#blightsworn

@blightsworn asked, " there's more that you aren't telling me . " - post-fade!hawke ? :)

there was scarcely a moment nowadays when hawke didn't feel as though she was underwater. the REAL WORLD was crisper than the fade, but it seemed so dull. the sounds felt muffled, the touches felt like static under her fingertips -- as though she had been shooting lightning from out of her hands for days straight. she didn't feel real. nobody did. and sometimes, her brain whispered that MAYBE IT WASN'T. it wouldn't be the first time that the nightmare played the long game -- designing a rescue, a recovery. she once was tricked into thinking that she was in skyhold for two months until she realized that the nightmare had gotten leliana's smile wrong... and then the horrors rinsed and repeated.

she was LOOKING in his direction, but she wasn't looking at him.

"there's nothing more to tell." it was a lie, but she was so TIRED. what could he want to know? why did he want to know it? if he was the nightmare, was this just a trick to try and get more information from her about her loved ones? her family that she didn't even HAVE any more? secrets that it used like food, slurping them up messily and savoring the feeling of her becoming emptier and emptier? her mind was growing hazy again. was this real?

@blightsworn​ said: " i'm sorry... do you mind if i sleep in here? " warden nightmares are the worst 😔 nightmare starters accepting!

      she isn’t ASLEEP, merely resting when the fabric of her tent is disturbed - leliana glances over from the VERY fascinating roof of her tent at the sound of lorin’s voice. 

“nightmares?” it’s something she understands well. she’s had her own fair share of nightmares, especially in the wake of the blight. and honestly? the comfort of somebody else to share a bed with is far too tempting to pass up the opportunity.

when it comes to romance, hawke is very much a tough nut to crack. she doesn't know how to turn herself OFF, how to remove the mask that she's so carefully crafted and placed on herself to trick the world into thinking that she was light, easy, breezy. she needs someone who can call her out when she's deflecting, when she's still being the hawke that the public sees her as. but when the layers start getting peeled back, hawke can be QUITE the romantic -- and quite nervous and shy. she has money but hates to use it, opting to pick wildflowers or find weird little trinkets to give to her love as keepsakes. she prefers quality time and TOUCH above all else -- a hand on the back of their neck, trailing fingers up and down arms, writing her name in some invisible ink on their skin with her fingers as well. she's very much about SKIN ON SKIN contact and craves the closeness. when you finally see hawke as she is, she's just a touch starved girl who wants to give her lover a love letter, a flower, and a bit of her time.

it takes a LOT to break her down, though. her fear of being abandoned and, even more than that, her fear of LOSS runs so deep that it feels near impossible to open up. she'll most likely try to keep someone at arm's length, maybe even avoiding them when she realizes her feelings are deeper than she's comfortable with, changing up her party to stop taking them on missions with her and send them off on their own. she thinks she's cursed, and therefore those who are close to her are also cursed by association. but the closer you get, the more GRUESOME your end. every single person she has ever truly loved, who has ever been the closest to her, has either died or been violently ripped away from her. at the end of the day, when her friends all stumble back to their homes and she's in the hawke manor, she feels utterly alone. her biggest fear is letting someone in and having them be taken from her too.

@blightsworn said: a kiss in the aftermath of a fight. 👉👈

        there's a certain synergy to the way they fight together, now that they've done it a few times. she's able to cast her spells with deadly precision over and around him while he keeps their combatants at bay. they make a fair team, she thinks as she fires off a lightning bolt over the swing of his sword. the close quarters are not entirely ideal, but they're making do.

        standing back-to-back, calling out cues to one another as they fight, they manage to finish off the attacking brigands. amrita whirls as the last one falls, laughing from the thrill, the taste of a storm still on her tongue. only, they're much closer than she realized, and she stumbles slightly, grabbing his shoulders for support. feels his hand catch her back and pull her against him so she doesn't fall.

        and they both freeze, her gazing up at him, the ghost of a laugh still on her lips. then his mouth comes down to meet hers, brief but heated and a little bit frenzied, all racing hearts and heightened adrenaline. she inhales sharply through her nose, rising up onto her toes to follow as he draws away.

@blightsworn said, “ i trust you more than most, but i’m sorry, that’s too much to ask. that’s my responsibility. ”

they didn't have TIME for this. her eyes widened in shock and... annoyance? ANGER? as he spoke. she shared the sentiment -- there weren't many people she trusted on this planet, maybe about as many as she could count on both of her hands. he was absolutely one of those fingers... but with that trust also came the ability for hawke to say exactly what she felt. more than usual. because she TRUSTED him with her emotions. it just so happened that this was an incredibly high stakes situation where he was going to be hearing EXACTLY what she thought.

"absolutely not -- it's out of the QUESTION." her eyes darted towards the nightmare, down for the moment but not for long, before returning back to her dear friend. the WARDEN. "you and the inquisitor have to get out, you have to talk to the wardens and explain to them everything that's happening. they still NEED you lorin. i know you have your feelings about everything, but..." she trailed off, her throat getting tighter and heart beating just a bit faster. this was it. this moment meant EVERYTHING.

she reached for his hand, squeezed it tight and for once didn't care about how clammy her palm felt. this might be the last time she touched another person. she was staying -- it was DECIDED. she would fight with him until she was blue in the face. "i have nothing," she finally told him in a breath, the tears in her eyes heavy and visible. father, mother, bethany, carver... they were all gone from her. everyone had gone their separate ways. kirkwall was a mess. varric had his inquisition. she was so ALONE.

@blightsworn said: “try to stay quiet. is the wound deep?”

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FRIENDSHIP.     childhood friends  /  work buddies or coworkers  /  family friends  /  friends with benefits  /  smoking buddies  /  adventure buddies  /  fake friends  /  recently friends  /  party buddies  /  friendship of need  /  dying friendship  /  circumstantial friendship  /  partners in crime  /  old friendship  /  [ your muse ] is the good influence  /  [ your muse ] is the bad influence  /  [ my muse ] is the good influence  /  [ my muse ] is the bad influence  /  opposites attract  /  ride or die  /  frenemies  /  roommates or flatmates  /  penpals  /  exes to friends  /  enemies to friends  /  other

ROMANCE.     childhood sweethearts  /  [ your muse is mines ] childhood crush  /  [ my muse is yours ] childhood crush  /  exes  /  exes to lovers  /  forbidden lovers  /  highschool sweethearts  /  secret relationship  /  opposites attract  /  long distance  /  unrequited [ from your muses side ]  /  unrequited [ from my muses side ]  /  unrequited [ from both sides ]  /  skinny love  /  friends to lovers  /  enemies to lovers  /  spurious relationship  /  power couple  /  newly entered  /  soulmates [ metaphorical ]  /  soulmates  [ literal ]  /  awkward  /  turning toxic  /  toxic love  /  cheating [ on your muse ]  /  cheating [ with your muse ]  /  other 

FAMILIAL.     siblings [ half ]  /  siblings [ step ]  /  [ my muse ] is an older sibling figure to your younger sibling figure  /  [ my muse ] is a younger sibling figure to your older sibling figure muse  /  [ my muse ] is a parental figure to yours  /  [ my muse ] is a child figure to your muse  /  guardian figure  /  legal guardian  /  adoptive child  /  foster child  /  [ your muse ] is taken under mines wing  /  [ my muse ] is taken under yours wing  /  other

@blightsworn​ said: [ stare ] reverse - lorin getting caught admiring, more like 😌 a f f e c t i o n accepting!

      there’s a quiet conversation around the campfire, something low energy between all of them. but leliana is BARELY interested in it, if she’s honest. and it seems that she’s not the only one with attention ELSEWHERE. as soon as she dares to steal a glance over at the warden, she realizes that he is ALREADY looking in her direction. 

she’s not exactly sure for how LONG he’s been looking her way, but it’s enough to bring a grin to her lips. for a brief moment, she glances back to the rest of the group around the fire before looking back to lorin.