#bodposfeb1

I made this blog a couple years ago after a breakup that honestly messed up my life. I just dropped out college, I had no friends, my family stopped talking to me and my 'boyfriend' left me. I logged out of my tumblr account and made a new one, one where I wanted to see just positivity and pretty post so I made this blog. First it started with some happy blogs, some selfhelp blogs, mental health blogs. But then I discovered body positive blogs and then I started following feminist blogs, that's when I became a feminist, because I started to read and realize a lot of stuff and started to care about issues that were beyond my knowledge. I started to learn how to be a better person and accepting myself. This challenge is important for me because I found it just a couple of months after I made this blog, it helped me see a part of me that needed some love. It helped me overcome my fears about what my body was supposed to be like. Because I've always been self conscious about my looks and my weight, I've always been insecure about myself, but this made me love me even a little, because I started to see myself with love. Right now I'm in need of some self love and some confidence. There's been a lot of changes and I just need to be reminded that everything's ok as long as I'm ok with myself.

In the final few mins of Feb the 1st I'm scrambling to actually start this challenge. Challenge #1 is to write why I want to do the challenge. It's actually quite simple: I hate my body quite a bit, I'm sick of trying to starve it into a shape I like and I don't want to do it anymore. I'm tired of feeling guilty about what I wear, what I eat, how I look in photos etc. I have few photos if myself because I systematically avoided and deleted any photos of me. I never have any record of me on holidays bc I know that if I see a photo I dislike of myself, it throws off my feels for like 3 days. Also, I like the month challenge things.