#bl lookback

The story begins when Nakaya, a high schooler and hockey player, gets sick of living with his domineering, traditional grandmother. He shows up at his father’s apartment, asking if he can live with him from now on. Shino, a 33-year old voice actor is surprised to see Nakaya; while he knew he had a son, they’d never met. Still, being a kind-hearted and earnest person, he lets Nakaya move in and tries to bond with him.

Why exactly Shino has never met his son isn’t addressed. Shino and Nakaya’s mother (who is dead when the story begins) parted on amicable terms and they lived nearby, so it doesn’t really make sense except to increase the dramatics.

[image description: Nakaya examines Shino while he sleeps on the couch, thinking, “Man, he’s completely different from the dad I’d imagined. Look at that baby-face, for cryin’ out loud.”]

Since he has a son to care for now, Shino thinks that he better step up his career. He tells his manager that from now on he’ll take any job. That is how he winds up doing a lot of voice work for BL CDs -- and how he comes into extended contact with Tenryu, a slightly older and more popular voice actor.

Bear in mind that this story takes place in the 90s. BL, while popular, is still considered seedy, deviant even. (And a lot of the BL stories he’s recording ARE super seedy.) At first, Shino is hesitant about doing such roles. But he prides himself on being a professional, so he gives it his all -- even though he can’t really relate to the roles.

Tenryu is all too happy to help Shino relate.

[image description: While recording lines, Tenryu leans over and blows into Shini’s ear, startling a cry out of him. The staff comment that Shino’s cry fit into the recording perfectly, but Shino is flustered.]

Here’s my main issue with Shout Out Loud!: the story wants so badly for me to buy into Tenryu as a love interest. But he checks off a lot of boxes in the “yikes!” column of BL love interests. Emotionally pushy? Check. Physically domineering? Check. Condescending? Check. Zero regard for boundaries and the words “no” and “stop”? Check. Positive qualities? I have no idea. He’s good at his job? (Aside from when he’s harassing Shino at work.)

We’re supposed to believe that Tenryu knows what Shino wants better than Shino does. As readers though, with the benefit of direct insight into Shino’s thought, we know he doesn’t want Shino kissing him and touching him. He is simply too intimidated and acquiescent to stand up for himself. His feelings towards Shino inevitably begin to warm up as the story goes on, which honestly frustrated me because Tenryu hadn’t done anything really to merit Shino’s affection beyond being a broody stereotype.

Don’t get me wrong: I love brooding (fictional) men. But they’ve got to prove that they are something beyond assholes. I couldn’t help but think back to reading Gerard & Jacques last month while reading Shout Out Loud! Fumi Yoshinaga put in the work to show that Gerard had honest-to-God positive qualities; by the end of volume 2, you could understand why Jacques liked him, even if you didn’t agree with their relationship.

Satosumi Takaguchi had 5 volumes to convince me that Tenryu was at least somewhat likeable, but she never got me there. I guess I’m supposed to feel bad for him because he recently got divorced and won’t be seeing his kid much anymore? All I could think about that was, “Good for her, I’d divorce him too.”

[image description: Tenryu leans into Shino’s space and says, “I wasn’t joking [on the radio show.] I really did kiss you. I said as much, didn’t I? But you were pretty out of it. I... I got a good thirty seconds of a kiss.” Shino is taken aback.]

But enough about those guys. Let’s talk more about Nakaya.

Of the entire cast, Nakaya is the character who develops the most. He begins the story immature, thinking only of himself as teenagers tend to do. When he first discovers his father is voicing BL CDs, he’s disgusted. But he keeps listening and eventually comes to appreciate his father as a professional.

In addition to suddenly moving in with his previously-absent father, Nakaya has a lot of other drama going on in his life. From a pregnancy scare with his girlfriend Souko to his changing feelings about hockey, he navigates through a lot of teenage troubles. The biggest storyline, however, is that he finds himself unexpectedly attracted to one of the assistant hockey coaches at his club.

Akihi is a talented, 20-something player who had to give up competitive hockey due to an injury. Nakaya finds him incredibly cool but he soon comes to suspect that his admiration of Akihi might actually be attraction.

When Shino finds out about this, he freaks a bit, thinking that listening to BL CDs might’ve somehow turned Nakaya gay. Nakaya denies this, though he concedes the CDs opened his mind to the possibility. Shino’s misinformed and homophobic reaction is pretty typical for the time this manga was created, but still tiresome to read. (Not to mention kind of hypocritical since Shino has also been questioning his sexuality.)

[image description: Shino sits in seiza as Nakaya tells him, “But even if [listening to the CDs] was what made me a little curious... don’t you think it’d be normal to want to give it a try myself.” He thinks of Akihi skating and continues, “Akihi is amazing at ice hockey. And he’s really cool.”]

Akihi is well aware that Nakaya is attracted to him, but wary. As he explains to Shino, Nakaya is young and has never been interested in a guy before -- his feelings could be fickle. Akihi, on the other hand, is older and actually states aloud that he is gay (pretty uncommon for BL manga of the time.) He doesn’t want to get emotionally invested only for Nakaya to change his mind. Of course, he ends up getting invested anyway.

The age gap between Nakaya and Akihi is handled somewhat well. While Akihi is a coach, he’s not in charge of Nakaya’s team, so the power imbalance isn’t as bad as it could be. It also helps that Nakaya does more of the pursuing and that Akihi isn’t his first sexual partner. But the age gap will still undoubtedly be an issue for some readers.

Ultimately, I didn’t find myself rooting for either the Shino/Tenryu relationship or the Nakaya/Akihi relationship. They both fell prey to the same sort of “Once we get started, I won’t be able to stop” nonsense and other such emotionally manipulative, rape-y bullshit. Nakaya/Akihi wasn’t as bad about it as Shino/Tenryu, but I wasn’t invested enough with Akihi as a character to care much of their relationship.

The relationship that’s at the heart of Shout Out Loud! -- and the strongest aspect of the story -- is the odd bond between Shino and Nakaya. They are father and son and both of them would like to be close. But Shino has no idea how to be a father to Nakaya and Nakaya has no idea how to be a son to Shino. As a result, they both mean well, but they also both mess up a lot. It’s awkward and sometimes painful and the most “real” part of the series.

[image description: Shino checks out Nakaya’s baby photos in an album, commenting on what a cute baby he was. Nakaya is contemplative and tells him, “I totally forgot all this while... you know, how maybe... having your son show up out of the blue must’ve been a real nuisance. I just thought that and... I’m sorry.”]

To give credit where it’s due, it’s nice to read a BL with fleshed out relationships besides the romantic ones. Likewise, it’s also nice to read a BL with a heavy focus on the characters’ careers. Some of the most interesting parts were when Shino and the other voice actors were recording. (And the mash-up of Legend of the Galactic Heroes and Romance of the Three Kingdoms that they were working on was funny.) However, those elements weren’t enough to keep the series afloat for me.

In short, Shout Out Loud! doesn’t hold up for me at all anymore. I’m honestly confused about what I liked about it in the first place.

Set roundabouts the French Revolution, Gerard & Jacques follows the relationship of two men over the course of nine years. Jacques is the younger of the pair at just 16 when the story begins. He hails from an aristocratic family, but experiences a severe reversal of fortune: his family has sunken deep into debt and his father sold Jacques to a brothel in attempt to save the family’s wealth.

Gerard, meanwhile, is a commoner-- albeit a very wealthy one. He frequents brothels and is a favorite patron of many of the workers since he is younger and more attentive than most of the clientele. Since it’s Jacques’ first night on the job, the brothel owner decides that Gerard will be the best way to ease him into it.

Jacques, however, is understandably in shock about his new reality. He reveals to Gerard that he is an aristocrat and Gerard in turn reveals that he hates aristocrats, stating that they do nothing to earn their wealth. Furthermore, Jacques’ defense of his family’s actions angers Gerard. He makes Jacques face the facts of his situation and Jacques finally tells Gerard to do whatever he wants.

[image description: Gerard hold Jacques by the chin and tells him, “Think about it! What are you now? Do you have any means to pay off your debt other than selling your own body?” He lets Jacques go and continues, “And even in this state, a first-rate prostitute like you is blessed with a feather pillows, three meals a day and silk bed clothes. Younger children than you sell their bodies in places no better than a public toilet!”]’

Although consent is given on paper, it’s hard to call what occurs in chapter 1 anything besides rape.

Usually, this is where I’d drop a BL. However, the saving grace of Gerard & Jacques is that chapter 1 doesn’t end there. Instead, it ends with Gerard taking pity on Jacques. He buys out Jacques’ contract and challenges him to find a way to earn a living as a commoner, stating “If I see you back here [at the brothel] when I next return, I’ll scorn you from the bottom of my heart.”

Not long after, Jacques turns up at Gerard’s mansion looking for work, not realizing who lives there. Although he’s taken aback upon seeing Gerard, Jacques is still eager to prove himself. Gerard openly doubts that Jacques will be useful, but hires him regardless.

Here is the crux of Gerard & Jacques: the story’s setup is deeply problematic. But where a less talented mangaka would slip into weak character development and tired tropes in favor of exploiting the scenario’s raciness, Yoshinaga works hard to prove there is a story worth reading here. As for how successful she ultimately is… your mileage may vary.

Let’s talk about what’s done well first.

Yoshinaga excels at writing characters with complex emotions and motivations. Jacques is naive and repressed when it comes to sexual matters. However, he is also an intelligent, hard-working, and prideful person who isn’t afraid to tackle tasks that other people think are below him. After being turned out by his family, what he wants most is to prove his worth.

[image description: a maid praises Jacques for working hard and finding tasks to do without being told, ending with “That’s the sign of a good servant.” Jacques is pleased.]

Jacques, for obvious reasons, got a poor first impression of Gerard, so he’s surprised to learn that Gerard treats his servants very kindly and is well-liked by therm. As a self-made man, Gerard has enough reason to dislike pampered, frivolous aristocrats. (Note: Gerard made his fortune by penning erotica. There’s certainly some meta going on here, as that is also how Yoshinaga built her career.) 

However, it doesn’t take long for Yoshinaga to divulge Gerard’s past and reveal the real reason behind his ire. I won’t go into the details because it’s all obviously spoilers. But, in short, Gerard was hurt badly by someone he loved and has never forgiven them-- nor has he forgiven himself for being blinded by his love.

[image description: Jacques asks Gerard, “Is this love?” Gerard is surprised by the question, then he looks down and responds, “How should I know?”]

As someone who primarily reads to experience other people’s emotions, I appreciate the care that Yoshinaga takes in crafting believable personalities and depicting the characters’ emotions clearly on the page. She isn’t afraid to use several panels to simply show a small shift in a character’s expression. In relatively few chapters, she covers a lot of emotional ground while showing how the two main characters’ feelings for each other change.

[image description: Jacques lays on Gerard’s chest and pets his hair, saying “I like you...” Unseen by Jacques, Gerard moves as if to put his arm around Jacques and return his embrace, but pulls away.]

Yoshinaga also manages to pack an awful lot of plot into just two volumes without the story feeling too rushed. Nearly a decade goes by! There’s the events that shift Gerard and Jacques relationship, story lines that reveal backstory, and, of course, plots driven by Revolutionary France politics. There’s so much political and legal talk at some parts, in fact, that you might momentarily forget you’re reading a BL. While some readers may be uninterested in such plots, I personally enjoy romance stories that have something else going on within them besides romance.

Finally, I greatly appreciate that Yoshinaga steered clear of the Bury Your Gays trope. It’s a spoiler to even say so, but I think it’s important to know, especially for queer readers: neither Gerard nor Jacques die. I won’t say anything more about the ending than that.

[image description: Gerard and Jacques are arguing whether Jacques should flee the country alone or if Gerard should come with. Jacques stands his ground, saying “I won’t go unless you do!”]

Now let’s talk about the bad stuff.

The number one issue I take with Gerard & Jacques is its double standard surrounding sexual consent. In essence, the reader is meant to presume that since Jacques ultimately enjoys the sexual pleasure he receives from Gerard, that means that his consent is good and golden-- and thus it’s not rape. By contrast, when another character forces sexual attention on people, it’s plainly depicted as sexual assault and rape. Obviously, that’s not how it works in real life.

There’s also a weird, pseudo-incestuous vibe. Gerard is quite a lot older than Jacques (roughly twice his age when they first meet, I think). Furthermore, Jacques’ background and kind-heartedness remind Gerard of a girl who he considered his daughter. Gerard even tells Jacques when he is older, “I loved you like my own child, but that’s not all now. I love you like my lover.” While no actual incest occurs, I’m sure this alone will turn off plenty of readers.

[image description: Gerard comments to the maid that Jacques looked cute dressed up in aristocratic attire. She remarks, “What a fond father you are.” He thinks on this, then repeats, “A fond father. I see.”]

Finally, there’s some unfortunate Man in a Dress style transphobia. Gerard disguises himself as a woman briefly for plot reasons and, in short, some characters note that the look doesn’t suit him. The way it’s executed is much gentler than most other Man in a Dress joking I’ve seen, but it’s still bothersome.

Overall, Gerard & Jacques isn’t bad. In fact, I’d say that Yoshinaga pulls off the story rather well within the confines of the problematic scenario. However, I think the story would’ve been far better without the rape between the two leads.

[image description: Jacques frowns at a manuscript and says, “No matter how many times I read this, it’s still just a crappy, erotic trash novel.” Gerard replies, “It sells. What’s the problem?”]

If this review has made you curious despite the warnings, I do think it’s a worthwhile read so long as you are prepared for objectionable content. But for people put off by the various warnings, I’d encourage you to check out something else by Fumi Yoshinaga. My two personal favorite series from her are Antique Bakery (workplace slow burn drama) and What Did You Eat Yesterday? (half cookbook, half slice of life about a middle aged gay couple.) Neither of these are actually BL in the proper sense, but both prominently feature gay main characters.

Wataru is an ordinary teenager who, by chance, meets Kazuki, a popular upperclassman. Kazuki is the prince of their high school, with what seems like the entire female student body crushing on him. In fact, even girls at other schools adore Kazuki. He’s handsome, smart, athletic, rich, and-- above all else--known for his kindness.

Wataru, therefore, is shocked when Kazuki treats him rudely during their first encounter. He continues to be a jerk to Wataru during future meetings. Why does he treat me differently? Wataru wonders. As time goes by, his thoughts become more and more preoccupied with Kazuki.

[image description: Kazuki yanks a handkerchief from Wataru’s grip and tells him, “Wash your face at home.”]

I’m sure you can all tell where this is going. It’s an old plot, made popular for centuries by works like Pride and Prejudice. What distinguishes Only the Ring Finger Knows from similar stories is its one quirky plot element: the rings.

At Wataru and Kazuki’s school, rings are popular. Two friends might wear matching rings on their right ring fingers to show off their bond. A student can signal that they are single by wearing a ring on their middle finger. And, most importantly, couples wear matching rings on their left ring fingers.

Wataru isn’t keen on the trend, but he does have a ring that he wear on his middle finger due to his personal attachment to it. And (gasp!) Kazuki happens to have a ring that is the exact same design.

You can probably guess where this is going as well.

[image description: Kazuki says that he had to get his ring back from Wataru because “it’s creepy being paired up with a guy.” After a moment, Wataru says, “Same here!”]

The plot is beat-by-beat predictable, which isn’t necessarily a detriment within the romance genre. What the story does notably well is the character writing. 

Wataru is relatable for readers: aware that he doesn’t stand out and righteously upset at being treated poorly for no reason. He stands up for himself, pushing back against Kazuki’s bad behavior verbally and-- when necessary-- physically. He’s kind to his sister, doing her the favor of delivering a friend’s present to Kazuki even though he’s loathe to talk to Kazuki more. Perhaps most importantly, he’s honest to himself about his feelings, even as they confuse him.

[image description: Wataru presents Kazuki with a large, wrapped gift. Kazuki is taken aback and Wataru notes that Kazuki’s surprise seems genuine even though Wataru thinks Kazuki must get gifts frequently.]

Kazuki, meanwhile, is compelling for readers primarily because they suspect what his true feelings are and wait on bated breath for those feelings to be revealed. It’s always satisfying when a proud character admits something that they view as a vulnerability. However, 

Kazuki as a character ages poorly for me. The “he teases you because he likes you” mindset persists even today, but it’s becoming less tolerable for modern readers and may turn some off this story. 

In addition, Kazuki leans dangerously into the “bully but secretly gay” trope. It doesn’t feel quite accurate to call Kazuki a bully-- he doesn’t purposefully seek Wataru out to harass him or humiliate him in front of peers. But he does nettle Wataru during every interaction. Whenever Kazuki feels the conversation is becoming too intimate or he has exposed too much of himself, he sabotages the conversation by pissing Wataru off.

[image description: Kazuki leans forward so that Wataru is backed into a wall. Wataru looks irritated. With just inches between their faces, Kazuki says, “Thanks for the special delivery.”]

I’ve no doubt that these traits would make him an unacceptable love interest for many readers. However, some people enjoy such characters and Kazuki never does anything to Wataru that absolutely crosses the line into irredeemable. (Your mileage may vary.) 

Furthermore, when Kazuki finally confesses his feelings to Wataru and admits that he had no hope of Wataru ever liking him back, it’s instinctive to respond to that kind of vulnerability. Who among us has never feared that they valued a relationship far more than the object of their affections, whether it be a lover, a crush, a friend, or a family member?

[image description: Wataru tells Kazuki that he threw his ring away. Kazuki is shocked.]

The other element of the story that doesn’t age well is its attitude towards homosexuality. While Only the Ring Finger Knows is not as egregious in this respect as some other BL, it’s still tiring to read things like “It’s creepy being paired up with a guy,” and “You sure you aren’t ‘funny,’ that way?” 

Also, the characters exhibit a prevailing belief that being gay is something a person chooses. Even as Wataru accepts his own unexpected feelings for Kazuki, he thinks to himself, “Someone as popular as Kazuki has no reason to turn to another man for a partner.” (Despite the fact that he himself didn’t “turn” to Kazuki and fell for him quite naturally.) Likewise, Kazuki’s cousin makes a comment to Wataru’s sister that she’s surprised Kazuki didn’t “choose” to fall in love with her instead of Wataru, since Wataru and his sister look so much alike.

In addition, the most chaste displays of romantic affection between two men are treated as borderline obscene. In an epilogue, Wataru and Kazuki kiss briefly in front of Kazuki’s young niece. It’s meant to be a humorous and somewhat shocking moment, captioned with “in front of a child.” There’s nothing scandalous about the moment though, so the “humor” falls flat and ultimately it comes off as prudish at best and homophobic at worst.

As typical of BL from this era, there’s zero discussion of the troubles queer people face in a conservative society. The few people who find out about Wataru and Kazuki’s feelings are supportive. Neither Wataru nor Kazuki seem to think that they might be ostracized at school when people realize they are dating-- they mention that rumors may occur, but nothing nefarious. Indeed, the word “gay” never comes up in the story, nor does any related terminology.

[image description: Kazuki confesses that he found it hard to speak with Wataru because he was struggling with his feelings, adding “I never imagined that I’d find myself in love with a younger... man.”]

Many BL (old and new) have an issue of treating their female characters poorly. While none of the actual female characters in Only the Ring Finger Knows receive bad treatment, it’s troublesome how the manga paints basically every female student as being obsessed with Kazuki. And I do mean obsessed-- a mob of girls show up at Kazuki’s house on his birthday uninvited and end up rioting.

Despite these grievances, I did enjoy my reread of the manga. It’s a classic tale told well, with each scene showing how Wataru and Kazuki circle around each other, slowly drawing closer. The emotional payoff when they get together is satisfying, even if I can’t help but begrudge Kazuki his happiness somewhat.