#blckct

Alright, so. Peter was realizing a few things today. The first— he was terrible at time management. It wasn’t exactly a new discovery but it was a lesson he never seemed to learn. Did he know he had plans today? Yes. Did he still somehow manage to run late, even though he had it in mind since the moment he woke up? Also yes.

The second— he was really rusty at making friends. There was a gut-wrenching panic that set in almost instantly when he looked at the time and saw he should have left his apartment five minutes ago. As a result of said panic, he scooped up his homework before grabbing his phone to text Felicia that he would be there soon. The apology was riddled with typos but he was worried that these five precious minutes would make her realize her mistake, and never want to see him again.

The last time he had actually made friends was with Ned and MJ. And really, what did even do to gain their friendship? Nothing. It honestly felt like dumb luck that they stuck around him long enough to be tricked into liking him. But the truth? No one understood him like they did. Now that they weren’t in the picture anymore, Peter floundered when it came to any sort of interaction. It was all awkward and anxious and too many words falling out of his mouth that he couldn’t stop, and it was usually met with short answers and expressions that silently begged him to let them leave.

Needless to say, when Felicia asked him if he wanted to get lunch sometime it took a minute to sink in. There were a few people at ESU he was friendly with but holy shit she actually was asking to hang out with me?! Peter barely used his phone for things other than mindlessly reading through emails, or listening to police scanners. When he realized he had gotten a text, he figured it was one of his lab partners asking about the due date for the fifth time. He almost ignored it. But now he was glad he didn’t.

When Peter finally swung open the door to the little cafe, an already dramatic entrance made worse by the sharp twang of the bell, he was panting. Technically he had made really good time— this place was a frequent of his, after all. He knew how to get there without even trying. But he was still feeling terrible about running late, so when he noticed Felicia he hastily made his way over and apologized yet again.

So, this was new.

The apartment that Peter moved into recently was his own little bubble. No one other than himself (and the landlord) had stepped foot inside since the space became his. It was small, still pretty bare— but it was his. And for being thrown into this situation, Peter thought he was doing pretty well for himself.

He found a small futon recently and dragged it up the stairs, barely able to fit it through the door. It was comfortable enough, and nice to have when he had a little bit of time to watch the old TV he spotted in a large dumpster the week before. The table with his sewing machine also held his school books and a mug with all his pens and pencils. And against the wall, Peter moved the Sith Lord Lego and MJ’s necklace pieces so they would be out of the way.

The problem was that he had no pictures. Every piece of evidence that he existed along side anyone else had been erased. It made him feel fake. It made him angry. Every photo with May, with Ben, with MJ and Ned, with Tony— gone. He was scared he would forget, because his own memory was all he had left. 

Cue: Felicia Hardy. The first person to notice Peter after the entire world was memory wiped and forgot who he was. She had no connection to his past, and so he could look at her and be free of the knot in his stomach that was there when he was around MJ or Ned. That in itself was something he was drawn to. But she was practically magnetic, pulling Peter in. And he didn’t fight against it.

Being faced with the idea of her visiting his place meant that he was now hyperaware of every flaw and everything it lacked. Felicia was the exact opposite of this place— sparkling and sharp and fancy. Fancy? Was that the right word? Well, maybe not everyone thought she was but Peter certainly did.

He needed friends. He needed connections. He needed to do something about the deep loneliness he carried with him everyday. It was dark and scary and threatened to swallow him whole. Felicia made the first move, she was the one interested. So Peter decided.. why not?

Peter was pacing around his little kitchen area near the door, wringing his hands, when he heard her knock. A few quick steps got him there and after clicking the lock open and turning the knob, there she was.

Song of the week #229