#blog 1

Shotgun engraving (Perazzi)- Rodger L. Ronnie

Firearm engraving is a popular and lucrative subset of metalworking that gained popularity in the 1800s. Since then, master engravers have endeavored to hone their techniques, evolving from a form of practicality (personalizing firearms with names) to its own sophisticated art form. Rodger L. Ronnie is an engraver who stands out with his firearm and watch collection. His skill in creating organic shapes and adding texture with hatching, with such a small medium, culminated in the masterful reputation he garnered in the engraving realm.

So today wasn't planned as restricted, but I feel extra guilty. I ate nearly 2000 kcal. This number is higher than actual amout I consumed but I can't really tell how much it was.

hello there. My name is Sam. I'm a stupid film fanatic, lover of the aesthetic, bisexual, eastern European woman. I'm 20 at the time I am typing this.

I am a huge loser who is obsessed with getting appreciated. I love attention, which is one if the reasons I dress weird and wear cool makeup and shave off my eyebrows or dye my hair some extra colour. I am a hippie-punk hybrid. which means I want peace and I want to fight.

my style though is more alternative then anything, but sometimes I end up looking like the ordinary person, which is great as well.

my love life is sad. I don't date, not that I don't want to date, it's more that no one wants a broken doll. I'm also not that attractive.

I have family issues, meaning i don't necessary have daddy issues, or that I have mommy issues. I have both, beat that.

my dad was a drunk, who never wanted me, used to ignore me and one time I saw him... assaulting my mom. in a sexual way. I was young at the time, around 9, but I still knew it was wrong. I tried to help my mom but my dad started yelling at me saying that "this is his house, and this is his wife so he can do what he wants with her". my mom was clearly not okay, but my brothers took me into their room, turned on a video game and tried to make me forget what I just witnessed.

my mom on the other hand is a very sensitive being, however she is not the most innocent one in our family. she has told me a few times that she doesn't love me. and when I confront her about that she just says that I'm making it all up. which is what she does always. she will never admit she is wrong. she thinks that she is the wisest person in the family. she is materialistic, however she will never admit to that. she doesn't care about other people's feelings, she only cares about herself. she used to throw away my stuff without asking me, because she didn't like it, but a lot of times those were things that meant me something.

my parents are divorced and I am the reason. my mom even told me that their relationship started falling apart when she got pregnant with me. they divorced on my 6th birthday. because of the divorce my brother hated me during his teenage years, so much so that I used to be scared of him, and we never had a normal relationship. he did apologise countless times, and I always told him that it's okay. but he still doesn't believe that I forgave him. I did.

but now things are a bit different. my dad changed. in the past 4 years he changed so much, I can't believe he once was the way that he was. he is genuinely interested in my hobbies and my dreams, we have normal conversations. when my mom used to get drunk and I would cry he would come into my room, hug me and try to calm me down while my mom would make fun of me for crying.

now my mom, she did change a bit. she doesn't drink as much, and she seems to at least try to understand me. we still fight over and over again. but now we make up and move on.

after reading this you might think "wow she must hate her family"

I don't.

I love them so much. I moved out recently and i miss them nearly every day.

this might be some sort of Stockholm syndrome, but I can't go around saying that my family is awful.

yes we are not... perfect. but no family is. they never apologized for anything but I still forgive them.

my mom actually until this day does not understand that divorce affects the kids extremely. she says that's it's her and dads own private business.

now because of the way I was brought up, I never believed in love. at one point I tried to convince myself and everyone around me that it exists, but that's just because I love the idea of love.

I never saw it, and whenever I felt it, I got scared and ran away from it. I distance myself from people I love cause I don't know what to do with love.

anyway.

I am creative, hard-working, and friendly with other people once I get to know them. I enjoy working in teams and collaborating with other people. I am good at both hand-drawn and digital work, and try to work with limited colours.

I have always been interested in art - I did Art and Design for GCSE and chose Graphics as one of the three subjects in college. Although I enjoyed many of the tasks in Graphics, I felt that it was not the career path for me.

I first got interested in Illustration during The Big Show of 2015, where I saw Chloe Yelland's work on her children's stories. I thought her work was absolutely amazing, and I decided that that was what I wanted to do. Later, I chose to do Year Zero first, as I wanted to try various art mediums, and for a while I considered doing fine art before finally settling on Illustration. I loved the idea of telling a narrative, and the various ways to do illustration - for example, using Photoshop, or Screen Printing, or Laser Cutting.

One of my favourite mediums is charcoal. Those I consider my best pieces of art have been done in charcoal, and sometimes pastel.

One aspect I have started to do recently is Political Art. I have strong political views, and love satirical cartoons that you get in newspapers, so I decided to start doing that.

Many artists and animators are of great inspiration to me. Studio Gibli is one of my favourite film studios - their animation is sublime and their films are (most of the time), heart-warming, and carry strong messages of love and family and friendship. They are always a joy to watch, and for many years I have tended towards manga style art for characters.

 I would love to improve my scenery skills, as well as making my characters flow more like Studio Gibli.

Rainbow Rowell - an author and graphic novelist whose illustrations are fun, concise, and give a great sense of her characters.

Simone Lia - a cartoonist in the Observer who always does hilarious and relatable cartoons.

Above - most people do this, I suspect. Procrastination is a very big problem.

Not a good idea - AKA Self diagnosis via Google doesn't actually lead anywhere

A personal favourite of mine, as I find it very heartwarming.

Personality test - Mediator Personality (INFP, -A/-T)

(Below, page one from my personality test results)

Mediator personalities are true idealists, always looking for the hint of good in even the worst of people and events, searching for ways to make things better. While they may be perceived as calm, reserved, or even shy, Mediators have an inner flame and passion that can truly shine. Comprising just 4% of the population, the risk of feeling misunderstood is unfortunately high for the Mediator personality type – but when they find like-minded people to spend their time with, the harmony they feel will be a fountain of joy and inspiration.

Being a part of the Diplomat Role group, Mediators are guided by their principles, rather than by logic (Analysts), excitement (Explorers), or practicality (Sentinels). When deciding how to move forward, they will look to honor, beauty, morality and virtue – Mediators are led by the purity of their intent, not rewards and punishments. People who share the Mediator personality type are proud of this quality, and rightly so, but not everyone understands the drive behind these feelings, and it can lead to isolation.

All that is gold does not glitter; not all those who wander are lost; the old that is strong does not wither; deep roots are not reached by the frost.

J. R. R. Tolkien

We Know What We Are, but Know Not What We May Be

At their best, these qualities enable Mediators to communicate deeply with others, easily speaking in metaphors and parables, and understanding and creating symbols to share their ideas. Fantasy worlds in particular fascinate Mediators, more than any other personality type. The strength of their visionary communication style lends itself well to creative works, and it comes as no surprise that many famous Mediators are poets, writers and actors. Understanding themselves and their place in the world is important to Mediators, and they explore these ideas by projecting themselves into their work.

Mediators have a talent for self-expression, revealing their beauty and their secrets through metaphors and fictional characters.

Mediators’ ability with language doesn’t stop with their native tongue, either – as with most people who share the Diplomat personality types, they are considered gifted when it comes to learning a second (or third!) language. Their gift for communication also lends itself well to Mediators’ desire for harmony, a recurring theme with Diplomats, and helps them to move forward as they find their calling.

Listen to Many People, but Talk to Few

Unlike their Extraverted cousins though, Mediators will focus their attention on just a few people, a single worthy cause – spread too thinly, they’ll run out of energy, and even become dejected and overwhelmed by all the bad in the world that they can’t fix. This is a sad sight for Mediators’ friends, who will come to depend on their rosy outlook.

If they are not careful, Mediators can lose themselves in their quest for good and neglect the day-to-day upkeep that life demands. Mediators often drift into deep thought, enjoying contemplating the hypothetical and the philosophical more than any other personality type. Left unchecked, Mediators may start to lose touch, withdrawing into “hermit mode”, and it can take a great deal of energy from their friends or partner to bring them back to the real world.

There are people in our life that we meet for a reason. If we would only take time to listen to them or try to understand their purpose in our life, we would see the light of a guardian angel.

“He is an angel, she told them.” With this affirmation, the neighbor woman who knew everything about life and death, brings light in Pelayo’s courtyard when she identifies the man with the wings in “A very old man with enormous wings” translated by Gregory Rabassa. The same light appears in “Sonny’s Blues” by James Baldwin, when his brother comes to see Sonny playing. “Sonny’s fingers filled the air with life, his life.” For other people, seeing a light means getting somebody’s admiration. “A hungry artist” by Franz Kafka presents the artist who would fast just to get somebody’s admiration. All the three stories are based on religious terminologies like fasting, angel, Lord, God.

        The old man with the wings in “A very old man with enormous wings” was found moving and groaning in Pelayo’s courtyard. He was exposed as an experiment to the society that would treat him as a supernatural force and would judge him whether he is a real angel or not. This story leads back to the bible when Jesus was given to people as a proof of God. He was judged, followed by many people and rejected by even more people. The man in the courtyard “was dressed like a ragpicker. There were only a few faded hairs left”. He was an angel given to Pelayo and Elisenda for a reason and he opened his wings and rised up in the sky after his mission was done. We often get to understand some peoples’ missions and their purpose in our lives. Other times we let angels fly without knowing their mission.

         The hungry artist in “A hunger artist” story, by Franz Kafka has a lot in common with the old man with the wings who also made it through the winter without any food. The artist became known for his fasting, He would not remember the number of days of him fasting. He would fast more then forty days and forget that. In his artist’s cage he was admired by many people who were the light to him, but who stopped admiring him since fasting would not interest them anymore. After the hungry artist passes away, he was replaced by a young jaguar who previously occupied the case. In this story the author shows how easy people can be replaced after they pass away. Therefore there is a saying “Don’t try to be a person of success, but a person of value.” The hungry artist showed many people that fasting in not impossible and you do that for yourself not for anyone else.

        Another victim of society is Sonny from “Sonny’s Blues”  by James Baldwin. Sonny was put under arrest for selling heroin. He had his own dreams and never gave up on those, even if he did not have the support he needed from his brother who would blame and try to set him up for failure rather then helping him. In the end of the story the brother feels proud of Sonny seeing him playing in a club where everyone knew and respected him. If his brother did not see the light in Sonny, he found other persons who would encourage him and accept him the way we are. We are taking about acceptance in all three stories and failing to do so leads to loosing our dear people.

When you think of a book with unicorns, you probably think of picture books for little girls, and you likely wouldn’t expect it to mix with things like critical thinking or literary significance. However, if you’d prefer a more interesting text starring our favourite mythical equestrians, I’d like to introduce you to The Last Unicorn by Peter S. Beagle. This book has sold more than five million copies worldwide since its original publication, and is often said to be one of the best fantasy novels written of all time. I’m here to show you how this book, or at least the first half of it, has proven its beauty and significance to me.

The Last Unicorn can at face value be identified as a fantasy novel, shown through the medieval setting, an inclusion of supernatural and magical forces, and the titular unicorn. But if we look a little harder at the text, we can begin to argue how it fits the genre and literary movement of magical realism. We can define it as such: 

“Magical realism, or magic realism, is an approach to literature that weaves fantasy and myth into everyday life,” (ThoughtCo). 

Typically, literary works under magical realism are given a setting which matches the one we live in, but I believe that the juxtaposition of magic and reality in Beagle’s work are a unique nod towards this literary movement. This genre ends up contributing heavily towards the setting, and the setting reinforces the presence of the genre, and talking about them separately would bring up lots of the same points. 

While on the topic of setting, we are given a beautiful one in The Last Unicorn. We don’t have an exact period in history, but we can infer through the first half of the story that it’s based off of medieval Europe, especially through the language and vocabulary used by Beagle. We are given a magical version of this period in time where mythical creatures (see: unicorns) used to be a big thing, but have either gone extinct or unrecognized by society. Beagle builds the world in The Last Unicorn with a kind of middle ground between enchantment and disenchantment. For example, he includes wizards and unicorns, but the wizards are disgraced and the unicorns are thought to be nearly extinct. This is important because unicorns as a species are forgotten by the world, further driving home the themes of finding one's own identity and self-realization. The setting is a stark contrast from the usual one, which most frequently is a fantasy world at its peak, containing magic in every aspect. We can see a similarity between this world and our own, with the cynical nature of many characters as well as the disbelief in magic. The idea of a world between fantasy and reality can be connected to the idea of growing up, for example, having society tell us that beings we believed to be magical (Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, etc) aren’t real. We become so used to these figures, and when we are told that they’re merely fabrications, we have to cope with the reality while also questioning the legitimacy of what we already believe we know.

Through applying an LGBT* lens to this text, we can begin to extract concepts of significant depth and meaning in reference to this literary work of fiction. The character of the Unicorn is richly profound, especially when connected to themes and motifs of identity and the self, which is much of what LGBT theory concerns itself with. First off, we can see an immediate and obvious connection between the traditional concept of unicorns and the nature of femininity, but we can further connect their species to the lesbian continuum, especially separatist lesbianism. The Unicorn stays in her lilac wood alone, in seclusion from anyone who isn’t like her, and specifically hides from humanity, which she refers to as men. In the first chapter, the Unicorn hides from men out of discomfort and fear:

“One day it happened that two men with long bows rode through her forest, hunting for deer. The unicorn followed them, moving so warily that not even the horses knew she was near. The sight of men filled her with an old, slow, strange mixture of tenderness and terror,” (Beagle 3).

She is apprehensive of leaving her forest in fear of coming in contact with humanity, but is motivated to venture out in order to find other unicorns like her who share her identity. In her journey into the outside world, she encounters an ignorant heterocentric society which is completely unaware of unicorns, assuming they’re a myth and that the Unicorn is simply a white mare. This further develops her inner conflict, resulting in her becoming angry whenever her species is ignored and identified incorrectly as just a horse. Flipping the coin of homosexuality, we can analyze the character of Schmendrick the magician through seeing him as a coded gay man. On an immediate level, we can connect his character to the traditional American definition and stereotype of a closeted gay male. Schmendrick is generally seen as an inferior and bumbling wizard who tries and often fails to successfully perform magic, leading to a struggle with his identity of a magician. We can see Schmendrick struggling in his attempts in chapter 3 to free the unicorn from her cage, saying,

“‘I dreamed it differently, but I knew… You deserve the services of a great wizard,’ he said to the unicorn, ‘but I’m afraid you’ll have to be glad of the aid of a second-rate pickpocket,’” (Beagle 48).

He is shunned constantly by the societal norms in this world for his lack of skill in magic, which we can connect to internalized homophobia in his failure to live up to the standards set by the heteropatriarchy. His struggle to live up to the acceptable title of a great magician can be connected to the struggle held within compulsory heterosexuality, and he wishes to change his identity while the Unicorn embraces it. The Unicorn at first is opposed to allowing a man to come with her, leading for the magician to plead to her to allow him to assist her in the journey. Gay coded Schmendrick is seen as inferior to the lesbian coded Unicorn, even further relating their dynamic towards the imbalance and mirrored concepts of masculine/feminine gender identity addressed in queer* theory. In chapter 4, Beagle tackles the idea of identity at its crux with an interaction between the Unicorn and Schmendrick the magician,

“‘There it is’, the unicorn thought, feeling the first spidery touch of sorrow on the inside of her skin. That is how it will be to travel with a mortal, all the time. ‘No,’ she replied. ‘I cannot turn you into something you are not, no more than the witch could. I cannot turn you into a true magician.’” (Beagle 60).

Schmendrick wants to be a more acceptable version of what he is, and strives to perform in ways deemed by society to be fitting for a wizard, but falls short. This aspect of self hate is far too common in internal conflicts of LGBT individuals, and we can see the conflicts that face Schmendrick the magician as literary parallels to this experience.

In conclusion, The Last Unicorn has proven itself to be a lovely text so far, and I believe it will carry that through the next half of the story. For what it lacks in obvious real world parallels and connections to our modern world, it more than makes up for that in thematic elements, as well as interesting and complex characters, masterfully crafted environments, and most importantly, unicorns. Who wouldn’t take the time to read an epic tale about unicorns? Surely, nobody I would associate myself with.

Well, is it? Of course, it is. Since the launch of technology, we as humans have gradually changed the way we interact and connect with one another, that’s a no brainer. Gone are the days of Pen Pals (what were they again?) nowadays we spend most of our time looking like this.

In Week 1 we looked at the brilliant internet research pioneer and psychologist Sherry Turkle’s “Connected but alone” (TED-Ed 2013) presentation which explored the idea that people who are only connected through technology are ultimately becoming disconnected from their inner and outer lives AKA the real world. As Asano (2017) notes, as the years have gone past the amount of time people spend on social media increases, on average teens now spend up to 9 hours a day on social platforms, that nearly 64 hours a week browsing the likes of Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, YouTube, Twitter, Pinterest. It’s kind of scary to think that some teens only know this digital age we live in, what was there to do before the internet and social media?

 For those baby boomers, social media is often defined to as “the many relatively inexpensive and widely accessible electronic tools that enables anyone to publish and access information, collaborate on a common effort, or build relationships” (Murthy 2013, p. 7-8). Networks like Facebook and YouTube exceed billions of monthly active users, however as Newman (2014) notes, there is only a very small percentage of people who physically see their social connections on a regular basis. This is where the issues come in and what Sherry Turkles presentation highlights, have we lost touch of reality? It’s become seemingly too easy to just send a text or a “wave” in Facebook messenger to check in on a friend rather than physically see them in person (as that would take effort). In doing so as Taylor (2009) suggest, are we substituting real relationships for virtual ones? People can now fulfil many of their needs for connection through online communities without the fear of rejection, as they can present their best faces to their digital circles.

Digital or Online Communities is defined as “a group of people who regularly interact with each online, especially to share information and opinions on a common interest, with users of the internet” (Oxford Dictionary 2017). If you are a part of any of the social media networking sites mentioned above, you are a part of a digital community. Digital communities can be seen as a positive as you can interact with likeminded individuals anytime anywhere 24/7 or as Danah Boyd (2012) puts it, being “always-on”. The downside to being “always-on” is you lack physical stimulation, “there is no substitute for the depth and breadth of real, flesh-and-blood relationships where you can see, hear, smell, touch and sense the other person” (Taylor 2009).

A recent example surrounding the idea of social media and Turkle’s idea of people connected through technology becoming disconnected from their inner and outer lives can see through this interview with Ryan “Fitzy” Fitzgerald – who reveals his dependence on social media is having serious effects on his relationships.

http://www.bodyandsoul.com.au/mind-body/wellbeing/i-have-an-addiction-i-know-i-do/news-story/6cb35c809993e0ea40e49b41fabab9b6

 Reference:

 Artotem 2008, “IHOP Cell Phone Meal Family” [image], Flickr, viewed 9th December 17

< https://www.flickr.com/photos/artotemsco/2857720047>

Assano, E 2017, “How much time do people spend on Social Media”, Social Media Today, viewed 09th December 17

https://www.socialmediatoday.com/marketing/how-much-time-do-people-spend-social-media-infographic

 BodyAndSoul 2017, “Ryan Fitzy I have an addiction” BodyAndSoul, viewed 9th December 17

< http://www.bodyandsoul.com.au/mind-body/wellbeing/i-have-an-addiction-i-know-i-do/news-story/6cb35c809993e0ea40e49b41fabab9b6>

 Ellison, Nicole and Danah Boyd. (2013). “Sociality through Social Network Sites.” In the Oxford Handbook of Internet Studies (Ed. William H. Dutton). Oxford: Oxford University Press.

Murthy, D 2013, Twitter: Social Communication in the Twitter Age, Wiley, pp. 1-13.

Newman, D 2014, “4 Technology Trends Disrupting How we Communicate” FORBES, viewed 9th December 17 https://www.forbes.com/sites/danielnewman/2014/05/13/4-technology-trends-disrupting-how-we-communicate/

 Oxford Living Dictionaries 2017, “Online Community” Oxford Dictionaries, viewed 09th December 17 < https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/online_community>

Social Media Today, “How much time do I Spend on Social Media” [image], Social Media Today, viewed 9th December 17  https://www.socialmediatoday.com/marketing/how-much-time-do-people-spend-social-media-infographic>