#blazingjargon

- One time when I was rolling out into the parking lot of my campus with my ebike, I crashed point blank range into a stone pillar. I was going less than 2mph. Multiple witnesses started staring at me. I just shouted "you didn't see that" and we had a good laugh.

- There was a time I was going to crack an egg onto my skillet. But apparently my brain got the signal to SLAM THE EGG ONTO MY STOVE HOOD. With zero warning. Like my arm just...gained sentience and said A LA PUTA

- I walked face first into a pole the other day. I wasn't even holding my phone. I was staring directly at said pole. My brain saw that and said floor it apparently

- When I did MMA I would repeatedly step on my own feet and couldn't tell my left and right apart no matter how many times they showed me. They were so patient with me though; I absolutely want to take another class

-I've spilled coffee on myself more times than I can count

I'm like 500% sure my autism has a lot to do with this but it's funnier to think I'm just a bird with a VERY screwed up internal compass

ah fuck wait that's just kulon