#blessedbehisname

Today God taught me to remind myself that I was of no good without Him, that it was purely through His grace that I was able to attain the life I have now and the things I had, I have and will have were never mine.

I was able to bless others because of Him. Indeed it was ablessing to bless others especially when you did the Jesus' way. I happened to met ones that I could call 'my contacts', I was given a chance to share same joy when Jesus had His disciples. They were my answered prayers, I have been seeking God's word about this that I wanted to have disciples too, whom to teach and share my love with. Finally I could say "I'm getting there Lord, I now have them." It was a euphoric experience, to offer my life to them, imvesting for something I know would matter, hoping it would fully give them and God a good profit. I made visions for them, on what I call my personal ministry. I prayed for them, fasted for them, spent time and effort only to bring smile on my Father's face. Our fellowship and meetings every week went well and I have witnessed them grew in their faith. I can't wait to watch them become mature and work with them as co-laborer in Christ. Sooner or later my 12 will become complete. But today, when I invited them for our bible study schedule, one of them said that she couldn't and that she would stop seeing me for such cause. The next few hours passed and not one of the other two replied. "What a wonderful day," I thought. I was silent for a while and began contemplating on God's possible explanation in view of His perspective. Is there something that I have done to receive such punishment? Why would He give then take away? I thought they were going there, to where I was going. I thought we had the same track. But these statements were less reliable than these: I thought they received Jesus not just their savior, but their Lord. I thought they loved God, and me. I thought they would stay. I wish they would. But they left. They love themselves more than Him and there's nothing I can do with it than submit to God's plan and pray. To this end, He still has the supremacy over all. I don't deserve any of the things I have received from Him yet He gave it to me. Thus, He also had the power to take away anything as He planned it.

Psalm 16:2 I said to the LORD, "You are my Lord; apart from you I have no good thing."

It was by His grace I was able to minister others, they are His and not mine.

Accepting God's way of turning things is really a challenging part of being a discple of Him. But I will say as Job also said,

Job 1:21 "Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I will depart. The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised."

and His ways are higher than what I can imagine. Then self, hope for beautiful things to come. 💕