#bit blog

As soon as I woke up i knew something terrible had happened.

This is just really disturbing to see, but let's break it down to get an idea of the full extent of the picture here.

Not his meal -2

Being held like a TERRIBLE totem -2

Meal is on his cheek, but does not reach his forehead -1

The spaghetti strains are appropriately humiliating -1

Messy little kid spaghetti mouth -1

I can see absolutely no regret in his eyes -1

The meal was not even on the floor it was on a people table implying that this was premeditated to some degree+2 i like his spunk

Old enough to know better -1

Owner was enjoying a lovely plate of spaghetti in their jammas and slippers, which i have been known to do so this feels personally hitting close to home for me now, which absolutely will be impacting the score because of bias -2

Sauce on limbs -1

Needing to be held by the gilp -1

Resisting arrest +2

Strong personally and go get em gumption +1

Has a taste for marinara now+1

Special considerations: none

This is very sad to see. He doesnt look at all like a self taught eater, and looks to have a beautiful home and VIGILANT owners. He is young, it is true, but you can tell by the admittedly limited smear of sauce that he got in there quick, likely while the owner was enjoying their meal, and took a well practiced, experienced bite with deadly precision.

I suspect that his 'sauce arms' are actually the result of needing to br wrestled AWAY from the spaghetti, which he then limely tried to grip the stolen meal unsuccessfuly, and held and be restrained by his own gilp. Very embarrassing, really.

Final score: -2/10

Chance of messy mouth rehabilitation: low.