#blondegirlproblems

Germán: “You see? Even your own cat is scared to say the wrong thing.”

When the battery of your Apple Watch swells and the faceplate pops off.... #killmenow #applewatch #blondegirlproblems #girlsintech (at Fort Mill, South Carolina)

Haagen-Dazs makes it all better.... #blondegirlproblems (at 20502 Hamlin)

Awaken after barely sleeping, throw the rest of the items in suit case, frantically shower, grab food, and head out the front door. . . You'd think one would head to the airport due to being late. Wrong. If you're going to travel you foolishly you must have a bag that will match 90% of your outfits. This bag cannot be purchased ahead of time. Forethought is for the logical. This bag must be purchased at the mall a mere 1.5 hours before you must have your bag checked in at the airport. And due to this very necessary bag you check in with 13 minutes to spare. . . . After checking in you naturally must panic through security and customs. Whilst the perma-panic face is planted on your face you should try to make friends. Especially if they do yoga in the airport and tell you to shine your light. Then to calm your nerves further before the flight you should drink a 16 ounce latte instead of taking your anti-anxiety medication. So when your flight is delayed thirty minutes you're extra jumpy and when it's finally time to board you have to pee. Ignore the urge and board with the rest of the passengers and then drop your packed to the max carry-on luggage on to the head of a passenger. This is the best way to get help with your luggage. Asking nicely for help is for the courteous. Get situated and wait nervously for take off. Make friends with the Romanian sitting next to you. You want to remember that you have to pee after take off and the plane levels out and the others in your row have gotten comfortable. Disturbing others early in an 8.5 hour flight is ideal. In fact drink lots of water after your coffee so you can continue to disturb others for the entire flight. Stepping over the other passengers isn't enough disruption however. You must start a movie, doze off, and wake up flailing your arms because you hear sirens. The sirens signally an emergency are of course from your movie but flailing helps those around you know that you're good under pressure. And so ends day 1 still in the air somewhere over the Atlantic ocean. 

Bob Mandel, Global Resource Dilemmas, Lewis & Clark College