I just left a tattoo parlor with my my fiancĂ© after getting an impromptu neck tattoo (star trek Lieutenant Commander pips). My fiancĂ© told me that he really wants a visible tattoo, but he worries that having visible tattoos, on his arm say, will prevent future clients from wanting to work with him should he pursue a career as a photographer. He began to relay a story about how back in the 90âČs, he used to wear earrings, and noticed that people in stores assumed he was a shoplifter/lowlife/etc. His point is that, as an introvert, he doesnât know how he feels about risking potential clients or relationships by choosing to look a particular way. He said something to the effect that he wished he didnât have to worry about people prejudging him, and that he wishes he didnât have to care about what people thought about how he looks.
My fiancĂ© is white. He is the most open-minded, beautiful, understanding person I know, and is always interested in learning more about the plight of POC. However, my response to his position on not wanting to ostracize people by looking âotherâ prompted me to share my perspective. Even if I wasnât heavily tattooed with facial piercings, dreadlocks, and a side shave, my being black is enough to ostracize me from a large percentage of the population. I cannot count how many times Iâve been followed around in stores for being black, how many times Iâve been the only POC at a rock concert, organic grocery store, and lecture hall. âOthernessâ has never been a choice for me. No matter how I dress, a large group of people will automatically make assumptions about my character and consider me a threat of some kind. I could straighten and bleach my hair, cover my tattoos, and wear a tasteful pantsuit, but I will always translate as âotherâ to a large percentage of the population. So, instead of trying to please countless others (a losing battle if ever there was one), Iâm like, FUCK IT. IâM A PROUD BLACK WEIRDO. I rock my tatts, my dreads, and my Star Trek messenger bag with a big fucking smile on my face. When youâve dealt with a lifetime of systemic racism, a little thing like a visible tattoo doesnât make a damn difference, so I have chosen to walk through life as the person I want to be, payinâ no mind to those unfortunate enough to write me off for my exterior coverings -- theyâre missing out on getting to know a person who is vibrant and self-expressive, inside and out.Â