#blechk

Mass stuff

was gonna do one long post but now art block is upon me so this is mostly just text stuff

I talk about book 3's Grey bc I like it and then I just have a bunch of general notes about Mass and then low effort doodles

dont mind mistakes I'm very tired atm

Grey

one of my favorite chapters bc its angstyyy. its the whole arguement between Mass and Ame..

so I wrote some notes while rereading it for the 100th time

Gray magic! Which is also coming up more in recent chapters too, with ‘Smoke’ and what happened to Louisiana so thats cool (technically that was black magic?, although no one really knew what happened to Louie anyway. I feel bad for her :((( )

Have you considered dogpiling on top of America to stop him from going?

 Mass asking if Ame hates him is painful for both parties (Ame literally talked about how his kids deserved more than he did and etc like the chapter before this) (Mass’ self worth is in the floor)

 America :((( he so scared for his baby. Plus, he’s right in that there’s really no good options. People are gonna get hurt either way. and they are constantly being targeted. what can he do? he's just one guy

 Damn how much potential does this dude have for the rev to care so much

 “I- we would never see you again” ‘I WOULD NEVER SEE YOU AGAIN.’ SOBBING. I love lines when they change it part-way through saying it to make it less painful. poor Ameee he just wants his kids to be happy and safe :((

 ‘Convert’ him?

“They would fight to break you and you would become a tool” “they would sooner torture you then let you out of their sight” damn Ame, those are some intense phrases

 It makes sense that Mass was so emotionally distraught. Those are some harsh things to hear as a teenager (not to blame Ame obv), especially if its about something you cant control and already have trauma about. (In general finding out the organization out for your familys blood would kill for yours specifically and if they got you you would never get free. Is a pretty terrifying thing to hear.)

They cryin. I wonder if Ame knows what happened to Mass? Or if he just has to assume.

General Notes on Mass obv

Very extreme emotions (that he isn’t really good at controlling)

Causes him to be relatively emotionally unstable. He tends to have sudden/easily triggered mood swings.

He’s also sensitive (but would not admit it). He cries easily and gets embarrassed about it.

He’ll take inoffensive comments as personal attacks– very argumentative (fight response). 

This causes him to push most people away, but he doesn’t do any of it intentionally. It’s just how his brain be.

He’s tired most of the time bc. Anger is a very exhausting emotion to feel.

He does feel very guilty though. He doesn’t understand why people would want to be around him, and since he feels hateful towards his own behavior he assumed everyone else hates him too (even if they don’t). But, at the same time, the idea of everyone hating him is one of Mass’ greatest fears so its. rough for the little dude.

But yeah he does feel guilty and apologize when he accidentally hurts people’s feelings. He tries to make it up to them.

Plus he feels inferior to his siblings because (in his mind) most of them are better at controlling their emotions and Mass feels like he’s being dramatic but he can’t seem to stop it.

Total pessimist. And internally self-deprecating (low self esteem).

He cares about his family more than anything.

Probably has a very active inner child (because his innocence was taken away so early on)

Oh another thing I think he gets dissociative episodes on the rare occasion. I mostly imagined this in book 1 during a lot of the cave scenes later on in the book where he looks almost emotionless/ ’dead on his feet’

He’s neurodivergent because literally all the states are and you cannot convince me otherwise. They're all weird /very pos. I love.

But yeah he’s a big sad bitch and he’s trying his best.

I would like to point out that all of this does come from my head so like. It’s not necessarily canon (although some of it is definitely displayed/more likely to be canon) probably making Mass more angsty than he actually is but that’s kinda what i do so like.

Doodles:

words might be hard to read I got shitty handwriting lmaoo

and for some angst to end it off here's Mass meeting his pre-trials self

puritans symbolized by demons bc they were religious and had bad morals. but look its baby Mass before his life was ruined.

inspired by the Adventure Time song

“Marceline… is it just you and me in the wreckage of the world? 

That must be so confusing for a little girl.

...

This magic keeps me alive, but it's making me crazy.

Oh yes a breeze. It’s like being slapped in the face with a hair dryer that has the setting ‘set hair ablaze’.