#bladibla

To all of you who’ve been hearing about how much of a victim my poor ex boyfriend is, who was suddenly left and abandonned by the awful me. For those who’ve been led to believe that there was no apparent reason and it happened, out of the blue, on a whim, because I am crazy in my head. For those who think I’m pure evil for not even wanting to be his friend anymore, I’ve got a message for you!

Here are some facts:

He destroyed my garden table, totally obliterated it.

He hung from my window while I was having a panic attack because in his opinion I didn’t have any reason for a panic attack and he was going to give me one.

He spent at least €100 a week on weed and alcohol, that was my money though.

If I didn’t give him money, he would throw a fit.

He owes me €6000!!!!!!

When he left my house, I found out he had kicked the bed so hard, there’s pieces coming off.

There was a bottle of milk in the corner of that same bedroom, that had died, come back to life, started crawling and died again, multiple times!

His cans of beer were everywhere, making flies from everywhere believe that my house was the perfect habitat for them.

He stole my sleeping bags, I found out yesterday.

Whenever he got a bill in the mail, he would throw a tantrum or simply throw away the letter until there were fines and I could pay them with my money.

He used a trashcan to throw his dog’s shit in it because he was too lazy to walk her. Eventually that trashcan was filled with shit and way too heavy to lift. Only and after complaining about it for so long, he finally took care of it and littered it in the park!

He owes my brother around €750.

From the morning till the time he went to bed, he did nothing but complain, destroy my self-esteem, isolate me from the world because he was scared I’d find something better, throw fits because I would talk to friends on the internet, ask for money, drink alcohol, smoke weed and treat me like shit until I believed I was shit.

We had an open relationship in which he started fights whenever I took the chance of making “use” of this open relationship but let a girl randomly join in our relationship without even asking me first.

He constantly brought up that the money he owed me was because I forced him to go on holidays with me, not giving a shit that he didn’t pay his bills, had a lot of fines, demanded money for beer and weed weekly and would occasionally borrow money from friends, expecting ME to give it back to them.

He whined so much, a lot of his friends left and didn’t want anything to do with him anymore because that’s all he would do, complain, moan, whine and yell in anger at everyone around him.

Once I went to a friend’s place and took him with me, he used her oven plates as trashcan, didn’t clean his empty beer cans and just placed them on the balcony. He’d throw wet towels on her clean laundry, didn’t do the dishes but used everything. I was asked not to bring him over anymore.

Everywhere I went with him in public he would embarass me by yelling. He yelled at me in the supermarket because his bread was sold out. He yelled at me on the streets because I didn’t want to ride over a dog who was on the cyclist path with his boss and he said he didn’t care because they shouldn’t have been there. He’d make racist and sexist comments on public transport. He’d talk about very personal subjects and get angry about it, also on public transport. At parties, he’d always end up fighting with me, bringing me to tears and ruining my whole night. It came as far as me feeling paralysed and not getting out of bed for at least FOUR months!

I stopped playing the piano because he nagged about me practicing the same song over and over again.

He played loud music all day long, not turning down the volume when we were in a conversation, making me feel very anxious.

He demanded me to buy him a €600 custom cosplay costume of Assassin’s Creed, I never did that obviously.

He demanded to have a pet duck.

He wanted me to buy a big farm house in the middle of nowhere with at least one room he was allowed to trash.

After we broke up, I found out he told people that the reason the house was that big of a mess was ME. I was the only one that cleaned the entire house and I was the only one that tried to keep it clean, resulting in failing to keep it clean, resulting in not doing a damn thing anymore because nobody gave a damn.

He sucked the energy out of me, he drained me, he made me feel useless and made me want to die.

Whenever he had an anger outburst he’d just leave and not come back for a week, leaving his dog in our care, while his dog was badly raised and therefor bit people and being very unpredictable. Also tying us to the house and refraining us from leaving the house. (Us is my brother and I).

If I went out without him, for example to go shopping with girl friends, he would start calling me, if I didn’t pick up his phone, he’d start calling every female friend of mine until he got a hold of me. He would often blame me of lying about my whereabouts and throwing a fit because I didn’t pick up my phone immediately.

When we went to a festival he would repeatedly tell me that he’d be all over the place and I couldn’t count on him at all, so I better prepare myself for being left alone, but when I didn’t pick up my phone, because I was watching a gig, he got so upset he’d yell and be angry for the rest of the day.

During our open relationship I only had sex with two different guys, both from other countries, so I wouldn’t see them much if even at all due to the distance, he would remind me of this and pick fights over this the entire relationship, which lasted almost 3 years.

So to answer the text message I just got from his colleague, asking me to please please please talk to him and be friends with him again because he’s down and misses me;

How the fuck does he miss someone he saw as a good for nothing, useless, lying, cheating, lazy woman who didn’t do anything but lie in bed all day, supposedly refrain his friends from visiting him and was crazy in the head because of her anxiety issues?

I’m not fucking charity, I’m not going to be friends with him and nothing good will come out of it because he doesn’t want to get out of the shithole, he just wants to drag EVERYONE with him IN THAT FUCKING SHITHOLE.

Nothing will get better for him if I talk to him and be friends with him, you know why? Because the only reason he wants to be friends, is so that he can complain, nag, moan and bitch about everything wrong with his life and suck the energy out of everyone around him until they feel as isolated as I am and he can feel superior.

Please LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE. I spent THREE years of my life on this waste of space, NO MORE. A lot of my stuff was destroyed, my self esteem was destroyed.

Don’t believe in his lies, he’s disgusting. Playing the victim. For fuck’s sake. I’M NOT CHARITY.

Originally I used twitter to share my gaming experience, especially Animal Crossing because of the creative builds and beautiful pictures you can take there but also Pokemon and other games like Kirby, Pikmin, Ni No Kuni, etc... but now twitter's gone to shit and I refuse to use the site anymore. I needed to find something else and came back to tumblr but my old blog didn't feel quite right to use and it felt very forced to keep the actual content going I had years ago. Many of the people I followed haven't logged in for years either. I may pop in on this blog again here and there, but I'm enjoying my new one quite a lot so I'll be focusing on that and so you can find me there!