#blurredtruths

Away from the craziness that had been Mint Eye and Rika and all the stuff she’d been taught about V, he was actually rather pleasant to speak with and if she were, to be honest, she actually felt rather pleased to hear that he was doing well. Rika could have easily broken him. “I’m doing okay. Vanderwood is an overprotective teddy bear who panics whenever I’m outside his sight for too long - but otherwise? It’s going well. The hospital’s happy with my improvements and well - I’ve wanted to catch up with you for ages!”

Hi, will you be in Korea this winter? She messaged him.

How was he expected just to sit there and not try and help? He sighed a little, glancing towards the work pile that was slowly growing bigger but after everything that V had done for him, there was no way he could turn his back to him. Losing the person who you love - he knew how hard that was...and at least Saeran was still alive. “...no ones expecting you to be recovered this soon...she meant a lot to all of us but I know she meant the most to you”. With a small smile, he walked over and gently gave the elder a hug. It wasn’t much but hopefully some comfort would be found in the gesture.

Everything hurt. It felt as though he was burning from the inside out. He’d attempted to get back to his room, feeling as though he was about to pass out, feeling how bad his legs were shaking and having no wishes for anyone to see this weak side. He was weak. Savior had said so himself. He was fighting for control but at times letting Ray be in control was relaxing. He didn’t need to think too much, didn’t need to be so angry at the world. He wasn’t sure at times just who he was anymore but he knew he hated whoever it was. He hated himself but the Savior needed him. He groaned as he finally fell to his knees, his hands balling into fists against the side of his heart as he tried to somehow force himself to stay awake. He hated this! Hated how weak he was. Hated how he just kept failing. Was he truly of no use to anyone? Was there really no point in him even trying to live? That was the last thought he had before the darkness took over. At some point he was sure that someone had lifted him, that there had been warmness around his small frame but his mind soon blanked out completely as the fire raged on inside, making her body quickly spike into a fever. He didn’t wake till a few hours later and when he did he was still feeling almost half asleep. Mint eyes slowly opened, blinking out tears of pain as he glanced around the room he was in. Where was this? It wasn’t his room, it was too bright, too clean. “Savior?”. He groaned and slowly turned onto his side to look around the room better, eyes widening as he spotted V. What was he doing here!? Ah. But he was still feeling too weak and tired to do much else other than back away towards the other side of the bed, pulling the covers tightly around himself and hating himself for such actions. “W-what are you doing here!?”

Oops. She’d lost her cool, hadn’t she? But she was just so tired of V being to harsh on himself! He had done so much for everyone inside RFA, had suffered in silence and sure he’d made a bunch of mistakes but his heart had been in the right place. Ella sighed lightly, feeling her cheeks burn ever so slightly as she walked over and gently wrapped her arms around his waist, pressing against him silently as though somehow that alone would be able to transfer her emotions to him, to let him know that she truly did care. “...It’s not...I mean...”. She didn’t wish for this to be seen as her attempting to replace Rika or something. She could see that V needed some space to learn how to love himself again but she still wanted him to realise that he wasn’t as alone as he thought he was - was that selfish of her? “...I just want you to be happy...you deserve it...”

“...I mean...how we started. All those hopes and dreams we shared...the desire to help others...the desire to care for one another...do you resent those days?”

At first he thought that this must be some type of joke. A badly natured prank of Saeyoungs that had taken a weird turn but now? Now he was just regarding the man before him as though it was their first time meeting. Just how was he expected to respond to something like this?  “...I don’t even know where to begin with that V. Up until now I was pretty sure that vampires weren’t even real...just how much of this world am I blind too?”. That thought was a little unnerving. He was supposed to always be alert and aware of potential dangers and yet here he was feeling rather confused. He didn’t like this at all.