#blabberingon

Holy shit, this is not a joke. This girl is completely different from all the rest, and in the best ways possible. Yesterday we hung out, went shopping for our cosplays, got coffee, and came back to my house to work on our cosplays. Well that was the original plan, but things kind of changed after we got back to my house. We cuddled on the couch and talked, had a very nice heart to heart for the first time in person, which was amazing. She got to meet my pup, and even played with her, which made my heart melt. Thanks to the lady at Michael’s we had to go to Walmart to get oven-bake clay, and then went to check on her grandmother, which it was nice meeting her grandmother. After that we came back to the house to start working on our horns, mind you by this time it’s nearly 11 at night. We had to run back across the river to help her grandmother again, so we had made a little progress with our horns. By the time we came back to the house it was nearly 2 in the morning, so we decided to clean our mess up and go upstairs to my room to watch Hocus Pocus, since she had never seen it and I happened to own a copy. 

Now I’m saving the best part of the night for last, because this was absolutely the best part of the whole night. About 3/4ths of the way into the movie I turned my attention from the movie playing on my TV, to the beautiful girl snuggled in my arms with her head tucked into my shoulder. By this point we were giving each other pecks on the nose, forehead, and cheek, which was very sweet, but in this moment her face was rather close to mine, and I mean close, like a kiss or kill moment in theatre and this was a kiss moment waiting to happen. Being me I contemplated in my head if I should kiss her or not, though I really did want to kiss the girl. Instead of instantly making a move, I did the next best thing, or in my case anyway. I cupped her cheek in my hand and stroked her cheek and jaw with my thumb or index finger. The next moment my eyes are closed and my lips have found her’s; our wonderful first kiss. 

What do you really do after a break up? I’m curious. Do you wait that 30 days... no contact no nothing, allow yourself to “heal”? Or do you dive back in feet first? To me.. one seems riddled with sadness and the other seems like adventure...neither one seems wrong either.

Like you get to the point where you’re like-- ok, obviously I am not dying. My body isn’t going to evaporate. Even when it hurts, you wake up, brush your teeth and go on. You start going to bed on time, hanging out with old friends, and you’re right back on the saddle.

Life is short... and there are a lot of people in the world...at 21, almost 22.. I’m like, what have I really experienced? Isn’t this just a check off... everyone has their first real gritty heart wrenching break up-- and then you’re 33, married, with your first child on the way, and you can’t remember what letter his name started with... It almost seems like such an unimportant event, and yet it is...