#bonelessdraws

The explosion recalibrates his world.

The thought that haunts him isn't "I died." It's "I almost killed her."

So he moves away to learn more, ignoring her watery smile as she sends him off. If Yi doesn't know everything and can't figure it out on his own, then he just has to go somewhere that will teach him what he's missing. Easy.

At Kunlun, he realizes half the things he thought he knew were flat out wrong, and the other half were rudimentary truths at best. Lesser students drop out, slinking back home in shame. Yi devours everything they teach him and more, and still finds time to pick out souvenirs to send back home. He's an older brother, after all. It wouldn't do for him to set a bad example.

As the years fly by, he sees Heng grow up through letters and video messages. It's lonely sometimes, but his work on the Eternal Cauldron project is a matter of civilizational life or death, so he throws himself into his projects. After so many years away, his lab is more of a comfort than his childhood home will ever be. Still, he makes an effort to go back and visit when he can.

All his thoughts grind to a halt when she refuses to come with him. It goes against the fundamental truth of his world: she's his baby sister, so he needs to protect her and tell her what's right and wrong. He has all the answers. He's spent years working on them. She just needs to listen.

Why won't she listen?

A three-year gap stretches over a lifetime. For the very first time, he looks at Heng and sees a stranger. He says as much.

If he could go back- if he could change that conversation- if he could have said anything else—

He wakes up in a world without that three-year gap.

An impossible, five hundred year expanse severs his past from his present. This is the new truth of his life- sharper and surer than even the executioner's blade. For a time, he tries to re-calaculate the gap.

Five hundred and three. A little less, depending on rounding error. Conversely, she might even have been a little older than his memories are now when she—

The thought refuses to go away.

It doesn't seem like it should be possible for little sisters to die. For there to be a world afterwards.

When he was younger, he'd confidently asked Heng "What would you do without me?"

He finds he doesn't have an answer, faced with the other side of the question.