#bmc headcanons

Michael Mell gets chronic ear infection guys- and Christine Canigula has nerve damage in her shoulders- Rich Goranski is a high school drop out

-Sal

idk how good they are but i have a few

i’ve already shared my hc where he works at a daycare and becomes a pediatrician so i’ll skip that one lol

there are mentions of abuse in this so be warned

- post-squip rich won’t go anywhere near the muppets because his squip was evil kermit

- he’s excited to play x-box with jeremy after jeremy gets his squip because none of the other people he plays with seem to ‘nerd out’ over anything they play. since rich comes from loser roots (much like jeremy) he gets excited to play with him because the little loser part of him fighting back against the squip in his brain is hype to talk to someone who gets it (another geek)

- rich asking jeremy to play xbox with him as like their first friendly interaction is because rich uses his x-box and headset to block out his dad arguing with his girlfriend and older brother. it’s his favorite distraction from his least favorite thing on earth.

- (this next one is more a reference to the book) in sophomore year rich stole michael’s ds from his backpack because he wanted to be more friendly with another kid in their grade (mark, a character from the book) who plays video games. mark’s favorite game is Kill All People II, which was only available on ds. so rich stole michael’s ds and managed to find (or steal) enough money to buy the game so he could get close with mark and have someone to talk to about video games. rich returns michael’s ds to him after everyone gets out of the hospital post-squip

- he loves cookie monster ice cream because it dyes his tongue blue and he loves cookie dough

- (arsonbros crumbs bc i like them) there have been MULTIPLE occasions where the wrestling coach has had to kick rich and jake out of the locker room becuase they stayed really late after practices. rich was afraid to go home because of his dad, jake said his house was so lonely without his parents there. jake would drive rich home, park his car a block away, then sneak back into rich’s house through rich’s bedroom door and they would spend the night together. jake was the only person at school who knew about rich’s home situation for most of high school.

- (more arsonbros) rich and jake are both on the wrestling team because jake got bored without a winter sport. he managed to convince rich by telling him he had the perfect body type to kill it in wrestling. the squip pushed rich to join because it would get him in jake’s good graces (very good graces…). rich ended up actually liking it because the wrestling team lead to him becoming best friends with jake

Those are all the ones i can think of off the top of my head. I have no clue if they’re good, but they’re my personal favorites