#blackangelentry

I’m holding back because I’m protecting myself. I don’t want to get hurt anymore. Because I know guys like girls who are innocent and pure. Because I know someday you’d get tired of me and then decide to leave. And even though it will feel like the world is falling apart and I’ll die, I know it won’t. Because the earth doesn’t stop rotating if I cry. The earth will still revolve around the sun even if I die. And then I should move on. So yeah, I’m saving myself from that.

This is so lame! Why of all time, ngayon ko pa maririnig uli ang kantang 'yun. Earlier, our school was celebrating the Education Week and there was a short program. My classmates gave an intermission number. It was our school's version of the ASAP Sessionistas. Their finale song was  The Script's The Man Who Can't Be Moved. Actually. I've discovered that song when I was still a sophomore. I immediately liked or loved the song. I kept on repeating the track on my player. I just can't get enough of it. Then the message of the song sank in. I thought to myself, "the songwriter was thinking of me when he/she was writing this". I so can relate to it-before. Nagbagong buhay na ata ako. Maybe, if the Lianne listening to it was that of before, I'd go "kilig to the bones" with that song. But now, not anymore! Somehow it reminded me but it doesn't have the same effect anymore.

Living in a life full of 'disciplined' people is so stressful. Why? Because you have to be careful of your actions. You need to be seen as always perfect. There are many rules and obligations that needs to be followed or else, you'll end up a news topic for the critics.

Is there really a point in life when love fades away? Like you and your guy started out perfectly. Your relationship is built by the so-called "true love". Everybody thinks its an ideal relationship. Perfect relationship. Then suddenly, in a flick of a finger, everything turned upside down. TRUE LOVE...does it really mean FOREVER?

Of all days, he came up in front of me today-UNEXPECTED! I was really shock. I mean, pwede naman bukas or sa susunod na araw, ba't ngayon pa? Then a sound from the back of my mind said, "hey girl, it's your birthday!". It is. It will be. Thank you Lord! This is the shocking birthday gift ever! ♥

In such an assumptive world, no wonder it is so difficult to love and be loved by someone.

once upon a time...

Today, we were visited by marshals in our school. There’s this one guy (I mean military) who really caught my attention. I don’t know why, he’s not that handsome or something, he just caught me-off guard. And then this thing I hate the most (I tend to fall in love with guys who are really older than me). What I mean there is literally fall and literally older. How, I hate this feeling of mine. I feel so dirty or something. Worse comes to worse, he's attached! I have so many guys in my life but I never really had them all. Never had and never will.