#blue kid

Gepetto’s Lament by Nathaniel Johnstone “No morality, or affection, no cause for discontent. No doubt, no artifice, no lonely fears. Gifted wit, wiles, charm, a simple little child a little one who can only ever harm.” I kept thinking about how Bolaire wasn’t born so much as sculpted and carved and how to some small degree he bears some parallels to Pinocchio in that way especially in this narrative song. He was designed to have no will or no self-determination, yet is crucially designed to be magical and charming enough to trick a goddess into her own death.

Cabinet Man by Lemon Demon “I stood so proudly like I was going to war. Players soon appeared and I quickly was revered, this must be what love would have felt like.” Bolaire’s hurt and despair at getting used to do the same thing over and over again without even knowing who or what he was other than the part he had to play and, much like a sentient toy needing to be loved by a child, never considered being more because having no purpose and being abandoned again is all too terrifying.

The Beginning Is The End Is The Beginning by The Smashing Pumpkins “Send a heartbeat to the void that cries through you, relive the pictures that have come to pass” Bolaire experiencing the surreal terror of being completely singular in this world and of suddenly knowing that, knowing beyond the play. Figuring out he is, unknown to his wielders, being fucked with more or less. The horror of being stuck in a time loop you’re only partially aware of and have decided to break free of.

Lonely Day by System of a Down “Such a lonely day, and it’s mind, the most loneliest day of my life.” The terrifying isolation of freedom when all Bolaire has known is purpose. Separated from creator, purpose, and sibling masks, who knows if they’d ever “wake up” like Bolaire did. Wandering around trying to figure out what exactly you want to do with the rest of your life. Only knowing you have to life it, no matter what it takes or costs you, and others. How does one like Bolaire find connection, with other “artifacts”, other people?

Abbey by Mitski “I am something I have been something. I was born something, what could I be?” Put plainly and simply, the sorrow, hope and curiosity from Bolaire understanding his nature. Now that the dust has settled and the cage has been destroyed. Knowing absence, knowing sleep, knowing darkness, what does one do with this newfound sentience?

Violin Partita No. 2 in D Minor, BWV 1004: Allemande by Johann Sebastian Bach This instrumental interlude is meant to be emblematic of Bolaire bearing witness to Halandil Fang’s body of work and for the first time since waking up, understanding there is more to theatre, and more to himself, than the role and the play that he was designed for. Falling in love with art, and not impossibly the artist.

Israfel from Nevermore “And poetry shall fill my soul with beauty which is hope.” This song is both about Bolaire’s adoration and admiration for Hal and his devotion to his own self-determination and love for the arts born of Hal’s work. A new sense of purpose fueling him as he seizes the future with gusto, not merely surviving but living.

Voilà by Emma Kok “Do not depart, I beg you to stay on for a while. It may not rescue me, no, but to go on without you, I know not how.” What do we do with this newfound willpower, new sense of purpose, who do we thank? This song is about Bolaire’s self-actualization and the birth of his fixation on Hal and a strong desire to actually meet the man and tell him his story. To make meaning and connection with others.

Neglected Space by Imogen Heap “I’m a story in mourning and you’re the author. So pour out your masterpiece. Entropy increasing, how long until I’m dust, can we discuss?” While Hal wasn’t exactly aware of it, there’s something to be said about the rennovative nature of his art affecting both places like the Hallowed Round and objects, namely Bolaire. This song feels to me like a metaphor for Bolaire falling into infatuation with Hal and their friendship being tied to both their lives work, history and what to make of it.

Do It For Her from Steven Universe “Remember, you do it for him, and you would do it again.” Bolaire has a very intense and obvious devotion to Halandil and it is by almost no stretch of the imagination that he would unhesitatingly commit violence on his behalf. In some ways, especially after Thjazi blackmails him, he already has, and he will in all likelihood continue to do so. After all, how else can you repay the man who restored your sense of purpose?

The Dance from Legend I cannot listen to this song within the context of Bolaire’s arc and not imagine him waltzing dramatically with Halandil (and yes Hal IS wearing Mia Sara’s gorgeous glittery black dress from the movie, you’re welcome). Much like the Bach from earlier in this playlist it is an instrumental interlude transitioning from the existentialism of Bolaire’s “birth” to the dark dealings and obsessive nature that lie beneath the surface of his otherwise beautiful, compelling, and I daresay relatable motivations.

Puppet Loosely Strung by The Correspondents “I’m tied to so many things I don’t need to do. I’ll loosen my strings to feel more like you.” Bolaire, with his elegant demeanor and unnerving mask and nervous laughter is in all likelihood probably at least a LITTLE unnerving to even the most compassionate who don’t know him well. I feel this song both applies to how most people see Bolaire, but also to how Bolaire sees Hal and perhaps wants to be more comfortable in himself the way his Bard friend is.

Body by Mother Mother “‘Cause I’ve grown tired of this body, a cumbersome and heavy body. I’ve grown tired of this body, fall apart with out me, body” It is no longer a secret to us, the audience, that Bolaire isn’t a body, and as a matter of fact, hates having to be attached to one. This song really captures the energy of how Bolaire must feel particularly when a body is starting to fall apart due to whatever draining forces (be it neglect for a physical body’s needs or something more magical) require him to get a fresh one every now and again. The mania and desperation of a ticking clock as you feel the gross meat machine you’re attached to disintegrate and the urgency of getting a fresh one.

Crescendo by Ashbury Heights “Is it rabies or just foam around my mouth? And do I claw against your throat or do I shout?” It is almost certainly not just body dysphoria that makes Bolaire discontent with his lot in life. Emotional and mental dysphoria from dread and wrestling his current host’s will into submission are also factors. How do you reconcile with a new and incredibly strong sense of self that you need to mentally, and perhaps sometimes physically fight for, every few months to a year or so to maintain?

Laplace’s Angel (Hurt People? Hurt People!) by Will Wood “And now we’re singing ooh, whatever you think of me, if you were in my shoes, you’d walk the same damn miles I do.” Bolaire lamenting his situation and his nature but feeling comfortable justifying himself as he sees it as having no other choice. I’m not going to get into the insane hypothetical ethics of sentient parasitism that’d take forever. However I think the tone of this song does pose an interesting question as to whether or not, and how much, Bolaire feels any sort of sense of guilt over what he must do to perpetuate his existence.

Friends In Low Places by Worthikids “Oh, just another one in a long line of no-ones, face off with the faceless, with my friends in low places.” For as victimized and innocent as Bolaire paints himself to the rest of the Schemers, even aside from murder(?) and whatever deal he had with Thjazi, he keeps some dubious company! I thought it would be fitting to put a thematically appropriate song that represents the POV of those whose lives Bolaire steals from them. Forgotten, perhaps morally bankrupt, but people nonetheless, just another body in a long line of hosts.

I’m Going Slightly Mad by Queen “I’m knitting with only one needle, unravelling fast it’s true. I’m driving only three wheels these days, but my dear how about you?” There is something so, unnervingly, intriguingly alien about existing from the perspective of being a sentient object that at no point and time has ever really been human. Not to mention the strange high he seems to get combined with his nervous laughter it just screams this song from the rooftops. He’s intense, he’s strange, he’s nuanced, he’s slightly mad!

Puttin’ on the Ritz by Taco “If you’re blue, and you don’t know where to go to why don’t you go to where fashion sits? Puttin’ on the Ritz.” We know Bolaire likes good wine and regularly tangles with nobility to the point where he is welcome among them. He clearly appreciates the finer things in life and high society even if it is through a peculiar lens. This absolutely feels like a song emblematic of Bolaire feeling absolutely on top of the world in the little comfortable corner of Aramán he’s carved out for himself.

Unhealthy Obsession by The Blake Robinson Synthetic Orchestra “You don’t know it yet, but you love me and I love you the same.” Listen, I’m not SAYING Bolaire straight up stalked Halandil in the time between seeing his work for the first time and actually befriending him. I’m implying that it’s not unlikely. However, even if it’s not the case, it is very obvious that the relationship that Bolaire has with Hal on his own end isn’t exactly healthy. At least not yet, if it’ll ever be. He is infatuated with Hal, maybe even obsessed, but love may or may not be on the table yet.

There’s a Good Reason These Tables Are Numbered Honey, You Just Haven’t Thought Of It Yet by Panic! At The Disco “I’m the new cancer never looked better, you can’t stand it. Because you say so under your breath, you’re reading lips ‘when did he get all confident?’” Bolaire, like all of Taliesin’s characters I daresay, has a catty streak and a taste for fashion. This once again circles back to Bolaire rubbing shoulders with nobility while hiding a debilitating and insane secret. This also tonally initiates to me Bolaire and Thjazi crossing paths (perhaps for the first time, perhaps not) and immediately being suspicious of one another but not making any moves.

Yes, to Err is Human, So Don’t Be One by Will Wood “Yes, to err is human, so don’t be one. This was a mistake, I’ll take my leave.” Bolaire thinking he’s slick, having a machine in tip-top shape for acquiring bodies and artifacts, everything he needs to keep his comfortable and impassioned life secure. Elegantly acquiring a new body whenever he needs one, the wig, the head to toe coverage, there’s no possible way anyone could find out his terrible secret.

Evil Eye by Franz Ferdinand “It looks so clean but I can see the crawling crawling creatures suspended in solution” Everything is starting to disintegrate and I don’t just mean the bodies Bolaire regularly cycles through. This song feels like someone who is very confident but is on the razor’s edge of becoming the victim of a witch hunt. Our witch-hunter is of course, one Thjazi Fang, who, somehow, has been watching him and figured out his secret.

The Mind Electric by Miracle Musical “So spiraling down thy majesty. I beg of thee, have mercy on me I was just a boy you see. I plead of thee have sympathy for me.” Bolaire has been caught red handed by the brother of the man who he’s been obsessed with since shortly after truly waking up. Thjazi sees him as a serial killer, Bolaire doesn’t see himself that way. Bolaire has claimed to want to tell Hal about his true nature and everything that comes with it, but why not tell him before Thjazi ever got involved? Truly this is a court case for the ages.

On Loss And Having by Flobots “It’s the sound of a gat and the sound of a drum, but whatever you attach to is what you become, one plus one horizontal line one.” This song absolutely captures the enmity between Thjazi and Bolaire to me. I’m sure there are many occasions where Thjazi disappeared and Bolaire prayed he was dead. So he might not have to get his hands dirty for him or to berid of him. Only for him to pop back up and ask him to compromise his personal ethics and job security once again. Two men desperately wishing that the other one didn’t exist, and there’s only one way this can go.

Anhedonia by Captain Gerbil (Fun fact: I am IRL friends with this composer, please check her out on Spotify and Soundcloud, she’s very good!) Ah yes! The third and final instrumental interlude to this iteration of Bolaire’s character development thus far! This song provokes the idea of Bolaire fastidiously planning Thjazi’s death in a way that Hal would never know and his hands would remain clean through Vaelus. Not yet knowing the work is about to be done for him.

Cinnamon Bone by Eliza Rickman “Hear the greater call come to break and fall, on you, on you, on you. Make a twisted face, walk a lighter way for you, for you, for you” The pain and anguish of being blackmailed into silence by Thjazi. The desperation to return to the normalcy Bolaire created for himself. The yearning to tell Hal the truth but being unable to, the bitter satisfaction of revenge knowing that no matter the outcome, truth, lies, death, all of them would hurt Hal and that is something under normal circumstances he would not abide.

Crimson Queen by The Warning “I know love shows in mysterious ways, still my screaming makes no sound, just silence at the roundabout.” Y’all deserve to know that one of my draft notes for this song is literally just “Y E A R N I N G + wine” first of all. Second of all OW MY FEELINGS, the way Hal can’t read more deeply into Bolaire’s words. The unimaginably complicated emotions that are probably at a boiling point under the surface but there’s no time to parse them out. The subtlety belies the intensity beneath, I’m looking forward to it all surfacing.

Make This Puppet Proud by Adam Hoek “Now, who was it that broke you? Show me where it goes, how.” The echoes of Bolaire’s hatred of Thjazi are and will be fascinating. This song is not only emblematic of Bolaire’s intriguing attachment to children young people, not just Hal’s but Occtis as well (though on could argue Hal has kind of adopted Occtis because of Thaisha). It also denotes a narrowly missed alternate timeline where Bolaire saw his shattered sibling in Obalad’s coffin.

The Dismemberment Song by Blue Kid “A little of you, a lot of bloodletting. I know the sensation you’re probably dreading but cutting you up will be so refreshing for me.” Bolaire 100% threw a little party of one for himself when Thjazi was executed as soon as he got the chance and you cannot tell me otherwise. I can imagine Bolaire fantasizing about killing Thjazi himself and I feel like this euphoric freedom is part of why Bolaire was so glib about acquiring a new body when we first learned his secret.