#blondbeard

So about Chris Hemsworth as “Blondbeard” Cloudy: Imagine Blondebeard trying to seduce Stede right in front of Ed 

Me: I'm picturing Blondebeard being another pirate from Ed's past, but arrogant, handsome, successful, charismatic and charming, and him and Blackbeard have this rivalry where he low key bullys Ed: takes the center of any room he's in, ignores Ed, talks over him, says stupid ideas like they're clever and gets people to think he's fantastic when really he's like--

 Me: omfg, I need Chris Hemsworth to be Ed's Captain Hammer

So now I present to you:

Blondebeard: the Captain Hammer of OFMD

And he never sees or acknowledges that Ed's this successful pirate, always condescends to him. Blondebeard is to Ed like Terry's brother is to Terry in Brooklyn Nine-Nine, a cross between that and Captain Hammer. So imagine this asshole, that everyone generally loves but who has never been nice to Ed, from Ed's past, swans in and starts flirting with Stede. In season 2, BEFORE Ed and Stede have reconciled. Stede may be there but Ed is still upset, hasn't decided if he can forgive him or move forward, let alone if he will take him back or give him another chance. So Stede is there to prove himself to Ed, basically. Then: enter Blondebeard. Flirting with Stede, immediately, and being so charming and so winning (Ed thinks) that Ed's immediately jealous, and he hadn't even decided if he still wanted Stede! But he can't stand for Blondie to win him over. And then Blondebeard privately is pissing on Ed's shoes (metaphorically) about it. "Oh, did you like that little blonde man? I thought you weren't interested, that he was fair game and all that. My he looks delicious." Ed: this isn't fair, you always do this! You swan in and spot whatever it is I want most and they you get it first! and you don't even want it! You just get it so I can't have it! And then you leave them in ruins and you’re going to do it again! (I'm paraphrasing, Ed would never say it like that.)