#boringpostcards

oh my god that's so #you

HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY IT?!?!??! ONLY I AM ALLOWED TO FIGHT ROSIE!!!! GET! IN !!! FUKCING!!!! LI!N!E ! ! ! !

when i was twelve/thirteen and studying for my bat mitzvah, my b’nei mitzvah tutor asked me when i felt closest to god. she wrote down everything i said and recorded it in the notebook i was using to prepare for my bat mitzvah. 

“times rosie feels close to ✡ 

really cold out, sleeping in bed at my country house (when i’m the only one awake)

riding my horse (communication)

reading in the car

airplain going to london (i felt it on my arm, excited)”

the feeling was “alone, but having a connection to something” like that doesn’t really make sense but that’s what hashem is to me. not a sentient being like the christian god. i quote, “HaShem is not a free-floating metaphysical entity. HaShem is not the object of belief, for HaShem is not an object. Neither is HaShem an all-seeing or universal subject constructed in our own image, nor is HaShem an abstraction such as Reason or Justice. HaShem is the ontological grounding of our being in this world, the very breath of our life and striving”.  

my torah portion was leviticus: 1-9. the first line of the portion is  מוֹעֵד לֵאמֹר (god called to moses...) and i always felt that hashem wasn’t calling to moses in my portion, hashem was calling to me. before my bat mitzvah, i had no jewish education whatsoever. my family never went to shul (with the exception of bar & bat mitzvahs of family / friends) and i got to be 11 years old and said to my parents “i want to have a bat mitzvah”. we never really celebrated jewish holidays except for chanukah (which isn’t even really that big of a holiday tbh). i decided that it needed to happen, something was calling to me and something made me want to do this. on the last day of my tutoring sessions, my b’nei mitzvah teacher said that my jewish education didn’t have to end there. and it didn’t, because i constantly think and learn about what it means to be jewish, what judaism means to me. i’d like to be able to go to shul every weekend, celebrate shabbat every friday night, but those things aren’t realistic all the time. but i know that i carry my judaism with me, whether or not i practice the religious aspects. hashem is always a part of me, and has been for a long time now.   

6: have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today?

not really, but i’ve been rewatching gavin & stacey and the song at the beginning / end always reminds me of when i was in london in 2008 because i watched it with my friends’ family 

25: does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you?

yeah u!!!!!! 

29: where is the shirt you are wearing from?

in every house at my school there’s a “free box” where u put stuff you don’t want (usually clothes) and the night before i left to go home for the summer i raided the free boxes in my house and the house connected to me. that’s where i got my shirt