#bonusmomma

Let’s talk the role of a stepmother. 

Everyone has a different interpretation of what a stepmom should or shouldn’t do. Some people think a stepmom should be actively involved while others say we should let the parents be the parents and do the minimum. I’ve been following a lot of stepmom/bonus mom pages on Facebook and trying to see how everyone navigates within their blended family. 

First, let me tell you my role as a stepmom and it’s a very active one:

I discipline and they ask me for my permission 95% of the time

Their teachers are in constant communication with me instead of their mom/dad. Most of the parent-teacher meetings are organized by moi

When they have practice, guess who drives them?!

I’m with all of my kids 90% of the time

This sounds like ME, ME, ME but this is what I have taken on as a bonus momma. Some people have said, “Well, you signed up for this when you agreed to marry HIM.” Yes, I signed up to be a stepmom but I didn’t expect to be the main parent while their biomom is away with her husband or didn’t expect for my husband to have a career change and work a lot. 

I’ve come across a few of these Facebook pages and have noticed everyone has a different blended family dynamic. Have you ever heard of nachoing your stepkids?! I didn’t know it was a thing until I started reading more. Nacho is when you step back and don’t do as much, you let the parents be the parents and you’re there for more of a friend role. This wouldn’t work for me because of the way work/custody schedules are but it does work for a lot of other mommas out there. 

Then you have people who want you to do everything but constantly remind you that you’re not the bio parent. 

Best of luck!(: