#botoxinmybladder

Tomorrow will be my first time having my opera for my Botox injections in my bladder under a local anaesthetic since I was a teenager, and only the second time ever under local. I’m a little nervous, but I know I can do this 💪🏻!! And hopefully not being knocked out and vented will mean I recover much better. #botoxinmybladder https://www.instagram.com/p/B8M9tlOhRzM/?igshid=w1g8bh394vwp

Tomorrow will be my first time having my opera for my Botox injections in my bladder under a local anaesthetic since I was a teenager, and only the second time ever under local. I’m a little nervous, but I know I can do this 💪🏻!! And hopefully not being knocked out and vented will mean I recover much better. #botoxinmybladder https://www.instagram.com/p/B8M9tlOhRzM/?igshid=w1g8bh394vwp

An update, with important information about my Botox, and why I’ve been so quiet... please read! #anupdate #palliativecarewarrior #botoxinmybladder #exhausted https://www.instagram.com/p/B4eyygLB5HQ/?igshid=1lxff7yhyiyuh

Good morning! I’m feeling slightly more human today... I actually managed to have a shower and my carer changed my bedding yesterday and that honestly made the world of difference. I’ve also been trying to catch up on all the sleep I’ve missed out on the last 8 weeks 😴 which is helping. My body is starting to feel like my own again; the last 8 weeks it’s felt more like a torture chamber I was trapped in... but now the pain of the bladder spasms (and all the other spasms the bladder ones cause) is gone, I’m starting to feel more at home in this broken body of mine. It’s genuinely a little strange to not be in agonising pain every second of the day? I’d gotten so used to it that I’d forgotten what it feels like to be at my normal pain level (think dropping from a constant 7-9 to a blessed 4-6!). I will explain to you all the bad news I’ve received about my Botox, but it’s a complicated story, and one I’m not ready to share just yet. Just know it’s something that’s really upset me and it’s going to cause so many problems and need a lot of work to sort out... and reader, I am, in all honestly, so tired of having to fight for my life all the time, every damn day. It’s exhausting. It’d be lovely to receive some messages, photos of cute animals and/or babies, or to hear something good about you day to cheer me up! Anyway, I hope y’all have a good Sunday 👍🏻💚 #goodmorning #recoveringfrommyoperation #botoxinmybladder #notbeinginagonyfeelsweird #beingsickisexhausting #tiredofhavingtofightforeverything #butstillhere #stilltrying #palliativecarewarrior https://www.instagram.com/p/B4Zd-y9hvZL/?igshid=6z6001qh49fq

Good morning! I’m feeling slightly more human today... I actually managed to have a shower and my carer changed my bedding yesterday and that honestly made the world of difference. I’ve also been trying to catch up on all the sleep I’ve missed out on the last 8 weeks 😴 which is helping. My body is starting to feel like my own again; the last 8 weeks it’s felt more like a torture chamber I was trapped in... but now the pain of the bladder spasms (and all the other spasms the bladder ones cause) is gone, I’m starting to feel more at home in this broken body of mine. It’s genuinely a little strange to not be in agonising pain every second of the day? I’d gotten so used to it that I’d forgotten what it feels like to be at my normal pain level (think dropping from a constant 7-9 to a blessed 4-6!). I will explain to you all the bad news I’ve received about my Botox, but it’s a complicated story, and one I’m not ready to share just yet. Just know it’s something that’s really upset me and it’s going to cause so many problems and need a lot of work to sort out... and reader, I am, in all honestly, so tired of having to fight for my life all the time, every damn day. It’s exhausting. It’d be lovely to receive some messages, photos of cute animals and/or babies, or to hear something good about you day to cheer me up! Anyway, I hope y’all have a good Sunday 👍🏻💚 #goodmorning #recoveringfrommyoperation #botoxinmybladder #notbeinginagonyfeelsweird #beingsickisexhausting #tiredofhavingtofightforeverything #butstillhere #stilltrying #palliativecarewarrior https://www.instagram.com/p/B4Zd-y9hvZL/?igshid=6z6001qh49fq

It’s easy for me to forget when a big deal it is for me to have my Botox in my bladder. Because I have it every 12 weeks, because I have a really great team who minimise any trauma that’s part of the process, it’s just become normal to me, and to my loved ones. It’s just part of Being Amy-Claire. And I often get really cross at myself when I feel so unwell after the op. But as my nurse Mark pointed out tonight, it’s A BIG DEAL. A general anaesthetic is hard on any body, but my body doesn’t work properly to begin with, never mind after pumping it full of drugs and cutting/injecting etc! Every time I fall asleep in that operating theatre could be the time I never wake up. Even with an amazing, experienced team who know me (and who’ve gotten me through cardiac and breathing difficulties before expertly), there’s so much risk involved in this procedure. So why do it, you ask? Because whilst there’s a chance the op may kill me, the spasms it stops would definitely kill me, and I’d have a shit quality of life whilst I was waiting to die. In short, it’s worth taking the risk for the pay off. But yeah, sometimes I’m way to hard on myself post op... today I’m trying to be kind to my body, and thank it for surviving another trial 💪🏻!! #palliativecarewarrior #postopcare #botoxinmybladder (at Neath Port Talbot Hospital) https://www.instagram.com/p/BzT5ZCOhvWl/?igshid=vsff3ci0sty3

Hola! So I’m actually awake and conscious today; staff were all a bit worried yesterday because I literally slept all day (I’ve slept for about TWENTY hours in the last 24!!) and wasn’t a very good colour, but I’m feeling more human today! Hope you’re all having a lovely Sunday, especially all you amazing mummies out there! #hola #imawake #bedrestsucksass #botoxinmybladder #onesleepygal #happysunday #happymothersday❤️ (at Cardiff) https://www.instagram.com/p/BvrHq9Yn_6t/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=12w0ilk8360cp

My veins now suck to such epic proportions that it even takes one of the best anaesthetists I have three goes to get an IV in, and it’s in a really weird place. My palliative care team are actually in the process of planning a meeting with the head of A&E to put a treatment plan And very clear advance directive in place specifically for when I’m admitted... one aspect of this plan is that we’re gonna start trying to avoid IV drugs unless absolutely necessary to try and save my shitty and overused veins. Had another pretty deep talk with Simon my favourite anaesthetist yesterday about IVs. I told him my carers/family/friends/boyfriend are all super impressed by how chill I am about the multiple attempts to get a needle in my vein. I told him that generally the dr or nurse get more flustered, stressed out, and even upset than I do. I said it’s because I’ve accepted the fact that they’ve GOT to get an IV in, and I know in fact that getting upset will just make the whole process more difficult. Simon, my anaesthetist/occasional therapist, pointed out “you’ve learned that you getting distressed just makes the whole ordeal worse, both physically and emotionally, for you and those present. So you just switch of and stay unnaturally calm. Also, you’ve got an incredible tolerance for pain, so I imagine an IV insertion isn’t that painful for you compared to so much edges you experience. It’s another type of trauma you’ve learned to cope with. Honestly? You rather amaze ya all with how genuinely upbeat and positive you are despite all the rubbish you go through. You should be very proud of yourself, honestly. You’re pretty fab!” Hearing this from a dr was pretty awesome 😎 and made the three attempts to get an IV in entirely worth it! #botoxinmybladder #myanaethetistisawesome #deeptalksintheatre #myveinsuck #ivssuck (at Neath Port Talbot Hospital) https://www.instagram.com/p/BvmoatXHu-n/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=2tueb1rfolck