked, worried that you had been too rough with him.

“No, you didn’t, darling, I was just…” He trailed off, but you knew what he meant because it was the same reason that you found tears staining your face as well.

“I know,” you said with a knowing smile. “I feel it, too.”

He smiled back at you. You had never seen him look so genuinely fulfilled and happy. He hadn’t looked this satisfied when he was crowned emperor. It brought you great joy to see him this way. He did not often feel true happiness, especially if you weren’t involved.

“You do?” He asked, as if in a dream.

“Yes, I do, sweet Commodus,” you replied gingerly before bringing your lips to his for a sweet, gentle kiss. You barely parted your lips from his.

“I love you. More than anything in the whole world.”

“I love you, too. More than I could ever love anyone or anything else.”

You smiled and pressed a kiss to his forehead before emerging from the bed to retrieve a cloth to clean him up. You did so sweetly and he watched as you did it, grateful for someone taking care of him. That was all he really wanted.

“Thank you,” he said, and you knew he was thanking you for more than simply tidying him up.

“Thank you, your Highness,” you said teasingly with a giggle that was returned by him as you brought him into an embrace. You loved the way it felt when your skin met his. It just felt… natural. And pure.

“Will you stay with me tonight?” Commodus asked you shyly.

“Of course,” you replied. “I wouldn’t dream of anything else.”

You laid down on his bed and brought him to rest tenderly on your strong, bare chest. Both of your breathing had slowed and you rested in sheer bliss with your Commodus.

“You’re my whole world,” Commodus told you, softly stroking your chest with his fingers.

“You’re my world, too,” you replied with a kiss to his head.

Notes: Okay, I had to do this because I feel like Commodus's death was treated as so unimportant in the film, and we Commodus fans were pissed. So, fret not- Commodus will not die. Also, surprise! The reader has visions that always come true.

Words: 2.4k

Brotherly Love Part Two: Frightful Visions

Warnings: Angst, incest (well it is Commodus), lowkey sad, slight hint of suicide?

“You shall not fight Maximus,” you told him surely.

“I shall,” Commodus protested.

“No, you shall not, Commodus,” you declared harshly.

“Well, why not?” Commodus asked defiantly.

“Because you will die!” You blurted out aggressively.

He looked hurt and you regretted having said it.

“Do you really not believe in me? Have you no faith in me?” Commodus asked you sadly with a tinge of anger.

“Of course I believe in you, brother. I have endless faith in you,” you replied, your tone warming and softening, tainted with guilt. You had always attempted to avoid saying anything to put him down or doubt himself as your father had done Commodus’s whole life.

“You clearly don’t, or else you would not say that I shall die at Maximus’s hand,” Commodus said, anger becoming more prevalent in his tone.

“Commodus, I have foreseen it,” you admitted to him regretfully.

This took him by surprise.

“You have… foreseen it?” He whispered.

“Yes, Commodus,” you told him, your eyes beginning to well up at the memory of watching your brother be struck down and the life vanish from him before your very eyes. Commodus took a moment before responding.

“Well, perhaps it was only a dream, brother,” he said somewhat hopefully. “We are not certain that everything you see will come to pass.”

“My visions have never been wrong before, Commodus,” you said sternly. “Everything I have foreseen has happened unless we took action to prevent it, which is exactly what I’m trying to-”

“I must fight Maximus,” Commodus said, regaining his certainty. “And you shall not stop me.”

“Yes, I will,” you coarsely told him. “I shall stop you. You shall not fight Maximus. I shall not lose you.”

“You shall not stop me,” Commodus continued, “and neither shall you lose me. I shall win. I shall make sure of it.”

“But, Commodus-” you tried.

“Y/n, I won’t hear it,” he declared, demanding your obedience, but not receiving it.

You realized that you would get nowhere with him this way. You stepped closer to him and put one hand firmly on his shoulder, and gently rested the other on his face. You brought your faces close, your foreheads nearly touching.

“I cannot lose you, Commodus,” you said, a tear falling without your notice. “You’re all I’ve got.”

Commodus wavered, tears coming to his eyes. He did not like to see you this way.

“It’s simply not worth it,” you told him softly but with certainty. “He isn’t worth it.”

“Did he die?” Commodus asked.

“What?”

“In your vision… Did he die?” Commodus asked you. “Did I kill him?”

“Yes,” you said hesitantly. You knew it would convince him to fight, but you could not lie to him. “You killed each other.”

“I shall be careful, brother,” Commodus told you, trying to comfort you, but failing. “It is good that we received such a warning. I will be sure to take more care in protecting myself.”

“No, Commodus,” you said with a wavering voice, a few tears streaming down your cheeks. “I saw you die.”

Commodus took pity on you, pulling you into an embrace. Your hot tears stained the thin cloth covering his shoulder. He was realizing how this vision must have affected you, but he still did not believe it to be true. He wanted to comfort you, and part of him hoped that in comforting you, he would also distract you from the issue at hand.

“I’m very sorry that you had to see that, my love,” he told you gently. “I understand how painful that must have been.”

“I ran to you and…” You trailed off as you began to sob into your brother’s strong shoulder. It was rare that he was the one comforting you, and you were barely able to put into words what you saw. “I held you and I begged you… I begged you to stay, Commodus, but you…”

“Shh… It’s all right, Y/n. I’m here,” Commodus assured you.

“You died in my arms,” you uttered with horror. “I watched as your life ended. As your heart stopped. I saw it all.”

Commodus tightened his grip on you and pressed a firm, but sweet kiss between your neck and shoulder. You pressed your face more deeply into his shoulder.

“Y/n, I assure you that will not happen,” Commodus told you surely. “You shall not have to witness that again.”

“You mean you won’t fight him?” You asked, raising your head slightly with hope.

“I mean that I will win against him,” he said with gentleness, trying not to upset you further.

“Commodus, no,” you said urgently, pulling away from his grasp and stepping back, away from him.

He looked at you with a hurt look. You hated to see him that way, but if that’s what it took to convince him not to walk into his untimely death, then you had to resist the urge to tell him what he wanted to hear. You did that far too often, you had come to realize.

“I will never forgive you,” you said hurtfully. “If you do this, I will never, ever forgive you, for as long as I live.”

The painful look intensified, a tear rolling down his cheek, but you stood your ground.

“Although, I doubt I should live very long if you are killed,” you said gravely seriously.

It killed you to do this to him, but you had to manipulate him in order to convince him. And it was not as if your words were untrue.

“I will not live without you,” you threatened. “I have never lived without you. I wouldn’t know how.”

“Y/n…” Commodus started, but he did not know what to say.

You had rendered him speechless. You thought it was all right now to approach him, so you did, holding his head with both of your hands, pulling him even closer to you than before.

“Surely you do not mean…” was all he was able to muster.

“I do, Commodus,” you told him coolly. “If you die, so shall I.”

“No, brother,” he muttered painfully, almost begging.

“I have told you, Commodus. I will not live without you. You are everything to me,” you told him, bringing his head beside your own, almost embracing him. His hands absent-mindedly came to brush your shoulders. “Everything.”

“Y/n…” Commodus whispered.

He tried to bring his lips to yours, but you denied him, pulling back slightly, but still remaining close.

“If you truly love me, you will not fight,” you told your brother. “If you need him dead so badly, we will have him killed. Hell, I’ll do it myself, just do not fight him. Do not give your life to take another man’s.” Commodus looked at you with crying eyes, a few tears streaming down his beautiful face as he considered your words. Solemnly, he came to a decision.

“All right,” he conceded. “I will not fight him. For you, brother.”

Relief washed over you, but so did suspicion. Did he really mean it?

“You promise?” You asked tearfully.

“Yes, I promise, love,” he swore to you. “I will not fight Maximus.”

“Thank you, Commodus,” you said, embracing him firmly, pressing your body against his, finding comfort in that feeling. It had worked. His hands held your back with strength as he tried to soothe you from your emotional state. Rarely had he seen you so upset. You were usually a great deal more private with emotional matters, not sharing your pain with him if you felt it. It suddenly came to him that you likely held lots of pain in your heart and did not ever let any of it out, but allowed him to tell you every little thing that bothered him. A pang of guilt struck him as he realized that perhaps you had been so caught up in his issues that you neglected to tend to your own, and that you were afraid to trouble him with your own feelings. The pain this caused him thrashed deep into him and more tears came to his eyes.

How could he have been so inconsiderate? So selfish? You had horrific visions all the time, and you never came to him with them. You merely told him about them later, hiding any sort of pain that was associated with having seen the terrors of those visions. It finally occurred to him that your talent, while being a gift, must have been very painful. His heart broke for you.

“I’m so sorry, Y/n,” he finally said, voice filled with regret and guilt.

“For what, Commodus?” You asked, worried that perhaps he had changed his mind and intended to fight still.

“I never realized… until now,” he said vaguely, pulling away only to look at you, but still holding onto you, not quite knowing the words. “These visions… You feel them deeply, don’t you?”

“Well,” you said somewhat casually, not wanting to upset him, but equally not wanting to lie to him. “Yes, I suppose.”

“Any time something hurts me,” Commodus said, “I come to you. I always have, and you have always found ways to make me feel all right again. To bring me comfort and love.”

Commodus looked at you sadly.

“You have never done the same,” he said, full of shame. “Not with your visions or otherwise. I have not allowed you to. I have always worried so much with me and my problems that I have not given you space to share yours with me. I have neglected you all your life.”

“Oh, Commodus,” you said, trying to dismiss him and stop him from feeling such guilt.

“No, Y/n. It’s true,” he said firmly. “Even now, you’re trying to make me feel better instead of telling me the truth. I have been so selfish, so insensitive to you. You have always been so strong because I… I was not. You have always held me up at your own expense and I have never even seen it. I let you do that when I should have allowed you to live your own life and concern yourself with your own things.”

He paused.

“I am strong only because of you. I am nothing without you. I could not live without you either, brother.”

You simply did not know what to say. He had never admitted to something this way. Usually he denied responsibility and blamed others for his failures. Now, he told you all that he had done wrong and he did not blame you or anyone else. He was completely accepting responsibility for something that had hurt you for so many years that you had tried so hard to ignore. Of course you had wanted to seek comfort in him, but you had felt that you couldn’t. You had spent all this time trying to run away from the pain of loneliness, and you had always blamed yourself for not coming to him. However, as he said it, you realized that it was somewhat true that he had made it hard for you to come to him in pain. Still, you did not resent him for it. You just realized the tears that had continued to pour from your tired eyes. Tired from watching over him and worrying for him for so long.

“Commodus, it is not completely your fault,” you told him, your voice wavering with sadness. He was finally breaking through that wall you had built up. “I could have come to you. I mean, yes, you’re right, I didn’t really feel like I could, but if I had wanted it enough, I would have done it. It’s not all your fault. Do not feel that it is.”

“I heard you crying once, when we were young,” Commodus remembered. “I was passing through your quarters and I heard you sobbing. It struck me because I could not remember hearing anything like that from you before. I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to help, but I just… I didn’t. And I’m sorry. I should have helped you. I should have realized that that was not a single occurrence. That you cried alone more than only that time.”

“Commodus, it’s all right,” you told him, wiping tears from his face with your thumb.

“No, it’s not,” he protested. “I’m a terrible brother.”

“No, you’re not,” you told him seriously. “Like you said, you didn’t know what to do. And, look, love. The past has passed. You’ll get nothing from feeling remorse about the past. There’s no sense in it.”

“You’re right,” he admitted. “I cannot change what I did, but I can choose what I will do now. I will not allow you to be alone in your sadness any longer.”

“Oh, Commodus,” you said, feeling something rare. Feeling seen. “Please come to me when something like this happens. Or anything that upsets you. Please, I want to comfort you the way you have always done so for me,” Commodus insisted.

“All right, I will try,” you promised him. “But I have never really been forthcoming about things like that, and it will be hard to do that. But I will try.”

You hugged him tightly, thanking him for finally seeing it, seeing you. “Please don’t feel like you can’t tell me things anymore,” you said, gently pulling away to meet teary eyes with him. “I still want to comfort you the way I always have. Please don’t feel guilt or shame in coming to me now.”

“I won’t,” Commodus said, wiping cooled tears from your face with a strong hand. “I’m so sorry,” Commodus apologized again, bringing you closer and holding your head in his hand. “I should have been there for you. I should have realized it sooner.”

“I forgive you, love,” you told him earnestly. “Thank you for seeing me. And thank you for not fighting Maximus. You know I just love you and want to protect you.”

“I know all too well,” Commodus said with a small smile. “Thank you for loving me as you do. No one else has ever cared about me like that. Or really at all.”

“You’re the only thing that matters to me in this world or any other,” you said, gently kissing his forehead. “I shall always love you.”

“And I shall always love you,” he said, pressing his lips to yours in a tender, yet passionate kiss. “You mean more to me than anything. More than Rome, more than power, more than life.”

Those words truly meant something special coming from him. You kissed him again.

“I shall take care of you and protect you now, too,” Commodus said against your lips.

“I love you,” you told him again, pulling him impossible closer. “Always.”

“I love you always,” Commodus repeated, pressing a final kiss to your lips.